A Happy Beginning?

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I was going to call this topic "Happily Ever After" but due in part to my obsession with precision "A Happy Beginning" seemed to be a more appropriate alternative.

In the relationships I have been involved in previously (both prior to my diagnosis) I had a habit of becoming incredibly stressed in the effort to conform to the accepted 'norm'. This included adhering to popular culture ranging from clothing to music taste. I made a conscious effort to hide my geeky nature to the extent of hiding all of my sci-fi box sets & intentionally trying to appear less intellectual. On both occasions the relationship I built massively imploded damaging me emotionally.

After my diagnosis I realised that it would be impossible for me to conform to the accepted norm, and that I had no other option than to embrace my true nature (quirks and eccentricities included). I built up a lot of walls emotionally to protect me from the turmoil of relationships. Then I met a lovely young lady.

Even with my extremely poor ability to read non visual signs I could see that she was 'keen' on me. We made friends and due to the anxiety in regards to a possible relationship coming into fruition, I made a concerted effort to not reciprocate her enthusiasm around me. I assumed that this apparent disinterest in conjunction with my quirks & self harm scars would terminate her interest in me. If only I knew she had already realised I was an aspie! At this point I had developed a fondness for her.

Then came a moment which really laid the foundation for a relationship, she had seen my complete collection of TNG, DS9 & VOY DVD boxsets and her reaction was "omg that is so cool!". We dove right into a conversation about Stargate SG-1, debated over how many series of Farscape there are and chatted about Dr Who & Torchwood into the early hours.

It turns out we were a total match. Her step father is also an Aspie, so she is used to the associated quirks. We are both massive geeks (if anything she is even moreso), study the same degree, musicians, singers, musical theatre nuts, hopeless romantics and chatty people (to put things rather mildly). Not to mention I think she is incredibly attractive and she loves the fact she has a rugby player as a boyfriend

So for me a very happy beginning to a relationship.

Why am I telling you all this? For the average person relationships are an emotional minefield full of self-contradictions, confusions, strange feelings, new experiences and a change to status quo. For us Aspies things are an awful lot harder. Since my diagnosis the idea of a relationship terrified me, the anxiety made me avoid them at all costs. But yet, I have found someone who likes me, aspergers, scars, quirks and all that I am, and if I am totally honest I am actually very happy.

So to all those single aspies out there I say 'Be yourself, and with any luck you will stumble into someone special who will make you'.

Brawnybalboa

Go for it man. At least she understands what she is getting to and has an idea of how to deal with you.

Awesome to hear!

Man, I've seriously got to move to a Commonwealth territory and find a way to roll back 20 trips around the sun from my odometer, if these places are that Aspie-heavy