Aspergers & Love

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BIG NEWS!

The flowers were delivered and her parents asked about me and she told them. Her mom said she is old enough to make her own decisions, so ...

Her: "It just made things better."
Me: "How?"
Her: "Me and my mom talked about it and she is ok with it as long as you were a good guy. She said I'm an adult and can hang out with you. She asked if you asked me out on a date and said yes. "
Me: "That's great!"
Her: "Now what do you want to do now that I am ok about with my parents? Maybe we can spend some alone time at your place."
Me: "That would be nice."
Her: "I would love that."

So, looks we'll officially be a couple. I plan to meet her parents soon (my choice).

That is fantastic about her parents! I am glad it was more her worry than them being overprotective. All parents just want a good person for their kid and it sounds like that is all they want for her. And that was very bold of her asking to hang out at your place. Why do I have the feeling you will be putting some of the information from you other post to good use sooner rather than later

Hee. Hee. I know EXACTLY what you mean.

We'll see.

f**k gender roles!

We've been holding hands everyday and plan to go out this weekend on a real date. Tonight she really opened up to me ...

Her: I never want to lose you ever and I also love you more then I have loved anyone.
Me: I love you too.
Her: I wish we have found each other sooner then this. No one has taken this much time and energy to understand me.
Me: I'm interested and I'll never stop loving you.
Her: I never felt this way about anyone untill I met you.
Me: I want you to be loved. I think you're perfect.
Her: I have always want to have someone that loved me because I thought I would never find someone.
Me: I want to give you the life you never had. When did you fall in love with me?
Her: When I finally understood how much you cared about me and would do anything to protect me.
Me: I'm not afraid to tell you that I love you. I just wanted you to say it first so I wouldn't scare you.
Her: Thanks for doing that for me.
Me: I wish I could hold you right now.
Her: Me too. I really want to hold you more then anything right now. I love you. Can't wait to see you.

Hee hee... I tell my bf he is perfect too. He just doesn't get how very much I mean it!,"you are MY perfection" "you are my perfect Prince" we had some people over for Halloween and my 13 year olds girlfriend and her mom came. She didn't like her daughter dating my sob at first because "he is weird and dark and I just don't like him" ( his gf texted that to him is how I know) she let the go out a few times anyway... And she asked me a lot of questions which I gladly answered. I HATE it when people look at him and make those judgements. I get how he looks scary but he is the sweetest boy ever. So she came in and wanted to see his room and his art and was looking at an amazing photo shoot ny bf did with him (no smiles) then she started asking my bf and I a lot of questions. How we met etc. She asked when we knew the other person was "the one" I said by the end of our first date (lunch that ended up lasting 6 hours) she asked him if it was the same for him. He said... Well... Yeah.. but he said it like he didn't mean it even tgough i kbew it was the same day. Then he said. I fell in Love with her by the end of our 6 hour lunch but our first date wasn't until the end of that week. Which made me melt because he wanted our first date to include something romantic and our first kiss so we agreed that we were just meeting for the first time that lunch and our first date was Friday.

That's an awesome story. Stuff like that gives me hope. Bonus points for falling in love on the first date, I don't believe in love at first sight but I'm open to being wrong (I feel a connection/comfort when I first meet somebody I eventually fall in love with, don't know if that counts or not lol). I wonder if all of us are hyper-romantic types when approaching dating.

I never did either. And when we met I was still crazy about my ex and hadnt really quit seeing him after I broke up with him. Once I met my bf I just knew he was it. It was not a physical thing. It is something I can't explain. It took time to build that deep connection but I just knew. It did take me a little longer to put away my feelings for ny ex, but I never went out with him again after I met my bf (by going out I mean.. no going out and no fooling around). Things have not always been easy. I got pregnant just a few months later and we both got laid off... But I actually shared this with him the other day when I was telling him how vulnerable I am with him. I have never been with anyone and not thought... The next guy won't do this or won't be like that... There was always going to be a next guy. I loved the person i was in a relationship with but I always just knew it was for a time. Including my ex husband even on the day we married. I never just left guys. They always did something... Cheat, verbally abusive etc... But I told him that even on our worst days I have never thought "the next guy" and when there were times I though there was just no way we could work through things the thought if not being with him made me physically ill. It is scary to allow someone that far in to your heart. (He never did anything awful to me . No cheating or abuse... I just didn't know about the AS and misread and reacted poorly to some things) so love at first sight isn't necessarily like a movie. It is more an inner knowledge that this is your meant to be.

This thread is so cute! She sounds very lucky to have you, Colton. I wish someone would treat me like I was that special.

Don't give up hope!

She never thought she would find someone who would love her and care for her, but there ARE nice guys out there who are looking.

It wasn't love at first sight for us either. I've known her for years, but never knew she had AS. Just thought she was super shy and reclusive. I would walk past her and say "hello" and she would say "hello" back, but we never engaged into a conversation. I always thought she was pretty -- just didn't think she was interested in me, so I just didn't think about pursuing her.

She eventually gave me a $20 gift card out of the blue and I followed up with several gifts to her. I would say I spent over $350 dollars on her in 2 months. She never saw this as me being interested for some reason (I asked her). I always thought Aspies had a problem with gift-giving? I even wrote her notes saying I'm interested and she told me she just didn't read it that way. Go figure! So, with Aspies, NT's got to basically be blunt and direct. No insinuations or hints are going to soak through. So, I became her best friend and now we are dating and she is super serious about me (and I am with her). I can tell she is a different person now ... she is paying more attention to her appearance. I think our dating is giving her a morale boost that she has never had in her life.

I really love my Aspie. I'm going to take good care of her.

and i hate how men have to love themselves while being single far more importantly than the other way around

Interesting. Why would she just give you a gift voucher like that? Was she trying to get rid of it? And yes, I hate gift-giving when I haven't known the person for very long. Perhaps it's better because she trusts you. Who knows?

I agree about being blunt...but wow, I would've got it if I was told someone was interested in me and bought me lots of gifts! I guess hint-taking varies for different aspies. For me it's obvious when someone fancies me, but it's really, really hard to decipher if someone wants to be friends with me.

I don't think I will be dating another aspie man.