The next step ... what should I do? Any real advice welcome.

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my male best friend is in his bedroom right now with my female friend... with this door locked ... i just know their having sex and it bothers the living s**t out of me... i just cant stand the fact that everyone but myself can do this. people who wiegh 300 pounds do this. people who might be ret*d can do this. people who literally have 10 cents in their bank accounts can do this. i have anecdotal evidence for ALL of this. i love joe, he's a great guy and an amazing friend, but i cant stand the fact that he is both less competent at EVERYTHING than me and yet more confident. ive grown a lot since middle school but i cant seem to get out of this f****d up mindset from middle school, back when everyone hated me becuase i was annoying as all ehll. i know these are probly things i should be telling a therapist but theyre arent really too many of thems at 2am. i need to get this stuff off my chest. if anyone has any constructive respose at all it would be much appreciated.

i seriously lvoe you all youve all everyone whose responded to my stupid posts have helped me SO much and made me realize things that would have taken me the longest time to figure out on my own.

i need to thank my cross country team for being there for me no matter what and halping me do stuff, even though half of them is virgins too and they might even be gay lol. of course i cant judge cuase some people think im gay too hahahahhaha. but honestly, i dont even know how to do that.

im terrified that my social inabilites and incredible imprefections in this areas are going to turn me into an alcoholic who lives in a refreigerator box or some stupid s**t. i already drink liek 4 time a week and only have a 3.1 GPA because of it. no one is going to hire me, ever. cause im so fking distracted by booze and women (or lack therefor). i might even already be an alcoholic. yeah, wahtever, i may have friends, but thats only becuase of natural ability. i havent worked for anything, ever, becuase im scared too. i apoligize if half this stuff is not speled right but im reeally durnk at the moment and i think i may need more help than this forum can provide me with...

seriously dude is it just the fact theat im really durnk or am i actually this pathetic? i think it might be a bit of both cause if i cant even do this this drunk how the hell am i ever gonna do it sober? maybe thats why i get rejected all the time... cause i dont have the balls to do it even somewhat sober. in ordr to even MENTION romance of any kind to a women i have to be drunk as all hell. and thats probly why i get rejected, cause no one likes a slooppy drunk dude. im like raj from big bang theory, expet not as funny, and i dont actually ever get laid, cuase, u know, thats a tv show, and this is actul realy life... i shoul,d probably just go to bed to something but i cant cuase im just so abosutly outrageously pissed at myself... even my buddy joe's slutty-ass sister meredith wont sleeep with me... it might just be that im ugly as all hell, in which case there are things i can do, but if its my personality, im just not sure...

but starrchild what if i got rejected? rejection would destory this very little tiny bit of self confidence that i have from running... idk if i could deal with that. every time i think about love its simulaneously the best and worst feeling ive ever had in my life. this is just so terrible and im sorry if im sounding like a little b***h im really not usually and i know i have a lot of things gonig for me but this is really how i feel... am i just absolutely the most f****d up person in this world or what?! !! !

Whoa, Pabalebo, clearly you're not at your best when drunk (like everyone else).

This stuff you're saying now is the aspie 'all in your head' stuff. Sorry, man, you're going to have to get a lot of sleep, maybe get over a hangover, eat some healthy food, then you'll start fresh again.

Sleep well. We'll talk later.

I just went across the street to the park and screamed at trees for about an hour. It was probably one of the most helpful things I've ever done in my life.

I am actually sorry about ranting... I've had a really rough week. Found out I didn't do so well on the first draft of my senior thesis, haven't been able to run much this week for marathon training cause I've been so busy, and then today I found out my little sister had to go into the hospital for anorexia... then I went out with my friends tonight and all the guys except me went home with a girl. Maybe a night of drunkenly screaming at trees was what I needed...

i agree with frostbite he pretty much nailed it, admit you like her and do it in person more private and also more personal wait until you're sober if you're drunkenedness (spell check) refers to alcohol (cause i take things literally) you can do this I have complete and total faith in you

when it comes to rejection I've learned that you never know until you try but answer this for me will this dilemma continue to bug you until you burst it might make you feel better if the outcome is good and if it isn't there are plenty of other girls who are sure to like you, i am already starting to like you no pressure of course besides if she doesn't return those romantic feelings i'm sure sombody else will like me just harmless flirting made to make you smile laugh and be happy you desire it

YOU ARE NOT AND NEVER FEEL BE F***** UP. YOU ARE SIMPLY FEELING. WE ALL DO THAT AND DESPITE WHAT YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE THINKS YOU ARE NORMAL. NEVER FORGET THAT

ha. this little rant was worse than i thought. hahaha. god damn it... never drinking again lol.

Don't outright tell her you like her. Ask her out to dinner or something instead.

Outright telling your feelings rarely ever works well, even if there is chemistry between the 2 people.

Pab; I'm glad the stoic trees were of some help; they're good aren't they.

I had this conversation with another guy on this forum who was nervous as hell about telling a lady friend that he has special feelings for her as part and parcel of asking her out on a real date. In my experience, guys don't profess feelings as they are asking women out; they simply invite her on a date and reveal feelings (or not) in the course of things later. That might take some of the immediate pressure off.

As I started to write a recount of it I realized that it's easier for me to simply link the thread.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5070199 ... t=#5070199

As to date ideas; the dates I loved the best as a younger woman often involved the man sharing something he had a special entree into.

The first date a HS boyfriend took me on was to a boat show and light dinner. Later in our relationship we went boating a lot (Toledo OH on lake Erie). We took a trip on his motorcycle to the Irish Hills of MI to a lake cabin (his family had) on a Saturday in summer. I figure skated and he was a hockey player. In the winter he took me to a cleared spot on the lake to skate, but he brought hockey skates in my size. (Different skating style; lots of fun.)

After an initial dinner date in town; early on in our dating days; my former husband took me out to a small island he owned in Long Island Sound. He'd go out a couple times each winter to check the little cabins there. It was a sunny but gusty February day and one wave tipped over the gunnel leaving a slosh of icy water rolling around our legs in the bottom of the little Boston Whaler. It was miserable but he drove and I bailed and we dried out in front of a wood stove on the island. Once dating; life occurs. That's how couples get to really know one another.

The first date with my most recent BF (he died but much later) was to a traditional salmon dinner he hosted for friends after his yearly business trip to AK (he was a fly fisher). There I met a couple he was friends with in the Catskills and he invited me to a formal New Year's eve event. Later we spent many weekends at a little place he had in the Catskills. He introduced me to cross country skiing while we were attending an extended weekend conference at a lodge in PA.

First dates are a bit more rigid than later dates. By rigid, I mean; they occur within one day. You invite the lady to a specific place/activity. Later, once you've had a few dates and are comfortable in the relationship, dates are more often laid back. One of those I remember from HS is making a snowman and snow angels at my house then having hot chocolate. Spending a Sunday home watching sports is in that realm.

After the guy has taken her for a few dates; it's nice if the woman also plans/provides some of the dates: she cooks Sunday dinner and they watch the NASCAR race; she packs a special picnic in the winter and takes the guy to a grand botanical garden greenhouse conservatory (nothin like it in cold winter, short of a tropical vacation).

OK, so I need some advice like NOW. Same girl, stopping at her house on my way home for break again. Not a family house, her house at college. SHE invited ME. Leaving in a couple of hours. Those who know what they're doing... GO. hahaha

Pab, how did it go on Wednesday night? Did you have an enjoyable time with her? Do you have a date to see her during the school break? (Assuming you're still interested in her.)

are you sure you're not fearing her rejection as much as you are the commitment that comes with a serious relationship?