Obsessive and clingy??
equestriatola
Veteran
Joined: 13 Aug 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 138,030
Location: Half of me is in the Washington state, the other Los Angeles.
This can be me as well........I feel like I am one of the Desperate Housewives!
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Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.
Every day is a gift- cherish it!
"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."
ButI DO NOT wan to sounds like a whiny desperate housewife.
I only want to understand why he left me alone OR why he lied.
I feel like I did something wrong but I can not understand what is it and why.
And being pushed away, rejected.. It just.
This is NOT the first time.
I have had many little crushes, and people have always been playing with me.
They say I am pretty and at first that it'k ok I'm aspie and they understand but it is ALWAYS, they leaving, without telling why
Well he told me why; because I am immature and obsessive and clingy and he need space but what I do not understand is that. I told him I am clingy. And I feel safe with him. And all. And he said, he likes it and it's okay.
Then it wasn't okay?!
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Living in my own bubble.
what did he lie about?
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Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently.
And being pushed away, rejected.. It just.
This is NOT the first time.
I have had many little crushes, and people have always been playing with me.
They say I am pretty and at first that it'k ok I'm aspie and they understand but it is ALWAYS, they leaving, without telling why
_________________
Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently.
You don't know anything about me. I'm not obsessive, I just like him A LOT. Is it wrong to like someone so much. I think it's not real liking and love if you can just think like "Oh, it's over, I will move on and find someone else" I don't WANT anyone else.
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Living in my own bubble.
All I know about you is in this thread, and what this thread tells me is that you ARE obsessive. I don't think he lied to you. I think he seriously underestimated how clingy and obsessive you are. Listen to what he told you. He told you why it didn't work out and he gave you good advice for the future.
Just from this, I can tell you really are obsessive and clingy.
It's not love unless you mutually respect each other, and maturity is an important part too. You're not being respectful, or mature, and so this is what happened.
You're supposed to give the person space.
As someone who made a similar mistake when I was younger, I can tell you that you don't want to go down this road. It WILL backfire.
All I know about you is in this thread, and what this thread tells me is that you ARE obsessive. I don't think he lied to you. I think he seriously underestimated how clingy and obsessive you are. Listen to what he told you. He told you why it didn't work out and he gave you good advice for the future.
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Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently.
I don't know you or him so I'm not passing any judgement. Like I said, I'd give a lot to have GF like you. It'd be awesome.
BUT...
I will tell you this from what I have observed other people who also dumped girls because they were clingy:
The thing that burns them out of the relationship is that the girl becomes extremely dominant of the guy's time. Aka, she will text him hourly and if he does not text back a storm will brew out of it.... or she will want to be with him 24/7 to the point where she begins to demand he stop doing his stuff to pay attention to her.
Its OK to be clingy...its adorable in my opinion. But there is such a thing as too clingy to the point of being harassment. That is what burns guys out of such relationships.
I don't know what your situation is but if the above applies then be aware of it.
equestriatola
Veteran
Joined: 13 Aug 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 138,030
Location: Half of me is in the Washington state, the other Los Angeles.
I think I should try to stay back...... as in talk once a month to a gal. I dunno, but I sometimes feel like I getting desperate.
What am I to do, too?
_________________
LIONS-STAMPEDERS-ELKS-ROUGHRIDERS-BLUE BOMBERS-TIGER-CATS-ARGONAUTS-REDBLACKS-ALOUETTES
The Canadian Football League - What We're Made Of
Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.
Every day is a gift- cherish it!
"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."
I don't know you or him so I'm not passing any judgement. Like I said, I'd give a lot to have GF like you. It'd be awesome.
BUT...
I will tell you this from what I have observed other people who also dumped girls because they were clingy:
The thing that burns them out of the relationship is that the girl becomes extremely dominant of the guy's time. Aka, she will text him hourly and if he does not text back a storm will brew out of it.... or she will want to be with him 24/7 to the point where she begins to demand he stop doing his stuff to pay attention to her.
Its OK to be clingy...its adorable in my opinion. But there is such a thing as too clingy to the point of being harassment. That is what burns guys out of such relationships.
I don't know what your situation is but if the above applies then be aware of it.
_________________
Living in my own bubble.
What am I to do, too?
Once a month isn't enough, that would give any girl the opposite impression, ie. that you're hardly interested in her. I had a guy friend talk to me once a month; it was like, holy hell I'm surprised you didn't forget my name. A couple of times a week is IMO the optimal amount of contact, not too frequent, not too infrequent. I know when I don't hear from a person for a while I worry that they've lost interest in talking to me.
The trick here (and this is relevant to the OP too) is to grow a little more...I dunno what word to use....Calloused? Indifferent? There is life after losing someone. Once you lose someone and you see that you lived through it, you won't dread losing people so much and you'll know what to expect. Best thing to do when there's threat of losing someone is to do nothing and let fate take control. Struggling and fighting to hold on just digs the hole deeper. If things are "meant to be" interference shouldn't be needed.
I kinda have a bit of experience in the obsessor department myself