How naive can you be?

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ok. 23 failed attempts at love ? "just keep on trying, someday it is bound to happen" EH NO!

I have a belive in that love is for the chosen ones only. Im not one of those.

So why do people still belive and wish for me to find whatever is out there?

21 years old. and yet to appear in my first relationship. Something isnt right.

wow. 20 looks and no replies

My best friend growing up didnt even get a date until at least 22. He is the opposite of Aspie. When we stop looking for love, and just look for the simpler things is when we find the thing we really wanted all along.

Okay. First look, promise. What have you tried and what were the girls like. Specifics. Pretend you are writing me an instruction manual on your guide to love.

I can be pretty freakin' naïve. I'm more than twice your age and I'm still tryin'.

I didn't ever even go on a date, yes, a, as in ANY dates ever. I never got asked. Not that I wold have said yes if I had been asked though.

I went straight from never dating...to meeting the man who would become my husband (and never even going on a date with him....he was renting the studio apartment in my dads house)....to getting married.

I don't think dating works.....at least for finding a long-term partner in life

I had my first girlfriend when I was 21. And even then, I wasn't looking for one.

wow.

that old and no girl.

I was 17. then the next time was this past October.

I dated and it was an old boyfriend who told me, I found the perfect man for you. He set us up three times. Three weeks later, I moved in with him. 10 months later we got married. That was almost 26 years ago.


By the way, I was a terrible dater! Terrible. I would do things like get there, not know what to say and get up and leave. Or, I would get there and the guy (always NT by the way) would be so dull that I would think, Oh my God! This will never go anywhere. I'll be sleeping within the hour he's so boring. So, I'd get up and leave. When I finally met my husband, the first two times were a disaster. The first time I walked out. The second time I got mad at a comment he made and got him drunk and left him. The third time (my old boyfriend was really determined since he was there each time), I was sitting in this college sports bar with old boyfriend and writing my stories on napkins when in comes my future husband. He sits down and I don't even look up. I just keep writing. I don't hear them talking or notice a thing. Next thing I know, he orders me something to eat, puts it in front of me and says, "Here, eat this." Instant connection! (See, never doubt that someone is stranger than you.) Three weeks later after hearing that I'm a complete social idiot and my synapsis are constantly misfiring, he decides he must keep me safe from all the mean people and moves me in. Ten months later he tells me we are getting married.


And, he was even a good looking, intelligent NT. See, so go figure. I was 20 when I met him and married at 21. You can't predict anything. Just look for who really suits you. You don't want to end up with someone you don't like. There's going to be times when love won't see you through and you better really like the person.

I want to do this, it would be awesome, no dates, just go straight to marriage.

They say it's a common Aspie thing. Look at this.


Individuals with Asperger disorder may have particular difficulty in dating and marriage. Boys and men with Asperger disorder may decide to marry suddenly without the dating and courtship that typically precede a union. Individuals with Asperger disorder may want to marry despite the lack of awareness of the many social interactions that usually lead up to matrimony. For example, in the movie Roger Dodger, an inexperienced youth with traits suggesting Asperger disorder encounters difficulty in relations with women (Chaisson and Kidd, 2002). Such problems may continue into adulthood.

Case vignette: A 50-year-old surgeon, who is an accomplished amateur musician with a PhD in mathematics and who has traits consistent with Asperger disorder, decides that it is time to marry and have children. He has always lived at home with his parents. Because he has trouble establishing relationships with women in his ethnic group locally, he goes overseas to marry a cousin less than half his age. He leaves his parents home for the first time to rent an apartment with his wife. They have no sexual relationship. She finds no career for herself in her new country, so she requests a divorce. Immediately after the divorce the patient wants to marry another woman. He complains that he is unable to find a suitable woman in his ethnic group.


Here's the link: http://www.emedicine.com/ped/topic147.htm

I don't know as we dated. I guess we did. He took me to see three short films by David Lynch and Eraserhead by the same. That was the first date after the notorious "Here, eat this" incident. We mostly hung out in bookstores, saw weird movies and just lived together. Then, he told me we were getting married. I could never have made that decision. I only did it because he seemed to want it so much. LOL I couldn't see the point of marriage.


I think dating is stupid myself. No one ever tells the truth about themselves anyway. It's so bizarre. If you're compatible, go with it.

I've had girlfriends, and I have one now. I think it's just because of luck, not skill.

I didn't get my first bf till I was 20.

I didn't get my first bf till I was 20.

I'm starting to think the same thing :l

Don't feel bad about not being in a relationship yet. I'm incredibly naive and clueless when it comes to women. I didn't have my first relationship until I was 23. I've had women offer to buy me drinks, get me to come to their place to show me a book, tell me how lonely they were or follow me around. And you know what? It never occurred to me that they were interested in me. I couldn't read their signals and just thought they were being friendly. They all misread my actions as rejection and were offended.

The whole dating game is a hard struggle for us, but you will learn and improve over time. Don't be afraid to get rejected. If someone isn't interested in you then move on, don't waste your time. And there's nothing wrong with being single. Spend your free time improving and making yourself a better person. I'm very glad I didn't get married and settle down at a young age like some of my friends. I've done so many things to challenge myself and make myself a better person that I would have never done otherwise.