Obsessed With Finding Someone?

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I gave up on initiating. Which strangely enough makes me a creep to women also.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

sometimes it makes me wish the world would get nuked for being cruel, unfair like this

As cliche as it's become to say this, I still hold some value in the statement "Don't give up hope."

I once met a European girl that I really felt we both had a mutual connection, but I never asked her out because she was going back to Europe at the end of the semester.

She was possibly the most attractive (inside and out) and genuine person I ever met. She used to sit with the unpopular kids because, as she said it, they were the real people.

I know that if I, "creepy" as I am, had sparks of chemistry with a girl like that, there's hope for me.

To be honest, I still miss her. And it's been almost 3 years. I would have asked her out or something if I knew she'd stay. ARGH.

makes me wish i can beat up, fight a girl's boyfriend out of jealousy, anger

I don't know about myself; I am now on the wrong side of 25, and am thinking that my bad social skills will prevent me from ever having a woman.

I've never understood that as well even though I've been told it a million times. What really annoyed me the most about online dating was the opposite: how 90% of the girls profiles would mention over and over how independent, content and happy they are and how they have a large number of friends. I usually want to shout "then why the $@%^ are you seeking guys on a dating site?" It's further ironic how girls want you to do the initiating but if you do it you are either creepy, 'desperate' or if you aren't aggressive enough a friend only.

and it's very hard to be aggressive, assertive without crossing the line that will make you come across as desperate, creepy, needy, etc.

Are you lonely?
Yes, desperately so.

Do you constantly think about being with someone?
If there's someone I fancy then yes. If there's no-one on the scene at the time, it's more like constantly thinking about how I wouldn't know how to be with someone and I constantly think about how it can never happen.

Do you sometimes go out of your way to find people like you?
I don't know how or where I would even start. I've only met two people in my entire life that are like me. One didn't want a partner full-stop and the other led me to believe he liked me then took off with someone else. Very recently too.

Do you think, that when you find someone you fancy, or if they are similar to you, you automatically think that they cold be the one?
Yes. Even when, looking back, it was obvious from day one that we'd never be a match. At the time I thought it was the real thing.

You can't help but wonder, do you stand a chance with them?
Yes, despite all evidence to the contrary!

You really want to talk to and get to know someone, that has a lot in common with you or captures your interests, but you're insecure and afraid of being hurt/rejected?
Yes - I clam up around men I really like, find it near impossible to speak to or even look at them, blush a lot, and probably look even colder than I usually do. Then wonder why they aren't interested in me!

Does it bother you when you see someone of your interest with a boy/girlfriend?
Yes. The one I recently liked, I've had to leave a group I really enjoyed, as either both of them were there all over each other in front of me, or he'd be on his own and talk about nothing but her, or the others in the group would be cooing over how wonderful it was to see him so loved-up as he'd never had a girlfriend and was desperate to find one. (See, even a desperate man won't go near me, that shows me how worthless I am.) I had no choice to leave that group, which comprised my entire social life, as it felt like being sliced to pieces every time I met them. I regret ever letting myself have feelings and hopes for this man - he's won, probably having a laugh at me, and I've been left with nothing.

I am happy being alone I have my space and I can concentrate on my interests and hobbies. I am in no hurry to get a boyfriend I rather stay single. I have no interest in having a boyfriend as I do not like being touched, I cannot express the emotions that a boyfriend would want me to express to him. I like my Aspie quiet time or space to be alone, I do not like to be smuthered. All of my friends are male and I rather have males as best friends.

Are you lonely?
Yep
Do you constantly think about being with someone?
Most of the time
Do you sometimes go out of your way to find people like you?
Not really, but I come here mostly to validate my existence, so I suppose it is true to an extent
Do you think, that when you find someone you fancy, or if they are similar to you, you automatically think that they cold be the one?
Not "the one," but I do get more excited than most probably do, which actually causes problems I fear
You can't help but wonder, do you stand a chance with them?
Actually since I've been pretty much batting .000, it's more like "will I get lucky and not *#$& it up this time?"
You really want to talk to and get to know someone, that has a lot in common with you or captures your interests, but you're insecure and afraid of being hurt/rejected?
This is the story of my life. Meet girl, get excited, don't see the signs/windows, finally overcome fear of rejection by realizing risking rejection is the only way to initiate a relationship with an NT female, too late, the kraken has been released. Vicious cycle
Does it bother you when you see someone of your interest with a boy/girlfriend?
I don't feel jealousy, because I know if I've hurt them enough to make them date somebody in my life on purpose, A. it's because we've hurt each other so badly that she needs to do it to feel temporary release from the pain, and B. the guy is either very stupid or has no self-esteem and is willing to get used for a short while. I don't have the ability to just "jump ship" like this, I've actually had a girl try to nail me while vulnerable when I broke her friend's heart but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I find that having sex with somebody specifically because you're not having sex with somebody else you want to is one of the quintessential human delusions, and I have never seen it actually work, long-term. All it does is postpone the inevitable regret and after all is said and done, you're still left with the love of that person.

Yeah, why would girls be on a dating site, if they were perfectly content, and happy, and could easily find a guy, on their own volition?

If you initiate, you're a creeper, but they WANT men to be the ones to initiate. If you're too aggressive, you're REALLY creepy, if you're not assertive enough, its the friend zone for you.

I don't know what they want.

Yep, that's it. Too aggressive: desperate, needy, creepy
Not aggressive enough: to the friendzone with you!

Are you lonely?
No.
Do you constantly think about being with someone?
Yes.
Do you sometimes go out of your way to find people like you?
No
Do you think, that when you find someone you fancy, or if they are similar to you, you automatically think that they cold be the one?
Yes
You can't help but wonder, do you stand a chance with them?
Because I'm insecure I think that I will not stand a chance with them.
You really want to talk to and get to know someone, that has a lot in common with you or captures your interests, but you're insecure and afraid of being hurt/rejected?
Yes I'm into someone but I'm and afraid that I'll be rejected.
Does it bother you when you see someone of your interest with a boy/girlfriend?
Yes it does bother me.

i hate the cards we males were dealth with

You and me both

We women are always told that being needy & lonely is a massive turn-off, that a man will think she expects him to be her entire world and fill all the empty space in her life, and that's too much expectation to put on one person. And that we'll look clingy and desperate. Supposedly the only way we can get a date is by pretending that we are happy single!

Besides which, if we have been long-term-single, we probably will be very independent. What's the alternative? And having a lot of friends isn't a bad thing. Obviously if someone is on a dating site, they'd rather have a boyfriend, aren't having any luck in finding one, but in the meantime aren't sitting around moping about it. That girl with dozens of friends might be out on the town every night and come home and cry because every man she has met that night has a partner.