Unrequited love problem on the Internet

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It was exactly 1 year ago now I met a person I'm unhappy in love with on the Internet.
It started with that we met on a website called Soundcloud (it's almost like MySpace)
and he found me because I wanted to write a song to my favourite artist Imogen Heap.
The person I met thought that the idea seemed very interesting, and I listened to his songs.
We had exactly the same interests and we're both songwriters/music producers.
I didn't care about he was 5 years older than me, (he's 20) I still considered him as a friend.

We added each other on Facebook and we decided to do a song collaboration (just in case if collaboration with Imogen Heap didn't work), I started to figure out some lyrics and song melody and so on.
He and I wrote to each other everyday and I thought he was really nice.

One night in the end of September, I couldn't sleep, I started to think of this person in a very different way that before, (I actually said he was handsome, as a compliment, but it was before I got this kind of feelings) and I realised I was in love with him.

I was in panic, I had no idea what to do or what to write.
I thought for myself "Don't fall in love, he's just a friend!", but the feelings didn't stop and I felt more forced to tell him what I felt. I couldn't resist anymore, I went into the Facebook chat on my iPhone and said (without any kind of warning) that I fell in love with him.
After I sent the message, I cried myself to sleep, I didn't want this to happen..

The next couple of days he didn't answer, I thought that he was angry, but he was afraid.
I tried to cheer him up by writing "It's ok", but I wrote way too much messages
which was too much for him. He wrote to me that the amount of messages was intimidating, and that I should keep my love problems for myself. Then he blocked me.

I was desperately trying to contact him to explain I've got Aspergers, but he didn't answer there either. I started to feel more guilty and depressed, I needed help to fix this situation.
I was already depressed for months.
I asked some acquaintances (who also knew him) and I asked his brother for help.
He earlier said to me to leave his friends alone, he was already angry with me.
The only thing I wanted was to help him, he said I harassed and upset him.
When he found out I asked for help, he said that he'll contact the Internet authorities, which made me very scared. I'm not a bad person, I just don't know what is right or wrong.

All this because of one feeling. I can't stop think of him, I can't stop being unhappy in love.
My parents told me to not write to him. What am I going to do? Will this end happily?
Please help..

I doubt you really "loved" him. Perhaps you fell in love with him, but true love develops over time as the relationship goes longer. I think what eventually scared him off is you being so frighteningly direct. Give it a week or two and you'll already feel better. You'll feel even MORE better as you find something else to replace those "feelings", maybe another guy or an interest or something. You writing too many messegaes is also a big mistake, that would obviously intimidate anyone, including myself In retrospect you should have probably ask to meet him as friends IRL and then find out if he's the right guy for you.

I did, maybe it feels impossible to fall in love over the Internet, but I did.

Maja, I was in a situation not too different from yours about 3 years ago (although I was on the receiving end of the affection). A girl I had some great online correspondence with, told me she was developing deeper feelings, and I had to tell her that I couldn't return those feelings and I explained to her the reasons. After that, we continued to have a good online rapport until it watered down. And she eventually met a guy she settled down with.

Now, I don't want to alarm you, but judging from your story, it seems to me that the damage done to your online friendship with this boy will be very, very difficult to repair. But you shouldn't think that it's your fault. The way I'm reading it, if you sent him one message saying you've fallen in love with him, then didn't hear from him for a while, then sent him messages saying it's okay if he has to let it sink in or think about it, and then he called it harassment, that's a pretty extreme and mean reaction from him.
I mean, yes, I can understand how he'd feel about it, my reaction to the confession of the girl I mentioned was initially also "Wait, what's this? How can you go from online correspondence to infatuation so fast?" but for as far as possible, I did care about her feelings, and did not want to hurt those. So, I sent her a reply with an explanation. I think the guy you're talking about should have done the same.

I think the complete cut-off that he has pulled on you is something you didn't deserve, even if you had bombarded him with a million Aspie messages saying "It's ok". As difficult as it may be, perhaps it's best if you stop thinking about the guy for a while, despite the good times you've shared with him online making music together. In fact, it's those good experiences you've shared that no one can take away from either of you- not even the guy in question could erase that by blocking you.
Maybe, 2-3 months from now, once he's simmered down a little bit, you could post him a longer message putting down in words carefully how you feel at that point, and what you think about what went on between you guys.

I know it's even more difficult when you're prone to depression, but you might find that it would be a surprisingly good remedy if you stop thinking about him full stop, cold turkey, if only for a little while. That is to say, not forget him completely, or erase him from your life, but just switch your attention to other things in your life. Anything: school, music, family, I don't know, as long as you don't let the thought of that boy dominate your existence. I'm sure he's a great guy, but he's done the wrong thing by blocking you.

I hope things will work out for you.

I think NT's knows where the boundary is, when it's enough, when it's time to stop, I didn't see any boundary.
I explained for him what Aspergers is, and I hope he understands that is the reason of my (as he experiences it) unacceptable behaviour.

One of his friends said that it was a bad excuse to say I've got Aspergers and that cyber-stalking is illegal.
I didn't see it as stalking, I was only trying to explain.

He scolded at me many times, it was very rude, which was scary for me.
I was expecting by his age, that he was going to know how to handle this, that he was going to know how to behave.

When he said he'll inform the Internet authorities if I continue to contact his friends/family, I got very shocked and afraid, felt like my heart was going to stop (not literally).
I understand that this is serious, but I don't want to get reported because of my Aspergers.
I hope he's not going to do it, I've stopped to write to both him and his friends/family because I realised it was a bad thing to do,

It is for real. People fall in love in cyberspace all the time. And your feelings were for real. It is too bad that they were not reciprocated. And you will feel bad about it and it will take time to get over it but you will.

You need to get that scoundrel out of your head and that means keep yourself very busy with your usual activities, maybe you can get a cycle of songs out this experience, I mean song writing.

Everything is grist for the creative mill.

I don't think you can totally blame this on being an Aspie, things happen like this all the time to NTs too.

Google the words 'love addiction'

Dust yourself off, pick your self up, and get busy and you will have to work hard to remove this guy from your heart and brain.

Good luck. Hugs.

If he's five years older than you, and you're 15, figure out why you're not attracted to guys your own age.

There's a huge gap in where a 20 year old is in life versus a 15 year old. Maybe if you were an adult, it would be okay. But any 20 year old who would want to have a relationship with a high-school student is not the kind of man you would want to be with.

Been on both recieving and giving sides of things like that myself ( recieving in my real life, and giving in my online life - like you).
In fact im still struggling myself some unfinnished business ..
well..anyway...

A young lady aquaintence - friend of a friend- became friends with me. A very strange and emotionally needy girl who had a "boyfriend" who was an ex convict three times her age!

After hanging with me she decided that she was in love with me and not with her abusive ex-con boyfriend.
But to me she was clingy and offputting and I came to regard her as a stalker. She would call all of the time and I would have ration the minutes I would her to talk with me each month.

I pushed her so far away that she finnally vanished from my life.

Im not sayin that you're as wierd as this ladyfriend of mine was at one time, but the situations are kind of similiar.

Dial ahead years later- we got reaquainted and today she is now married to a nice other guy ( the convict guy died years ago) and she and her husband have a three year old son together, and she has a great high paying job.

So things came out well for her.



On the otherside of the equation- to make a long story short I myself struck up an email correspondence with an interesting young lady who happened to be a fellow aspie whom I met online( she and i both are alot older than you your penpal). She happened to live in another country on another continent.

But after months of corresponding we stopped and we have not written for a while because - well one reason is that she got angry at me for throwing too much emotion at her (i was guilty as charged- lol!).

Still, kinda guilty -sigh-
Anyway...

So you probably came on too strong and came off as an obsessed stalker ( like my real life friend), but youll recover from the whole thing and be better for it in the long run ( like my real life friend).

But I cant blame you for falling in love ( maybe it isnt really 'love' but having strong feelings) with an internet pen pal. I can certainly relate to that. Just seeing a couple pictures of someone is enough to tip the scale from seeing an online aquaitence as just a disembodied voice on the internet typing you text into to making them into a whole real person to you.

I'm not sure what the laws are in Sweden but in the US, a person could go to jail for having romantic relations with a minor, and be made to register as a sex offender (which in this country makes life very harsh for the rest of an individual's life). If you were 20 and he was 25 then there would be no issue but legality aside, there's a big neurological difference between 15 and 20.

As the other posters said, it's likely you were not in love with him. You were in lust with your perception of him.

As for the whole situation, forgive yourself because you are young, but use it as a learning experience. When an individual tells you to stop contacting them, respect that wish, and refrain from over explaining once you have made a social blunder such as you have. It's usually best to just drop it and leave it alone.

My messages to him has nothing to do with sex, as I'm not even interested in that kind of things, my messages was about how sorry and depressed I was and how much I wanted to go back to being friends.
My feelings for him was/is real, it's actually nothing another person can decide.
I asked my parents if what I done is a crime, they said it wasn't.
I don't want to hurt other people.
I couldn't help falling in love, and I can't help that I'm younger than him.

What you've done, crushing on him, was just innocent and isn't a crime. But even if you pursued him, and you were consenting, he would be charged. This is because a 20 year old knows better, the judgement part of the brain is more developed than that of a teenager's.

He's likely looking for something different in a relationship than you, and sexual attraction is usually up there in the list of priorities for 20-year-olds. He should be attracted to grown adults, instead of children. You're fine now, because he did the right thing by pushing you away. But if you do that again, and a 20 year old reciprocates in their feelings, you would want to stay far away. These kinds of guys are not who you want in your life. Keep yourself safe and stick with guys your own age.

Not all, but some boys in my age can be very immature and not honest, which I don't like.
I'm not immature, I understand that 5 years of difference is too much, but sometimes, I'm feeling older than what I am..

That is because boys your age are immature. They are young, just as you are. They will not offer the same maturity in a relationship, but that is because you are both still kids.

I remember when I was 15, there were still other boys who weren't so bad. They looked sweet, sensitive and shy.

If all else fails, like 20 year olds all you want, but don't pursue it until you are 20 yourself. You have to protect yourself first until you are fully developed as an adult.

I didn't mean to say I like 20 year old persons...

I know age may not seem to matter to you, and you see him as a person instead of a number, but just stick with guys who are teenagers themselves until you are an adult.

By the way, even most guys in their 20's are immature. I'd say it's safe to wait until you're 40 to start dating... Just kidding.

BTW, It just occured to me that "unrequired love" is also a song in your soundcloud page. haha.