Complimenting your male crush?

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Ruhig
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06 Nov 2012, 6:47 pm

I generally do not focus on compliments of a physical nature, especially when it comes to men. I mean, with my female friends, it is easy to compliment...You can tell them about their hair or shirt or something. But from what I read (and I suppose observations as well), it is different with males.

I've posted about this before in one of my other threads, but I'll put it here too so that you know my situation and can hopefully respond accordingly. I'm a college-aged woman who has never really been interested in relationships of a "romantic" nature or had a boyfriend or anything, but I have met someone that I am interested in, in such a way. We talk (not just online), but I'm not sure if he likes me or not...We saw a movie recently; still trying to determine whether he likes me as more than a friend.

BUT! I need some advice -
How can I compliment him without being weird? I mean the compliment, but I want to compliment him because I want to show him that I like him. He recently changed his profile picture on Facebook, and every time I see it, my chest just gets that odd feeling...which I suppose is the physical manifestation of attraction.
I really want to compliment him somehow. But I want to show him I like him with this compliment...Or at least show him more hints that I'm really interested in him.
Any suggestions?



JanuaryMan
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06 Nov 2012, 6:57 pm

Compliment what he does such as his work, his activities. It's a way of complimenting him without doing it directly and will seem less weird :) from there once you feel more confident and you think he's more susceptible to other compliments from you you could compliment him in other ways such as how he dresses, how he looks, or that you think he's great in however way you want to word it.



Arman_Khodaei
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06 Nov 2012, 9:41 pm

If you saw a movie together, then that might mean that he likes you. You can compliment his character. Maybe he is a kind person. You can tell him that he is very kind. You could even go further and say that you find kindness attractive. Just a thought.


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Fnord
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06 Nov 2012, 10:00 pm

Men take pride in their accomplishments, tools, and toys; so compliment a man on what he's done, the tools he works with, and the toys he plays with.

These claims are not true in every case, but they represent general trends.

Personally, I'd rather receive compliments for my cooking, my test gear, and my RPG materials. When a woman compliments me for my looks, it only makes me suspicious of what she really wants.


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BlueMax
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06 Nov 2012, 10:14 pm

If you're going to compliment him, be specific - preferably for something he's done or is unique about him that he's spent effort into creating...



Ruhig
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06 Nov 2012, 10:17 pm

Thanks for these suggestions, 4 generous posters. :P
I have little experience with such matters, so just reading these proves very helpful.
When I see him again in person, I will take these thoughts into account.


Arman_Khodaei wrote:
If you saw a movie together, then that might mean that he likes you.

I had initiated that event...
So I don't know if it is the same. Is it different when the male asks the female and vice versa? :hmph:
The tone was more friendly than anything else.
Hmm. How confusing.



rosemund
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06 Nov 2012, 10:32 pm

Yes, be specific, but also ask him to help you with something at which you think he excels. It gives you the opportunity to compliment him, but it also enables another layer of interaction between the two of you. I ready a study the other day about how getting someone to do you a favor ends up having a more positive effect on how they view you, than if you are the one doing the favor.



glasstoria
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06 Nov 2012, 10:49 pm

rosemund wrote:
Yes, be specific, but also ask him to help you with something at which you think he excels. It gives you the opportunity to compliment him, but it also enables another layer of interaction between the two of you. I ready a study the other day about how getting someone to do you a favor ends up having a more positive effect on how they view you, than if you are the one doing the favor.


This is true, I have read research on this as well. People like to feel appreciated, and acknowledged for the skills that they have that are special.


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Ruhig
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06 Nov 2012, 11:07 pm

glasstoria wrote:
rosemund wrote:
Yes, be specific, but also ask him to help you with something at which you think he excels. It gives you the opportunity to compliment him, but it also enables another layer of interaction between the two of you. I ready a study the other day about how getting someone to do you a favor ends up having a more positive effect on how they view you, than if you are the one doing the favor.


This is true, I have read research on this as well. People like to feel appreciated, and acknowledged for the skills that they have that are special.


Oh, that study seems really interesting. Thanks for sharing, I'll definitely see if I can try that.

I am always so into what I am doing that I often do not really give true thought to those around me. I am actually now thankful for this situation, because it seems to be an opportunity for me to open up to people.

Though I feel silly that I feel like I am now really learning things that most people hold as common sense.



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07 Nov 2012, 12:29 pm

Start with vague compliments, see how he reacts ?.

You are used to complimenting clothing? Who says you cant?.

Every day more and more males spend quite some time picking up apropiate clothes because society tells us things are changing and clothing is very important.

Dont go for tgat shirt shows off your figure nicely but thats a great shirt, where did you get it/ that shirt looks great are more than acceptable for example.