Do you think you can help me appear less desperate?

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I can't help myself and can't find ways to appear less desperate. On my own that is. Are there any suggestions you can offer me to appear less desperate? Would you recommend that I redirect my focus? I could try that but to say that it won't be a challenge is ignorant. Not helping is the fact that I struggle to believe my college (UH) is full of single women when it could be. I feel every girl I'd like to meet will drop the b-bomb. I watched the movie "Hitch" Friday night but don't know if I can act on the advice (it may be just a movie but it's got a message). Gaining the necessary confidence to attract women is easier said that done, so have you got any suggestions on how to act on things that'll make this desperation go away or decrease? I'd like to know because it's killing me and making me hate myself. If I hate myself I can't find a GF but I need somewhere to start. If you can help me find it I'd love it.

Appear less desperate by getting on with your life and being yourself with yourself and try not to be anxious. Just do your thing and if people want to talk to you, great. Try and be like an open book and don't over think things.

In the past year I've ended a 10 year relationship, had a FWB with a goth girl and dated a girl I was really into for 6 months.

In any situation you're in, simply ask yourself this: "Am I having fun?" We get so concerned about impressing girls and looking suave and clever we forget that meeting people should be an act of pleasure and not a job interview for the position of boyfriend. Talking to any girl, even one with a boyfriend already, is never a waste of your time. You meet a new potential friend and ally, learn a little more about women in general, and can possibly date her friends later, or her if she breaks up with her current man (which happens often enough). But if you're not enjoying your conversation, cut your losses and move on. After all, you don't just have to impress her, she should be impressing YOU too.

I am an Aspie female so my advice might not work on normal girls but it might.

I suggest you figure out which girls you like, then figure out what they like to do (kayaking, bicycling, yoga, etc.), and then start doing that thing yourself. So, if you think the girls in the pilates or yoga class at your gym are cute/nice, then start taking the classes with them. Then you will having something in common to talk about AND you will get in better shape. That is a win-win!

And the other posters are right, don't focus on meeting women, just focus on enjoying yourself no matter what you are doing and the girls will come to you. We are drawn to happy, smiling men. We really are.

Here's a little tip from an NT woman: Be interesting yourself. Pursue the things that truly interest you with passion and energy, and the right person will appear effortlessly. You have to love yourself and be true to yourself. Pretending to like something in order to attract women is a recipe for misery. For instance, I met my aspie bf at the gym, and we both love lifting weights. I wasn't looking for anyone there, I really love to lift weights! If you like a solitary activity, try taking advanced classes or joining a group that has regular meetings.

I had my first relationship at age 26. It wasn't perfect and It only lasted 4,5 years because I was afraid I'd never find somebody else after this so I held on. But in the end, I did break up and I told myself I was done with relationships. They ask so much of me that I cannot give and nobody gets better from it.. and so I was 100% sure that I had to live my life Alone and I started preparing myself and doing stuff on my own. Then I met this other person only 1 month after my ex left my home.. and this other person totally fell for me. And I couldnt resist. Dammit.

So I really go with the 'try be interested instead of interesting' thing.. I think ladies are attracted to guys who know their way in the world. Of course, as an Aspie that is not always easy to accomplish, or maybe it's not even easy for Nt people. But I don't think you need to be some kind of Superman, but just try to be confident about the life you live and the things you do. People generally look for someone that doesn't need to be babysitted on, or however you put that in words..

Stand a little closer than you normally would, make a little more eye contact than you normally would, touch a little more than you usually would. This has worked pretty well for me. I am told it projects confidence.

For example when you meet someone for the first time, take a half-step into their personal space and extend your hand in greeting. [If they do not return the gesture then do not pursue them, they aren't interested.]

Glad you found my words inspiring.
And *laugh* ....if I would have followed the advice of touching, eye contact and stepping into personal space my aspie would have run for the hills!! !

i too accept that i am a bit desprerate but my problem is that i always have fear of facing a girl n talking to them specially the strange girl or my crush ... even after getting motivation from my friends i am not able to talk to girls freely .... while talking i even forget what i want to say , and talk which i don't want to later i feel guilty . I am really working to shed my fear from 2 years but still i am not able to shed it completely . i am confident before i talk but as soon as girl come in front , everything gets wrong , hands sweat like hell ... please suggest me clear solution pls

well, one thing that might help is to talk about your problems with girls where your crush (or better; her friends) can hear you, withough mentioning names, if the crush is interested in you, she might get the hint to be a little more assertive herself, else her friends might (good chance that they know she is interested as well)