Perspective! A man can feel like a pestered woman by...

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Ever wondered why some gals get so dang MAD about men walking up to say hello, pay a compliment, or to chat (with the hopes of perhaps getting a date, etc.?)

I had a revelation back before Christmas when I went to a high-commisson electronics store (Future Shop) and was pestered by salesbeasts at every turn. Some were genuinely friendly and helpful, more were obviously greedy for the commission of a sale.

By the 5-6th approach, I was no longer feeling appreciative of their approaches to help me. By the 9th, I was genuinely angry about their approaches and only courtesy/politeness stood in the way of getting the "FORK OFF" building up inside me!

I don't know how often a pretty girl gets approached, but I imagine being approached by one scum-bum is enough to ruin it for any well-meaning others that come behind, or the next day, or beyond. Get several approachers on the same day (let alone a few hours) it's enough to make anyone less than polite!

It just feels like I have a little perspective I never had before...


Ladies, I wouldn't mind your input here for all the guys present. Am I off base? Spot on? Have more to add? Understanding what goes on in each others' heads may prevent a few arguments down the road!

Cheers, gang!

Last edited by BlueMax on 07 Jan 2013, 2:38 am, edited 2 times in total.

Yeah, you're definitely on the right track. But I think a big part of it is also that if a guy asks a girl out without getting to know her first, then the girl would get mad because the guy is determining whether or not he wants to pursue a relationship with her solely based on her looks. And people generally want their whole personality to be acknowledged.

I just let the salespeople direct me to wherever. Even if I don't plan to buy anything, they'll direct me and I'll be like "Yeah that's cool but I can't afford it today." And then after that they leave and I can browse the store in peace.

The problem is you don't just walk up and straighforwardly ask a girl out. There's a lot of stuff that you can do in between spotting her nearby and approaching her. Does everyone completely ignore the Autism Talk videos?

Good point... I'll edit my OP to make this clearer.

And, yes, there should be at least a few "interesting glances" first, to help determine if even a 'hello' would be welcome or unappreciated, etc.

This all sounds plausible to me, but I'd like to add, sometimes none of the approachers need even be a "scum-bum" as you phrase it. If e.g. I go to the electronics store intending to enter, buy one item, and leave ASAP, I'll decline any and all offers of assistance, well-intentioned or otherwise. Likewise, sometimes a guy meets meet a nice girl who just plain isn't interested.

This is definitely a big part of it, but there are often additional, more sinister concerns at play which leave me not wanting to engage in conversation with just any random stranger who approaches me: http://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest ... ing-maced/

Reading now - awesome article! It's a little on the "I'm afraid of all males" side, but darned good nonetheless.

This phrase alone makes it a must-read for all guys:

You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.

To be fair, she does live in NYC. A person living a such a big city might want to take some extra precautions to ensure their personally safety.

Last edited by ruckus on 07 Jan 2013, 7:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think the NYC subway is a very very bad choice of places to pick up women.

Yeah I hear the women in the NYC subway like to push guys in front of oncoming trains.

Do you have anything productive and non-spiteful to add to the thread or not?

what's wrong? I was agreeing with you.

But it was in the process of doing your usual of trying to make women look like callous twats. Which definitely wasn't what I was implying at all.

What just happened? My comment was referring to NYC being a huge city with a huge population which has been stereotyped as having a high crime rate (though I don't think that's necessarily true anymore), which could result in a person taking more precautions to ensure their personal safety.

It'd be really easy to talk about creeps... I'll bump the "creep" thread for that purpose. Let's try not going down that road here (if possible!!)

Heck, I'll add another story to that one!