Virgins over 30

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Withdrawal
Raven
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01 Nov 2012, 3:49 pm

CrazyStarlightRedux wrote:

Stargazer43 wrote:

Good for you! I find it kind of surprising how many people in this thread are in support of paying for sex, I personally think that's a terrible idea. For one lets say you eventually do get into a relationship. Do you think a woman would prefer a virgin or someone who hired a prostitute to take their virginity? I'm pretty sure the vast majority would say the former

. I notice that a lot of people put a huge weight on losing their virginity, but honestly I don't think it's that big of a deal.

At the same time, would men rather have a woman who's a virgin or one who's slept around?

It goes both ways.

Those who are against prostitution, did you know that it's the oldest profession in the world AND Jesus married a Prostitute?

And that makes it ok how? You can't just ignore the dangers and problems of prostitution. It's not fair on the women (and sometimes men) involved. They shouldn't have to suffer just so someone can shed the stigma of being a virgin. Better to be a virgin and still have some morals and respect for other people - and dignity for yourself.

WantToHaveALife
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01 Nov 2012, 4:08 pm

Adam82 wrote:

WantToHaveALife wrote:

just hate having to be the initiator, because whoever is the initiator can accidentally come across as desperate, and it's very hard to not come across as desperate

Yeah, it is hard to not come across as desperate if you have no or little relationship experience, and don't know what the hell you're doing.

yeah it's very extremely hard to not be desperate when you have little or not dating/relationship or sexual experience, because you want to get the experience too, and not just because of peer pressure, c'mon, we guys are human too, we instinctinvely crave, want oppossite-sex companionship too, seriously, i hate, despise, loathe on how desperate, needy, clingy guys are criticized way more than desperate, needy, clingy girls are

Adam82
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01 Nov 2012, 4:52 pm

Really? Most women will NOT consider an adult virgin? They're that strict on the matter?

Adam82
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01 Nov 2012, 5:57 pm

I'm in trouble, then. It goes far deeper than that. Not only am I a virgin, I've never kissed or even held hands with a girl. At an age when most guys are getting married.

Dan_Vincze
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 11 Sep 2012
Age: 41
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Posts: 57

01 Nov 2012, 7:19 pm

Adam82 wrote:

Really? Most women will NOT consider an adult virgin? They're that strict on the matter?

Yes of course.
In fact, when women go to the washroom in groups, as they're known to do, they go there not to relieve themselves as might you or I (for as you know, girls excrete nought but rainbows and rose petals), but to debate that perennial question: "If forced to choose, would I rather sleep with a man still virgin, or one who lost his virginity to a prostitute?"
Seriously though, stop beating yourself up over this. Yes, s**t happens and you've been saddled with more than your fair share of it, but complaining about the situation without doing anything to change it isn't helping anyone.
I don't know what else to say, but this is something you should work on face-to face. The internet can't coach you on dating skills. Is there anyone in your area you can ask for help?

Kurgan
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01 Nov 2012, 7:31 pm

Adam82 wrote:

I'm in trouble, then. It goes far deeper than that. Not only am I a virgin, I've never kissed or even held hands with a girl. At an age when most guys are getting married.

Here's what you do: When you finally meet a woman who wants to have sex with you, NEVER tell her this. Pretend that you've had a normal sex life and if you must, lie (eg. say that you lost yor virginity at 17, your longest relationship was five years and that you've had eight sex partners in total). That way she doesn't have to know until you're in bed with her.

If you decide to actually sleep with a hooker, never tell this to a woman. You might also want to do some research; sleeping with an escort who actually likes her job isn't morally despicable (allthough I would never do so myself), sleeping with a Thai woman held in the iron grip of a pimp is.

Garnet
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01 Nov 2012, 10:41 pm

Stargazer43 wrote:

Adam82 wrote:

If everyone else gets someone to love them, the normal way, WTF should I have to pay? No, I don't think I'll be considering that route.

. I notice that a lot of people put a huge weight on losing their virginity, but honestly I don't think it's that big of a deal.

I'm an NT and I'm in my 30's. I would be okay with dating a guy who was a virgin, but not a guy who went to prostitutes. I wouldn't date someone who went to prostitutes - that would be a deal breaker!

1000Knives
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01 Nov 2012, 10:49 pm

wtfid2 wrote:

Adam82 wrote:

WantToHaveALife wrote:

Jono wrote:

Adam82 wrote:

I surely can't be the only one on here. If so, that makes me feel pretty bad. I've never had a girlfriend. I would like one, but it's really pushing it if you're an Aspie virgin over 30 years of age.

You're not the only one. Actually, it's quite common for aspie males to not even date until much later. I'm currently 32 and I only started dating a year ago, though it work out with that person.

at the time, i met a 35 or 36 year old guy who was still a virgin, never dated, if i were him, i would have gone to a hooker, escort ages ago, also, i probably would have killed myself a long time ago too

I'm 30, but still not interested really in the escort option. I'd rather have someone want me for me. But since this person hasn't shown up, in 30 years, I'm really losing hope.

im 23 and know what you mean man..plus i am disgusted enough knowing that any potential gf has had a bf before..no way would f**k a girl who had a dick in her 5 minutes prior.

Lol, the only way it's possible to prevent other guys dicks from entering a potential girl is for people to not have sex before marriage. So be disgusted all you want, but this is what people get from the "hook up" and "free love" culture. The only girls you're likely to find that haven't been with a guy before are like nuns or something, seriously.

Also, there's a double standard. You're obviously wanting sex before marriage, but it's bad if the girl does it, and she's a slut or whatever? Whatever, man.

I mean I honestly get where you're coming from and all, but it doesn't seem like you're likely to keep up your end of the bargain of purity and chastity. Plus, besides the fact that likely 99% of the people you meet will not be virgins, you're not being very forgiving of others either. And, judging from you posting "OH NO I'M A VIRGIN!! !" type things, you seem to want to get laid before marriage.

Adam82
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01 Nov 2012, 11:03 pm

Garnet wrote:

Stargazer43 wrote:

Adam82 wrote:

If everyone else gets someone to love them, the normal way, WTF should I have to pay? No, I don't think I'll be considering that route.

. I notice that a lot of people put a huge weight on losing their virginity, but honestly I don't think it's that big of a deal.

I'm glad to hear it, glad to hear there's people like you out there. I suspect you're a rarity though, a lot of girls probably wouldn't put up with an adult male virgin. Even if he is Aspie.

WantToHaveALife
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02 Nov 2012, 3:39 pm

Adam82 wrote:

Really? Most women will NOT consider an adult virgin? They're that strict on the matter?

yeah unfortuneately not

Adam82
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02 Nov 2012, 5:45 pm

Well...that sucks then.

Surely they'd think a guy with no experience would be less liable to cheating.

I kind of waited for the right person, when I was younger, and at college. Problem is, the right person never showed up, and now here I am , at 30, with no experience.

Oh well. If it happens it happens. Gotta keep going on with life.

Kurgan
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02 Nov 2012, 6:08 pm

If I had waited for the right person, I'd still be a virgin as well.

dorfin
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Joined: 13 Mar 2012
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03 Nov 2012, 6:34 pm

Garnet wrote:

Stargazer43 wrote:

Adam82 wrote:

If everyone else gets someone to love them, the normal way, WTF should I have to pay? No, I don't think I'll be considering that route.

. I notice that a lot of people put a huge weight on losing their virginity, but honestly I don't think it's that big of a deal.

I would also be ok with dating a guy that was a virgin, so maybe it is not so rare as you think. Maybe no one is actually asking the women what they think for real and just guessing at what they don't want instead?

Would also agree that guy who used prostitutes would be a big no way for me

Kurgan wrote:

I would also not want to date any guy that lied to me about their previous sex life or that they had used prostitutes.

Adam82
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03 Nov 2012, 7:01 pm

Honesty is the best policy. I agree. If she has a problem with me not being with anyone before, then she isn't right for me anyway.

I don't usually disclose my AS diagnosis to anyone, either, unless I know them really well. If they have a problem with that, similarly, they aren't worth bothering with.

Kurgan
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03 Nov 2012, 7:29 pm

If you do what you always do, then you get what you always get.

WantToHaveALife
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03 Nov 2012, 9:01 pm

Adam82 wrote:

yeah they expect men to be dominant unfortuneately

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