Bizarre Online Dating Experience - Advice Sought

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I've recently a very strange experience using a well-known dating site. I will attempt to summarize the points of the story that I wish to reveal and that I think are relevent to arriving at an explanation for what happened. I would like to hear from you have any observations or suggestions to make.

I joined the site and contacted a few members locally who I had a high match score with and whose profiles sounded interesting. I didn't have much of a profile at first as I was cautious about what to say about myself. I was contacted by one member who hadn't filled out her profile (p2). She said that she liked what was about the only sentence I had written in my profile. So, I start messaging with this person and with the another person that I had contacted (p1).

I proceed to get into quite extensive messaging and instant messaging with p1 and we are getting along well and sharing some quite personal information. She seems to have chatted to a lot of guys but says she has never been as open as she has with me and seems genuinely surprised about this. We seem to have a lot in common and we are having very engaging conversations. I become amazed at how much this experience is affecting how I feel. I tell her this and she reciprocates but I don't feel she is quite as dumstruck as I have been.

Meanwhile I am also messaging and doing a little bit of IM with p2. She is quite a different kind of person from p1 and, having initiated contact with me initially, continues to show me attention in her messages and says she feels cared for by what I write to her. We continue to message. Eventually, when my excitement about her has escalated quite far, she seems to be playing a bit of a game with me. She does some things that I won't go into here and basically leaves me feeling tricked. I had been as honest as possible and I think she has exploited this and my generally vulnerable emotional state at the present time.

At about the same time, the conversations with p1 seem to have died down for a bit as we both apparently realise that we are good friends rather than romantic partners and that logistically it would be hard for us to meet, let alone have a substantial real-world relationship.

I then delete my account because I see that I just don't know what to believe about either of these people and that both of them might be the same person and be tricking me.

But now that I am feeling a bit calmer and have had time to come to terms with the surprisingly significant experience that I have had through online chat, I am not completely sure if I have been tricked once, twice, or not at all.

I think p2 was a trick because they contacted me when I had hardly anything on my profile and generally spun me along with a lot of cryptic conversation. I didn't have a picture on my profile and I wasn't contatced by anyone else. I think p2 has several profiles (this was admitted early on) and I think that they trick people.

I'm not sure whether my suspicions about this are fuelling my paranoia and making me think that p1 is also fraudulent. There is a lot I can point to that suggests the genuine and much that might indicate the bogus. My suspicion is that p1 and p2 are the same person and that through this 'double insight' into me they were able to string me along.

So, I am considering contacting p1 again using a different profile, but I don't know how I could possibly get to the truth. I could say anything and they could say anything and there could just be more confusion which I don't want.

But perhaps I am not thinking cleverly enough. Is there a way I could approach this so as to get to the bottom of it?

And how do you think this sounds from how I have described it?

Thanks in advance.

What an odd experience. The only advice I have is if you still have any messages from either of them is to look at them side by side. Many people make certain spelling or grammar errors repeatedly, or use a similar turn of phrase. You would have to be quite educated (and careful) to be able to write consistently as two different people without tripping up.

Apart from that, I can't think of another way to 'prove' it. Contacting Person 1 as someone else would be cruel if she is in fact genuine. You could always simply ask her, and see what her reaction is.

My advice is to stick with the reputable paid sites that require accurate personal information and a credit card to sign up, and that focus on creating a match, rather than casual chatting & taking quizzes.

match.com has worked for me, and some of my friends have had good results with eharmony.

Trying to match up with unseen strangers online is a terrible way to meet someone. There are better ways to meet people.

- Through events at your house of worship.

- Take courses. They are a good way to meet people.

- Volunteer. There are people worse off than we are, who would really appreciate the help. It's also a good way to meet people, and boost your self image and mood.

- Take up a hobby or join a club. These are good ways to meet people who share your interests.

- Get involved in community activities. Attend town meetings, events at local libraries and other local organizations. Attend local sporting events, fairs, and art shows. Attend and/or participate in local theater groups. These are all great ways to meet people and boost your self image and mood.

- Have a friend or relative introduce you to someone.

Trying to find someone online is way too risky, as there are too many creeps out there. So take advantage of local opportunities instead.