Ever wonder how people see you?

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RICKY5
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28 Jun 2012, 10:50 pm

BlueMax wrote:

Kinme wrote:

MXH wrote:

I think that falls under my blanket, but theres also those who have tons of attention and they know they are getting it yet still think theyre ugly/fat/etc.

How can they think that...?

Why wouldn't we? When we get no POSITIVE feedback and plenty of "loser" comments from the "popular kids" (and those gangs still exist through the working world and into retirement!) it's easy to start to believe those comments.

After all - if we were attractive, wouldn't we be getting the same positive attention the douchebags are getting?

I've been called a pretty-boy and nobody calls me ugly (I don't THINK I am...) but I get little or no attention either.
OKCupid said my pic was rated one of the highest in polls, yet nobody messages me.

[shrug]

OKCupid is like a buffet for girls. They are gonna be drowning in attention just for being a girl.

As for Aspies and appearance, the most important thing is to mitigate the offputting body language by dressing as well and as sharply as possible. It is a simple matter of survival.

identity
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29 Jun 2012, 4:06 am

Just yesterday someone was teasing me and saying I looked grumpy so I presume I do look rather unapproacheable. Truth was I was very uncomfortable and apprehensive. I really could have done without their comment; although they did apologise later it didn't really do my confidence much good. :roll:

PastFixations
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29 Jun 2012, 6:28 am

I'm called cute... but like BlueMax, no real attention.
However... Everyone else seems to pick up when I am getting some attention but personally I always believe it's a joke just to see what my reaction would be like a.k.a. looking to see no-one actually looking at me and feeling like a fool.

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Nikorvus
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29 Jun 2012, 9:00 am

BlueMax wrote:

I noticed when looking at the profile pictures of those willing to show their actual faces... most people have a blank or downright sour look... that's gotta' be half our problem of approachability right there!

Your thoughts?

That's just my face, man.

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Your Aspie score: 120 of 200
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You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

PastFixations
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29 Jun 2012, 11:37 am

BlueMax wrote:

Some people can be born without being able to smile... Not because they don't feel happy.

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TM
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29 Jun 2012, 11:59 am

Monkeybuttorama wrote:

(I first want to say that in my profile pic, I was unaware I was being photographed, and I was trying not to fall off a hundred plus foot cliff... seriously... ^_^ but I thought it was a really good capture, as anything I smile/pose for looks absolutely stupid/terrible/unflattering in the extreme)

I believe you are correct, as I went through a period when, for some reason, people constantly said things like "why are you so mad?" or "you seem so depressed." (I'm not sure why, it's simply my face..)

It has stopped, but I haven't actually changed anything except my environment; these things were generally said to me at work in customer service jobs, but only when I wasn't doing anything other then look for things needing to be done (I was very good with customer service, for some reason.. maybe because it didn't matter, ultimately, what they thought, and these things were never said by my actual customers), and a random person would come up to me and offer an unsolicited opinion (which was aggravating, because explaining "my face is just relaxed, and thus shows no emotion, currently" generally doesn't go over well with NTs, I've found..)

I haven't figured out what sort of face they want a person to have when they are doing -literally- nothing..

In all fairness, anyone would look mad or depressed in a customer service job.

1000Knives
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29 Jun 2012, 12:38 pm

People see me as insane, I believe.

1000Knives
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29 Jun 2012, 12:40 pm

RICKY5 wrote:

BlueMax wrote:

Kinme wrote:

MXH wrote:

I think that falls under my blanket, but theres also those who have tons of attention and they know they are getting it yet still think theyre ugly/fat/etc.

How can they think that...?

This is true. I noticed once I switched my clothes over to "preppy" clothes people instantly started treating me much better compared to just sorta random clothes (usually plain black tshirts) I normally wore. And the preppy clothes are cheap cheap cheap, at thrift stores. I pay like 50c for preppy brand tshirts, like $3-7 for jeans, etc.

blunnet
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29 Jun 2012, 2:33 pm

Scottinoz wrote:

Who cares what sheeple think ^_^

Not me.

metaldanielle
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30 Jun 2012, 12:36 am

My neutral expression is a scowl. According to my mother, I scowl all the time. She used to tell me that is why no one would approach me. Since I am in pain a lot due to a medical condition, that scowl often turns into a grimace and you couldn't pay most people to talk to me. I also make weird faces sometimes, but I am just stretching my facial muscles, they get tense constantly. Probably because I am always scowling.

BlueMax
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30 Jun 2012, 12:39 am

^^^ pity - the smiling picture is very pretty!

metaldanielle
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30 Jun 2012, 12:49 am

Aww, thanks. You are too kind. That is my camera smile, not a full smile.

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