what do 19-21 year lady like

Page 1 of 4 [ 54 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

billiscool
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Feb 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,989

17 Nov 2012, 12:53 am

Ok, I've been talking to alot of 19-21 year old ladies and so far I've been doing better on my conversation skills, I no longer start a conversation about adam sandler, I usually start a conversation about college. But what else in general do 19-21 year old women like. I did talk to this 22 year lady a week ago but I think I bored her after a while :(. I usually ask about how college is going and what type of classes they are doing. I did talk to 19 year old at the gym I go to and that went well and a 21 year old ice cream employee too that also went well but she had a boyfriend, but she was still nice. Techinal I never asked any women out since 2003, to be honest I don't know how to do that. I don't feel comferable asking women I just meet to go out with me because I need to know more about them before I make that decison. since there is alot of young people on this board what are some thing I could do to slowly build a relationship with a young lady and what type of subject should I speak of.



AspieOtaku
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,051
Location: San Jose

17 Nov 2012, 12:58 am

Money.


_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList


BlueMax
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,285

17 Nov 2012, 1:07 am

I suspect gals of this age group are still thinking much like high school and unconsciously attracted to high confidence, popularity and fun (I'm trying hard not to say "personal gain" but some certainly will, just like high school.)

Any negativity or baggage is just a "downer" - they want light, fluffy fun.

Many aren't ready for responsibility yet and don't want it anyway.


I'm speculating, of course... but I don't think I'm completely off-base.



redrobin62
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2012
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,009
Location: Seattle, WA

17 Nov 2012, 1:08 am

AspieOtaku
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,051
Location: San Jose

17 Nov 2012, 1:10 am

Twilight Breaking Dawn!


_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList


Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,632
Location: Australia

17 Nov 2012, 1:11 am

I liked subject/verb agreement at that age. I'm still quite fond of it.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


BlueMax
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,285

17 Nov 2012, 1:13 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
I liked subject/verb agreement at that age. I'm still quite fond of it.


"subject/verb agreement"... what on Earth is that? :)



Dionysus
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 60
Location: Low Kharak Orbit

17 Nov 2012, 1:34 am

Bill is English your first language?

If you're trying to establish friendly relations with an eye to asking them out I'd suggest talking to girls closer to your own age if possible.

That said 20 ish year old women generally seem to like the hunger games and tv shows like Downton abby though I imagine this would vary a lot. Asking if someone watches a specific tv show, especially one that's popular at the time is usally a safe bet.



Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,632
Location: Australia

17 Nov 2012, 1:40 am

BlueMax wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
I liked subject/verb agreement at that age. I'm still quite fond of it.


"subject/verb agreement"... what on Earth is that? :)


When the subject and verb in a sentence agree with each other.

For example, "Who_Am_I has trouble reining in her sarcasm", not "Who_Am_I have trouble reining in her sarcasm".


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


17 Nov 2012, 2:06 am

billiscool wrote:
Ok, I've been talking to alot of 19-21 year old ladies and so far I've been doing better on my conversation skills, I no longer start a conversation about adam sandler, I usually start a conversation about college. But what else in general do 19-21 year old women like.



[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jItz-uNjoZA[/youtube]



BlueMax
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,285

17 Nov 2012, 2:22 am

^^^ OINGO BOINGO!! ! AWESOME!! :D :D



1000Knives
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,036
Location: CT, USA

17 Nov 2012, 3:24 am

billiscool wrote:
Ok, I've been talking to alot of 19-21 year old ladies and so far I've been doing better on my conversation skills, I no longer start a conversation about adam sandler, I usually start a conversation about college. But what else in general do 19-21 year old women like. I did talk to this 22 year lady a week ago but I think I bored her after a while :(. I usually ask about how college is going and what type of classes they are doing. I did talk to 19 year old at the gym I go to and that went well and a 21 year old ice cream employee too that also went well but she had a boyfriend, but she was still nice. Techinal I never asked any women out since 2003, to be honest I don't know how to do that. I don't feel comferable asking women I just meet to go out with me because I need to know more about them before I make that decison. since there is alot of young people on this board what are some thing I could do to slowly build a relationship with a young lady and what type of subject should I speak of.


You have my exact question. Since I seem like I'm probably Chris-chan level of functioning but good looking and eloquent in speech, I shall add my input of what other people tell me I'm doing wrong, since it seems it probably applies to you.

Girls and people in general don't like it when you talk about myself. See, they want you to ask them about them. I hate when people ask me a lot of stuff, as it seems prodding to me. I tend to view conversations as like, two people talking about themselves, rather than like, two people asking each other about each other. So apparently I must view conversations in that fashion, but it's hard to change my entire outlook of communicating with others, even if it is potentially wrong.

The other thing in conversations is like, emotional connection. You somehow or another have to make a girl feel good. Or as far as topics go, ask how she feels, however, I hate when people ask how I feel since I can't verbalize my emotions well, so I don't ask others. But girls apparently love talking about their feelings. So somehow or another, you must make an emotional bond with girls. Emotions, feelings, those weird things I don't understand much. Girls love them and usually put lots more emphasis on them than guys.

So unfortunately, I can't talk to girls really well, as I pretty much do the same thing as you and talk about Adam Sandler. Well, not Adam Sandler, but sometimes I ramble on forever about my interests. Guys seem to tolerate it better, but girls don't. All my male friends have similar interests, or at least they did at one point, as me.

As far as topics, you basically have to get any topic and be like "So how does that make you feel" I guess. I think. Maybe? I'm just as lost as you about this question, despite even being complimented by numerous girls for being good looking and stuff.

So the only way, without emotional connection to attract a girl is basically be powerful in some fashion. Then girls will be more attracted to you because you can provide or protect them. The classic evolutionary/biology thing comes into play. Whether or not relationships based upon being a protector/provider are successful, no idea. In most cases I've seen, no, but this could also be due to the feminization of society. The feminization of society requires a more emotionally connected man, I think. Compare old movies and TV shows to now. Men used to not be very emotional in older things, and now they tend to show a lot more emotion. I think in older societies, men with AS, as long as they were, you know, useful or strong in some fashion, would sort of be passed off as normal easier, as the emotional connectiveness needed for societal function was arguably less.

Thus, unless you can find ways to become more in touch with your own emotions, and in touch with other's emotions (basically cure your Aspergers,) there's not much you can do. It's what separates people with AS from "NTs", the emotional connectiveness and "empathy." Then there's the really rare girls, that really do love you how you are for whatever reason. Why? I don't know. It's possible you'll meet another girl that'll love you rambling on about Adam Sandler forever, and I'll meet a girl that'll put up with or love me rambling on about double edge safety razors and cooking and working out and ice skating forever. But I doubt it.

So, the answer to that question is "HOW DO YOU FEEL" good luck.



nostromo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2010
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,320
Location: At Festively Plump

17 Nov 2012, 4:48 am

billiscool wrote:
Ok, I've been talking to alot of 19-21 year old ladies and so far I've been doing better on my conversation skills, I no longer start a conversation about adam sandler, I usually start a conversation about college. But what else in general do 19-21 year old women like. I did talk to this 22 year lady a week ago but I think I bored her after a while :(. I usually ask about how college is going and what type of classes they are doing. I did talk to 19 year old at the gym I go to and that went well and a 21 year old ice cream employee too that also went well but she had a boyfriend, but she was still nice. Techinal I never asked any women out since 2003, to be honest I don't know how to do that. I don't feel comferable asking women I just meet to go out with me because I need to know more about them before I make that decison. since there is alot of young people on this board what are some thing I could do to slowly build a relationship with a young lady and what type of subject should I speak of.

Good start, sounds like you are half way there and have the right idea, I agree about what others said - ask girls about themselves, rather than talk to them about something. Simply ask them what they like doing is a good start.



helles
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 870
Location: Sweden

17 Nov 2012, 5:29 am

Yes basically agree with what others have said. I guess that women in their late twenties early thirties wold be a better option. They are (hopefully) a bit more mature and more forgiving about personal "oddities". But, then you might run into the biological clock thing.

The money thing seems to be quite important in the US, I do not find it to be nearly as important here. Maybe because women are fully capablet of taking care of themselves, and we do have a very good daycare system (so that the mother do not need a man to make money so she can look after the children), free schools, highschools, universities and hospitals.

I don´t really know a lot about NT women, personally I can talk for hours about my interests, and I love to discuss fisheries politics the whole evening 8)

Good luck


_________________
you are either a loyal friend or you aren't my friend at all


fluffypinkyellow
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 25 Nov 2010
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 117

17 Nov 2012, 6:01 am

I'm 20 and I'm really interested in dictatorships, maggots, philosophy and pus. Yes, that pus. Yes, those maggots. And it has to be proper philosophy, no naff "if you look beyond the horizon, you will see Jesus riding a camel unless it is actually really an old Egyptian man in a beret" sayings. If a guy talked with me about any of the above topics, I might rip off his clothes and snuggle him right then and there. Even if it was at a funeral.

I strongly suspect that I'm weird though. So actually, you should get to know them on an individual basis by asking questions about what they are interested in.



CornerPuzzlePieces
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 27 Feb 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 308
Location: B.C Canada

17 Nov 2012, 6:21 am

fluffypinkyellow wrote:
I'm 20 and I'm really interested in dictatorships, maggots, philosophy and pus. Yes, that pus. Yes, those maggots. And it has to be proper philosophy, no naff "if you look beyond the horizon, you will see Jesus riding a camel unless it is actually really an old Egyptian man in a beret" sayings. If a guy talked with me about any of the above topics, I might rip off his clothes and snuggle him right then and there. Even if it was at a funeral.

I strongly suspect that I'm weird though. So actually, you should get to know them on an individual basis by asking questions about what they are interested in.


Hah. :lol: