Female Aspie preferences?

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Last edited by smudge on 10 Jul 2012, 2:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Good one, bravo my dear .

I beg your pardon?

There's really no point, is there?

Last edited by smudge on 11 Jul 2012, 3:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

aSKberger, you seem to be conveniently forgetting about the existence of multitudes of women who DON'T go after politicians and powerful figures. they are in fact a majority. perhaps you are too busy coveting what those men have instead of noticing most people's behaviour. we go about our lives completely separate from those status games.

It depends on the type of women I guess. Will power and money attract women? Some yes, every women out there? No. I don't think you would like it if someone stereotyped you as a man and said "guys only care about looks" or something similar.

Two features I've seemed to notice the most for requirements are confidence and humor. For myself and probably most here, the first isn't too easy to achieve. Plus humor is pretty subjective and can even offend in some cases, which I've found out a number of times in my life.

My guess is that the men on here who make broad generalizations about what women want, have likely had bad experiences in the past which have made them bitter. I can understand, because I used to be bitter about men and dating after having a few bad experiences.

Your point does make sense, but I do think women tend to be more selective with their partners. Biologically, women have far more to lose than men when it comes to choosing a mate. That, combined with the social demand of guys making the first move, makes it a little tougher for us to succeed in the dating world. I think that is part of the frustration for us guys who haven't had much success.

if women are so driven by biology to be as selective as possible, how on earth could that be easier? the logic fails me. i have aggressively pursued the men i want to date, and i do not consider that to be harder than dating it the traditional female way, even though i was rejected very nastily on many occasions. this way i have control over who i get to date. waiting to be pursued and trying vainly to attract the right person sucks.there is no easier/harder. both roles have their difficulties

Drakeman, I understand how being successful in dating could be harder for men, and even more so for aspie men.

I just wish that we could have more progressive conversations on what works and what doesn't, since there are aspie women on this forum who have also had problems dating due to their social difficulties. But instead of uniting to overcome our collective difficulties, these kinds of topics often become a battle of the sexes, with mud slinging on both sides. But we're really all in the same boat here, as aspies trying to make it in an NT-dominated world.

Mind you, I would love to see more topics on aspie women and their problems in dating. I sure have had my fair share. It's no walk in the park on either side.

I'd say humor is a good indicator of compatibility because it's so subjective. A lot of being funny is probably in having a similar sense of humor not being a particularly skilled humorist.

So humor is in general a good quality to have, but it's also really individual and different people find different things funny so it still fits with different women want different things.

colinn - 99 out of 100 women would not date poor guy if you give them better options. 99 out of 100 men would not f**k average looking woman if they should choose. Cruel? Maybe, but that's the world I live in.

hyperlexian - Powerful figures are symbols. I do not literally mean you want politician. But you definitely want the best you could get, don't you?

In every romantic book or movie I have read/saw there is some kind of poor girl and healthy powerful man. Take Pretty woman, Twilight or classical fairy tales about kings and queens. It is archetype burn deeply in our brains.
Yes, we do not marry queens and kings. But thats only because we are not able to. But we all want the best we could possibly get. That means maybe the next door plumber. But come on, how many models date plumbers? And do not say they are not intellectualy compatible
How many 30 years old women would like to run into wilderness and insecurity with someone just because he is funny and make them laugh?

smudge - but you keep joining in. But not in a constructive way as hyperlexian for example. Post an argument. I see it is frustrating, but I would really appreciate something enriching.

women often do have the option of dating richer men, but choose not to. usually they date a few different men before deciding who they are most compatible with. i think that you are failing to understand the basic dynamics of dating.

romantic books and movies do not reflect reality, and the majority of people have no difficulty understanding that so they do not emulate such silliness.

it doesn't matter if you change "politician" to "powerful figure". go and observe an average mixed group of men and women. you will not see all the women gathered around one powerful male, trying to get his attention. reality is nothing like the fantasy you are painting.

Well, let's look at it from this angle... let's say a man and a woman hook up and get it on. During that moment, the girl ends up getting pregnant. Who has the greater burden of responsibility? The man, who can refuse to ever have anything to do with her again, or the woman, who now has to carry the child, raise it, and provide for it? Society rightfully holds them both responsible, but if you peel back the emotional layers and look at this situation strictly from a biological point of view, the woman has far more to lose. This holds true for thousands of other species on the planet, and humans are no exception to the rule. That is why I think females tend to be a little more cautious about who they choose. Guys... not as much.

Now, you're situation is completely different. The above logic only holds true if there is an mutual attraction between the two partners. Otherwise, that scenario never takes place. That is the dilemma of choosing a potential partner that doesn't share a mutual attraction with you. That situation has pretty much defined my dating life and really isn't gender specific.

Kudos to you though for not being afraid to go out there and find what you want. I've always thought the social expectation of guys having to approach girls sucks to be honest. I do think those who tend to be more aggressive have more success simply due to meeting more people. That's just not me though unless I'm impaired somehow.

In terms of LTRs, excluding gay. lesbian and polygamous relationships..
The exact same number of man and women are successful.
If a straight woman is in a healthy happy relationship, so is a straight man.
If a straight woman gets laid, so does a straight man.

So I can see that an argument could be made (not one that I'd agree with, but it could exist) that men put more effort into getting the same rate of success, but not that there are different rates of success.

thanks. i think that given the opportunity and the social freedom (i.e. The Pill and a culture of "free love", women have been demonstrated to become much more promiscuous overall.