getting a gf and making friends is impossible

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to all of those who say I'm good at holding convos I suppose im alright lol. I think im good at STARTING thmm
I just got back from the supermarket, and i noticed that hagan dahz ice cream was on sale..I took one quick glance and noticed my flavor was not there, however I noticed the beautiful backside of a beautiful woman searching for her flavor in the freezer. She was prob in her mid 30s but looked and smelled good lol. I thought it would be a good opportunity to practice socializing lol...and we talked for a good 5 mins lol.
depressing to know she went home and did more than talking with her husband lol.(id assume she was married)

There are a lot of very neurotypical people who struggle to make friends and find partners. It's hard to talk to people during day-to-day life. It's harder to find those same people and talk a second time. Our society just doesn't foster people getting to know other people.

Add aspergers to that, and it can be a real challenge (even moreso if one of your symptoms is prosopagnosia).

I'm not one to back down from a challenge. I think my obsessive nature has helped a little with that. You'll meet people in the strangest places. Go to a coffee shop every day for six months, you might come out of it with one friend who you randomly met in line. It gets easier after a couple of years, but you really just have to put a monumental effort into it.

Most of all, I focus on work (at least 12 hours a day). It's physical in my case, but otherwise, be sure to do some strenuous exercise at least two or three times a week. If you can't find a job, volunteer. Put everything you can into it, and you'll be amazed what you can accomplish. It can also be a great way to meet people.

Find a church. Get an okcupid account.

You can do it. I figure my life is a work in progress, but I'm considerably more successful than most of the neurotypicals that I know, and there's no reason why you can't be.

And get over the trying to get laid or a first kiss thing. If you're obsessed with it, it'll show through and creep girls out. Hook up with somebody if you have to (use protection), but get it the f**k out of your system and move on to actually getting to know somebody else.

Everybody is awkward the first dozen times asking a girl out. Lots of neurotypical guys are single virgins for life and never get the nerve to do it. You'll be embarrassed plenty of times.

The thing that really turned me around was getting into very close relationships with a few people, watching how they reacted to my behavior, how they conversed, and just talking to them about their thoughts and perspectives for hours. That's what socialization is. The typical person with aspergers is just trying to accomplish this fifteen years later than everybody else.

ive tried okcupid and pof it was a waste of time and effort
i can't hook up with anyone, noone wants me..i would hook up witha hot girl if she wanted to im def not opposed to casual sex
as far as going to a coffee shop and meeting people on line, this is whuy i started the thread. I feel like evevn if i do have successful convos with strangers, it's impossible to ask a stranger to be your friend. Noone is going to a coffee place looking for friends,.

Volunteer somewhere. Join a community garden. Take lessons on something with your park district. I'm talking about putting in a couple months at several different places to get a few people who know you.

Be patient, focus on something else, and sometimes things just happen. But get out there. Be typing this from someplace around people. Always be around people. Eventually you'll meet a few of them.

You don't go to the gym and become fit overnight. People want instant results, but socialization takes years for normal people to accomplish. Expect to devote most of your time to it in some capacity for a couple years.

maybe. I notice when i tried to have jobs i never fit in,so i don't see why volunteering would be different. maybe they will be nicer and more sympathetic but not truly like me.

Im decent at socializing in my opinion but itseems it's not good enough to gain lasting relationships.

Well sadly enough that is something which you will have to contend with. But just think of it like this: you will never see her again so even if you do come across as clumsy or an ass if you're unfortunate it wouldn't matter at all. The only thing that matters is that you saw a chance and seized it.

Next time just try it, it'll probably end up going quite well.

It's only impossible because you're making up a bunch of crap in your head that's preventing you from taking action.

Maybe you can't get a girlfriend because you act like a selfish, shallow, pig?

Ever thought about dating a girl who isn't a supermodel?
Or not dating for the sole purpose of sexual activity?
Or not staring at women's asses in the supermarket?

I read this thing called Double your dating by david deangelo...it gave me a real confidence boost because it codified and gave me a structure for how to go about getting numbers/calling people etc. It was great even if I don't agree with the principles behind it always it was a great starting point to learn how to start to engage with women.

if you are so successful how come you are 24 and a virgin? If what you said about me is true it is not the reason Im not getting laid. as*holes all over the globe are getting poon every second of every day

I am a little shallow but hey a relationship is a two way street. I dont ask for a girl to be a model but I have to be attracted to her, ad she has to be at a minimum cute physically. Personality doesn't do it for me.

Nothing wrong with casual sex relationships however if all I wanted was sex I would hire some filthy prostitute. I mainly ust want to kiss already but it's the meaning behind the kiss that is important. It will show me that I a capable of being desired. Ina sense I am dating for my own self esteem boost..may be a selfish reason but it's understandable when all your schoolmates called you ugly 24/7 and your results with women suggest they were not lying or fabricating.

You took my post about the ice cream girl wayyy too out of context. Sure i looked at her ass, but 99 percent of the time was spent trying to help her find a flavor she wanted.

went to the shore today so much beautiful ass to stare at it was depressing..looking at hot girls and looking at porn ust saddens me now...gets me hard but depresses me

The difference is those as*holes also know how to play people. You don't.
You only helped the woman because you liked her ass and the only thing you left feeling was jealous that an imaginary man was going to f**k her latter.
Wanting only sex or not, sex is top of your priorities and women pick up on that.
So put sex to the side or find a hooker and get it over with.
No girl or few girls interested in a real relationship are going to appreciate feeling like your judging her like a piece of meat or your passive aggressive comments about your lack of sex.
In my opinion.


I'm a virgin at 24 because I can't pick up when girls flirt, don't have any money, don't leave my house, don't do anything.
I've had a few chances but by the time I realize that it's to late.
For the last 4 years I have not been dateable. I have been self destructive, depressed and shut in my apartment.
It is unfair for me to expect anyone to deal with that and therefore I haven't even been looking for the most part.
If I was horribly, horribly obsessed with getting laid, I would lose 50+ pounds, comb my hair back and go find a drunk chick at the local bar.
But I'm not and I don't really have an interest in casual sex, my hand does the job just fine in the meantime and its a lot safer.
If I get my life inline, myself inline and start doing things I'm sure I will find plenty of women willing to break my heart.


By the way, a relationship is not a two way street for us, it's a street and a half.
We have to try and work and fight to get one let alone keep one. They just have to like us enough to put up with us.