NT crushing hard on a guy who might be an aspie

Post Reply New Topic

i hate those people who say that

Not to mention they are usually with someone when they say it too.

just so god damn jealous!

This makes me so sad that people are so judgemental and mean that toy can't find joy and happiness with someone else .. I hope you all do find your someone special. I for one love the Aspie traits. I am not perfect. I am emotional and feel things deeply and from time to time I just need it to be excepted if not understood strangly it is the AS guy who accepts this the most. I want for each of you what is so rare and I am truly grateful for

i hate my life

why do you hate your life?

because i'm not that social, don't have much of a social circle so therefore not that outgoing

I wish I had an NT crushing real hard on me. If I did I would say yes and if she is good to me I would stay by her side and maybe eventually get married and give her aspie babies.

awww.... Aspie babies that is seriously sweet! I don't think my Aspie guy gave me an Aspie baby, but my son is my Aspie baby and truly an awesome kid!!

what kind of things do you like to do? when I met my boyfriend he said he didn't have many friends. He did well when we went out with my friends. He holds a conversation just fine it is little things that he misses. Like when people come over it doesn't occur to him to speak when they come in the house or when they leave but once they start talking everything is fine. I just make it a point to start talking to them right away and include him in the conversation so it is not noticeable. There are some things I just don't feel is necessary to point out. If he has to think about every little thing it may make social situations more uncomfortable. He had always been a really good photographer, videographer and editor. Once I suggested he start considering it as a career option and he started living and breathing it he started getting to know people in the indi film industry and I would say appears very social. Being an art driven community they are all a little quirky by nature so the small things don't stand out to them so much. They all love him for his talent, he is calm and explains things well when things are not going how the director wants them to, and he truly is such a nice guy. That is all they see. So he can be himself AND have friends and a social life. Is there something you enjoy doing that you could find a group of like minded people to get to know? I think there are a number of things that NT's have told Aspies about themselves and the Apsies believe it when it just flat isn't true. So many seemed to be convinced "I am not social" and then turn around and say "I really want a social life" "I crave friendships and conversations" It is made worse when NT's cruely point out social "mistakes" in front of the crowd and humiliate the Aspie. My bf ex wife use to rip him apart in front of people and set him up on "man dates" to force him to try to make the friends she wanted him to have. He really did think he was no good socially. He does just fine. As long as you are not picking your nose lol... seriously though.. don't over think it. The biggest thing to be aware of is when you have gone on too long in a conversation. I know sometimes he gets so into his topic he starts using terms that are difficult for the average person to grasp and he keeps going. He has learned a few of the more obvious social cues, and if he gets someone that is just too polite to allow those cues to be obvious I will just touch his arm in a way that he knows to wrap it up but doesn't stand out to the other person as anything other than a girl being affectionate with her boyfriend. It also helps if I can make eye contact and smile at him. when he stops to respond it gives him another cue to wrap up if he has gone on to long. Again, this is a subtle cue for him. I smile at him often but he does understand my "different" smiles. Is there anyone who can help you a little until you are comfortable? I really do think that many of the "social issues" Aspies face is due to incorrect communication by NT's. Just be who you are quirky and all and just keep the big things in mind. If someone doesn't like you as you are then move on. There are people who will find you charming and entertaining (in a kind way, not making fun of you). My most enjoyable conversations are when my son and bf get into conversations. It is the only time I notice they have slightly different inflections than NT's but they "click" with each other and it is all I can do not to giggle because half the time a 13 year old and 44 year old are completely understanding each other and I am the one who is lost. They are "normal" to each other and I am the one that is "different" An orange tree in an apple orchard is out of place but with other orange trees it is just average

I will second Lori's awwww. That is very sweet. I do hope she finds you.



Amen to that. Tony Attwood said that aspies need partners who are "compassionate,mature and maternal." Makes sense to me.

Do you see yourself in that description? Lol. I do! I am starting to think the guy i dated before my bf was Aspie too. I haven't had time to really evaluate that but it would explain A LOT! I adored him and had so much fun.. but he and my son were not a good fit. But the maternal thing reminded me he use to call me mommy... Not in a Pervy way. It was meant as a compliment when I would do something really sweet but kinda maternal. He said I was the only person who never tried to change him and knew how to handle him.

Yes, I do. Very much so. I have two sons, both of whom are grown. (Well the youngest is 16, so pretty much grown.) That may be why I'm drawn to this guy at gym? Not sure but I feel protective toward him, as well as attracted to him.



Very cool. I can picture that.

I tend to be shy at first in person and have my moments of being hyper and the awkwardness of this guy![youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NLyur_NFDE&feature=related[/youtube]I even walk like him I sit like him whenever I ride the city bus too I also love sweets![youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eOWjlOsbew&feature=related[/youtube]

thats unfortuneate because the hobbies limit me a lot from the social world sadly

are your hobbies