Not capable of Love and Relationships...?

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I'm starting to think I'm just not capable of being in love and being in a relationship. I know I have been doing the online dating thing (the plenty of fish one) since October/November but I think since I am on the autism spectrum I just can't connect on a deeper level, you know?

Maybe I'm not being patient enough. Maybe it's the wrong site. I've created an okCupid one and so far it's pretty fun...I just love all the fun questions and personality tests lol!

But I really feel that since I'm an aspie/autistic person I don't think it's possible for me. I'm starting to think just having friends is all I am capable of. Perhaps "good" friends if you know what I mean. Which I would like to experience sex and I do have an opportunity with a guy that I met online (not okcupid) who is also a virgin...a 35 year old virgin! He seems pretty nice too.

I was maried to a wonderful woman, we have two great boys One studying astrophysics the other law, politics and government both of my sons have Aspergers and so do I. I guess its too much to ask of anyone to look after 3 aspies all on your own. We do not on the whole think of others and empathy and sympathy are not our strong suits so I sit typing this in my one bedroom apartment while my wife is in our home 11 miles away. still the good news is we get on better now than we ever did together, I help her out when ever she needs it and she regularly invites me over for diner. but I still miss her

Me neither. I'm not capable of love in a romantic way. Plus I'm a bit asexual which basically makes me uninterested. So friends is as good as it gets.

But what is weird is that I'm positive that I react to pheromones. Most women, even attractive ones, don't interest me, but very very rarely I meet a woman that I am sexually attracted to even though she might not be attractive or have a nice personality. I would guess that these pheromone emitting women number something like 1 in 100,000. Sadly, they have all been married by the time I find them. I think officially, science says that human pheromones don't exist, but I simply have to disagree. I think its just a case that they haven't been isolated yet.

I feel that I can love but I do not always express it the normal way and get punished for not being able to-and I also believe no one likes or wants to get to know me let alone having a deeper relationship with me-I must be unwanted

I doubt that you're incapable, it just may be much more difficult for you to really develop that connection and get into a relationship. It's just about finding the right person, as well as being in the right frame of mind at the time. Just because you may be on the spectrum doesn't automatically preclude the possibility of success romantically, it just adds an extra hurdle in an already difficult area of life. I've also had some of the same feelings myself in the past, but in retrospect I know that they weren't true, it was more just a way to rationalize my lack of success.

It doesn't seem like you're incapable, just like you haven't found it yet. Keep looking, that's my best advice.

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autistic people can be intimate .........and caring............
also you have had bfs in the past so you obviously can get one........

I, too, suspect that I might not be capable of feeling love (at least not the classical, romantic version that normally is expected to lead to marriage). I've never really wanted a relationship, the pure thought is kind of repulsing to me. I'm willing to give it a shot, should I one day feel something, but I don't really expect it.

As for sex, I'm undecided. I'm definately not completely asexual but I just don't feel like I really want to "do the deed" with anyone. For me, sexual drive is something like hunger, something that you have to satisfy every once in a while, but it has little connection to love or anything emotional and doesn't include anyone else.

I'll turn it back to you...
what does an "NT" woman do when she actually likes and understands a man with AS, has broken the "news" in a gradual and friend-like way, KNOWS that he likes her in his own way but just won't take that extra very very little step...? (the extra little step? you wonder? hummm....hanging out once in a while and just being...)

I'm very hands off and utterly non-clingy with men...so my parameters are bit off...

Now that I've been reading these discussion boards more often..it could be that he is finding himself in the same place.

He doesn't want a "relationship", but is so quick and eager to respond to e-mails, sporadic invitations to hang out, help, etc.

There is NOTHING wrong with people who have AS! In fact, after dating my share of NT men...I'll tell you...everything is relative these days...who in the world is "normal"? I certainly don't want to be...