to men who lost their virginity

Post Reply New Topic

was it by luck? Mine was. Im one the very rare men that had a attractive (I found her attractive) women come to me and
basically asked me out. And pretty much ask me if I want to have sex with her. So if wasn't for her, Im most likely still be a virgin.
Unless society changes I doubt I ever will have sex ever again. ( I don't make enough money for a good escort.)

Drunken luck and there was nothing special about it. I wasn't very attractive at the time (on the scale of how ugly/ok looking I've been over the years) and it was down to being the more confident one of the group after some liquid courage. And to Aspie guys clinging to the myth it will change your life? It rarely does. If you're a strange, socially awkward, incoherent uncharming Aspie before sex, you will be exactly the same a couple of days after and will just have to wait your turn again. At best it will change your outlook after a couple of times.

This.

Allthough you're less likely to be shunned by women for being inexperienced or being treated like someone with leprosy by society because you're a virgin. Loosing your virginity might also inspire you to make changes in your life.

I was desperate, she was lonely, and the winter holidays were upon us. We had our first kiss at midnight on New Year's Eve, our first coital consummation about ten minutes later, and our first breakfast together about eight hours after that.

so she initiated, made the first move? lucky you

This is so true. I'm female, but I don't think that makes that much difference. Having sex has never made me happier, or changed me in any way. It did not mean that establishing the kind of relationships I wanted came about more easily.

Even if you feel burdened by the stigma of being a virgin: 1. No one is going to know the difference: if you have sex, you can't exactly go around telling everyone about it anyway. You might tell a few friends, but they're not going to change their opinion of you.

2. The stigma will not go away. If you're susceptible to the pressure that you should be getting laid all the time, the pressure to have a "healthy" (i.e. regular) sex life, or the pressure to be in a relationship, then that pressure is still going to be there when you are not a virgin. Unless you are able to consistently establish the kind of relationship(s) you want, and are happy with the person you are, you'll still have problems. Focusing on losing your virginity in and of itself is missing the big picture.

I agree with Januaryman, the best thing about losing it was realizing how big a deal it isn't.

I told my girl it was good that she was so blunt and asked to sleep with me straight up because I still wouldn't have clued in. I enjoy it but I have to agree that its not THAT big of a deal. I'm much more relaxed but only because I let it worry me so much. I honestly don't see why men are so obsessed about it. It's fun but I have thoughts away from it quite easily.

Agreed

I lost my virginity to an escort, when I was 22. (She was 27.) I scheduled a meeting with her though an agency two days in advance, then spoke to the agent on the day of, to get directions to her hotel. Then went to her room, and did the deed. Afterwards, I felt really giddy and lightheaded, and had to rest for nearly 20 minutes after before I calmed down enough to drive. I called my friend, and we met in a dive bar nearby, to celebrate my loss of the V-card.

It didn't that a much of difference on me, but it demystified sex by a vast margin. Instead of being a forbidden fruit that might be never allowed to have, it became just two (or more ) naked bodied getting hot and sweaty on a bed.

It feels good for a reason and autistic as well as NT people like to feel good-and it is a totally natural thing to do that feels good and people that have had sex it still felt good and those that havent want to feel that way too and it seems that those that have had sex tell those that havent that its no big deal but lots of people still do it and think about doing it when they arent doing it or contemplating stopping having sex and trying to make those of us who for one reason or another-(socialization,looks,etc etc) arent having sex but want to because it is a totally natural want,drive,desire to do it. Everyone whether NT or on the autism spectrum are human and of different sexual orientations and sex drives and what they want from a sexual experience or what they do not want from a sexual experience.

Last edited by Radiofixr on 29 Oct 2012, 11:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

interesting to know

I lost it about 3 years ago in a FWB situation. It was one of the greatest experiences ever.

I lost mine when I was 17 to my ex who was 18 I knew her for like 2 years though.Most other times its luck when it comes to sex.

The whole not big deal I guess depends on your views to it before hand. For me I had opportunities before but just wasnt very comfortable with hooking up. Its not i didnt want to, I just didnt feel it well. I had it as something that i wanted to do just to get over with. Afterwards I noticed I had undervalued it. Its been much better than i expected.

Sex is more of a big deal to some people than it is to others, so just because someone says it's not made that much of a difference to them doesn't mean they're not being truthful.

Even if sex is very important to you it's still the case that losing your virginity is not going to solve your problems. If sex is something you prioritise that highly then doing it once isn't going to be enough. So I'd still say focusing on being a virgin or not is not the issue. Virginity is more likely to matter if your concern is with making sure you stay a virgin. If your religion or culture means it is important for you not to have sex (or not to have sex outside marriage), then once makes a difference. If you have a high desire for sex and are upset that you're unable to get it, then that's not likely to change even if you manage to have sex once - it's not going to change you so radically that you're able to get as many sex partners as you wish afterwards if you were not able to before.