my as bf abruptly stopped talking to me! what to do

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Yeah, as long as you weren't stalking him, definitely sounds like a real dick. Adios! On to bigger and better fish!

did you actually read what she wrote? they had a fight, he didn't reject her for her butt size or something.

True that.
Call me jerk but I did the same to my ex bf a few years ago. I just stopped speaking to him and basically ignored him from one day to the next.
I don't know why because he was a real sweet person and I do feel bad about it but I can't change it. We had some arguments at that time mostly because he was caring too much. I felt like he was cornering me constantly asking how I was, what I was doing, that he loved me so much. I cannot take that much affection and I'm also bad at discussing on an emotional level. So stop talking and responding to him was the only way I could think of at that time.
If he ever sent out signs or hints about whatever he was trying to tell me with all that affection and concern, I guess I never understood properly or misinterpreted them totally. Whenever that happens I tend to shut down and hide because I don't know how to discuss with and confront the opposite person. It's a lose-lose situation because no matter what I would still hurt the other person either by being blunt and straightforward or by shutting them out.

i feel like i'm the same way.. getting freaked when they care too much.
sabotaging things.. thats interesting.. more aspie than i realize i guess?? who knows..

That's kind of what happened with the my Aspie ex girlfriend. Not all Aspies are like that because I'm kind of the opposite way which makes it harder for me to find a partner because I'm not compatible with lots of Aspie women & I have problems with NTs because of being blunt/straightforward & my other Aspie issues . Only advice I can think of rite now for you is to be honest & tell the guy what's going on when you want/need space. My ex lied to me about what was going on a couple times & I was extremely hurt when she latter admitted it after the lies had caused me to worry about something else. Things would of went aLOT better & smoother if she would of just been straight up honest with me about wanting space; I would of gave it to her & not worried.

Oh, too late. We did not continue our relationship back then. Ever since I've got all the space I want because I realised that I'm better off without a relationship.

Seems like he just wanted your body, not your mind...

hmm yeah don't think so.. we were very compatible mentally and physically. very in synch.. thats why its such a heartbreak for me..

Its been my experience that once people starts having sex - everything changes and it is not always for the best.
I had a girlfriend once who I liked, I didn't love her - but I liked her.
Then she started pressuring me for sex and was treating me and my home like a hotel.
I finally had to break up with her because I didn't want to be around her anymore because she didn't love me - she was just using me for a place to stay - to get away from her father and her divorce.
It wasn't a sincere relationship because she told me to my face that when someone better comes along she was going to leave me, so I told her don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya and made her leave.
That was 11 years ago and I have not dated anyone since...

All that I am saying is that I didn't think I did anything wrong or that I deserved to be treated like that and I permitted myself to be treated like that because I thought she was ok -but once I got to know her I found out she had a lot of issues.

The other side of the coin, if you really wanted to continue a relationship with him, the best thing you could have done was nothing at all. Silence is golden. As long as you did not call him or bother him - his mind would have been working overtime wondering where you were, who you were with and what you were doing. As long as you kept trying to call him, he knew you were home alone and was thinking of him and that he had you right where he wanted you.

Those emails wouldn't have gone into a black hole. The communication problem is really only one way. I realize that doesn't make it much easier.

I've seen posts like this before and I'm getting the impression that a lot of aspie men don't have good control over their emotions. They may care about someone desperately but just not be able to deal with their feelings.

I don't know what to do.

I had a horrid six months with my Aspie followed by 8 months of zero contact and then he popped back into my life as if no time had passed at all. Typical disappearing guy/needs space/time stuff. My dude just needed to realize what he was missing to return on his best behavior. He still needs alot of downtime and I respect it even though, as an NT, it's lonely and frustrating for me. For now, he's worth suffering "downtime" for but I might be FINALLY getting "over him" in the next few months (after almost 4 years on/off) and trade him in for a guy that can deal with more togetherness (at least 3 times a week instead of once every 10 days or so). it's just too draining to deal with his moodiness and shut outs. i think it's better to be a platonic friend and not a lover so i don't get so hurt all the time but his lack of ability to stay connected ...his yo/yo-ness.

Most importantly, whether we stay lovers or move on to platonic buddies, we have to learn not to take it personally during "recharge" time. Use that time to nurture and recharge yourself as well. It's hard as hell when you adore someone and miss them.

This is an odd thread to bump after months

Didn't realize how old it was. Perhaps threads should be color coded by age.

I've read some more posts and it sounds like this happens quite frequently? How can you let yourselves get attached to people who treat you like that? I don't get it. I've never treated anyone like that and I don't have girls who keep chasing me months on end. What is it with people who are attracted to people who aren't attracted to them? Maybe they keep ignoring you guys because they notice they get better results if they do nothing than if they try to talk. There is an exception to this in my life but in general it seems like the more affectionate I am the less affectionate my potential partner.

There was an aspie girl who quit talking to me once and I tried really hard to get her to talk to me when she first dumped me, and she didn't do it, so I just accepted it and moved on. I said some really mean things when we first separated because I was hurt and confused, but I quit messaging her after the 2cd day after the break up and I was back to normal after about 1 month. I don't get how people can let this s**t happen to them over and over again.