Don't you think that it might be better for you...

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... if you have a relationship with a neurotypical person?


Do you think that having a relationship with another 'Autism Spectrum Type' might help you?

What are the chances that your differences would be the same?


Then again, what are the chances you might find someone that would understand you on the 'normal' spectrum?

Just curious what you think.

I think finding a NT person that I understand and understands me would be very hard. Explaining things is not really my strong suit and to have to explain why I couldn't do this, why I need to be alone etc could be tricky. But with the elusive "right" person it could work.

On the other hand; I really don't know how realtionships between two people on the spectrum works out. I imagine it could work well if the two had similar interests and personality.

I think you are right.
It might just work.

I think two 'Asd' people might rub each other the wrong way.

But humans are complex.

I think it might be just as easy to find a NT type that you could get along with very well.


Btw, do you mind me asking? Are you male/female? If that is not too rude of me?

Since you've asked (& the Lab Pet is female), my reply is entirely subjective. Or rather physiological, I guess.
I am physically attracted to male neurotypicals. I do have a type. I cannot change this, nor would I wish to. It is that way.

To explain, I certainly have a rapport with Aspies - Wrong Planet Aspies are my friends. But for me, they are like brother/sister friends! It wouldn't be conceivable for me to mate with one, in so far as I know. I like older men and, for inexplicable reason(s), I like them uber neurotypical. Opposites attract? Well, maybe. But I do like those men with interests close to my own.

For myself, an Aspie partner might have incestuous overtones.

Oh, at the risk of TMI, I think I might have relationships with NT males in a kind-of Tesla way. That is, I'm not sure I'd want them permanently and pervasively, but instead in the background. Like a older male mentor-partner. I like that.

I'm sorry, and I am probably being really dense and rude here, but are your male LabPet?

It matters not a jot to me.

But l like to get a handle.

I hope you don't mind me asking, but tell me to shut up if you do.
I won't take offense.

x

I think it might work either way. Simply, being on the spectrum narrows the candidates for a LTR. We could find a match on either side of the spectrum, but there are going to be a select few on either side of the fence that fit our individual idiosyncrasies.

Hence, we're required to have significantly more bravery, resilience, and perseverance than the average human when looking for a mate. We have to be strong. And if we're not strong, then we have to become strong. Above, all else, we have to stay positive.

Persevere, my friend.

Like any thing elts in a relationship two very different people can work other times two very similar people can work. There are no hard and fast rules to human relation ships just vague generalities.

young_god (interesting username, btw), why are you asking us? Very fishy post. If it (quote) "matters not a jot" to you, then why are you asking us if we are m. or f? Instead of participating, you're just asking weird questions.

I refuse to date aspie men. Every single one I've met we're more low functioning than me and completely blind to other people's feelings. I know a woman who's husband is an aspie and like all the women I know who are in a couple with a male aspie, she is a very unhappy person. When she cries, all he says is: "there is water coming out of your eyes, but I don't know why"
I'm very sensitive with depressive tendencies and being with someone so blind to my feelings would be the end of me.
An aspie man dating an aspie woman imo is like the blind leading the blind.

The relationship that worked best for me was one in which he wasn't NT, but he wasn't aspie either, he was BAP.

Since you are asking for gender, I am a girl, by the way.

However, I am not sure how much of us getting on well was due to the neuro aspect. It had a lot to do with his personality, but for whatever reason, we were able to connect really well.

For me, taking personality into account is easier than doing it by whether they are NT or not. Although most of those I get on well enough with to want to date in the first place end up being BAP or aspie. I honestly haven't worked out how it all fits together so far.

This post doesn't make much sense right now, please excuse the convoluted nature of this post - it was an attempt to sort out my thoughts as much as it was to answer the OP.

I don't know. Your question is worded in a way that implies this experience has never been had.
I have gone out with plenty of city NT girls, I can tell you that it doesn't work for me, especially when from the UK or US.
There are a lot of expectations, lack of compromises and understanding on their part about men (expecting each to be the same, then complaining when they are not). This is more true with an Asperger's male. Some problems I have found:
*They think physical intimacy must lead to sex and think there is a problem with your anatomy or her if you do not want to "go there" simply for want of some minor physical intimacy.
*I've been expected to read minds. I've had varying success at this.
*An expectation of me to keep up with the guys their friends are dating.
*Lifestyle choices wishes of me that are out of my comfort zone or long term capability.
*And any that have accepted me regardless of the above have been as thick as 2 sheets of wood.

It's not without trying. And there is nothing particularly wrong with their expectations, if you were an NT city boy. But for all intents and purposes I'm an Aspie in the city and with that realization I am now tired of trying to play the NT game. I'm happier being single or waiting it out for someone who on a personal level can relate to me better.

For me personally, my only fulfilling relationship was with another Aspie. I have not had luck with NTs and right now don't really want to try with an NT ever again. This way of thinking only came from my experience, not a preconceived bias. I recognize that different things work for different people and would neverr discourage another Aspie from dating a NT individual they liked.

G.

for me, it doesn't matter about the person's neurology to any degree like that. people are all over the map with their issues and strengths, whether they are NT or AS or other.