are we aspie men bad with women or are women bad with us

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Maybe the single ones don't think you are interested and the married ones don't care. I am NT and my boyfriend is AS. Him being AS is not an issue for me but some of his behaviors... Even though I do know "why" really get to me at times. He is not an overly sexual person but that didn't come out until I was pregnant. So I am already sensitive because I take it personally but then he gets envolved in his interests and I don't exist. I came home from work a little late today because I had to go to the store.... Which he knew. My 13 year old AS son was home with our 2 year old. A task he is able to handle. But I came in and no dinner was made, the two year old pitching a fit and he wasnt home. My son said he was told he had to puck up a disc but he told the baby he had a meeting. I was livid because he could have just texted me and it would have been fine. He came home took one look at me and kept saying please don't be mad please dont be mad. I told him I was upset the baby hadnt eaten and he didn't let me know what was going on. He said he was focused on what he needed to do and didn't think about anything else. Now if an NT guy pulled that he would be just being self centered. I do know that he gets focused but it is difficult for me not to get upset. He needs to make an effort. He has responsibilities. Please don't throw stones here... But I feel like there are times AS is used as a reason to just do what ever is easiest. I don't think he feels he needs to make an effort to think things through or become less focused on what he is interested in. I say this because he seemed to manage to get things done when he was single. It is not so much women versus men AS versus NT... Both sides just need to out forth some efforts

I think it's a combination. I am 28 and self diagnosed and I have yet to have found a women that I was into feel the same about me. Most of the girls who are attracted to me, I really don't have any physical attaction to. So when I do find someone I am in to and see a future with, when it doesn't work out, I feel even worse about myself than I did before. I really had a hard time letting go of a Filipino women I went out with last month. She was so kind and nice to me and understood my quirks and flaws and wasn't creeped out by my aspie-ness like most girls would be. I clearly saw myself having a future with her. I took her to a theme park and I was convinced it was going to work out. We held hands the entire time and it was the best date I have ever been on. She even bought me a nice shirt and a hoodie as a Christmas gift. Even my friends were happy for me because I told them about her. Before that, we even got kinda intimate with our texting. But as it turned out, she was more comfortable with me as "a best friend" rather than a boyfriend and that just broke my heart when she told me she fell for someone else. So in other words, I made the typical aspie mistake of getting too attached with someone and making more about something than what it was and now, I don't even think she wants to be friends with me at this point understandably because I couldn't let go of her. I sometimes think Aspergers is a curse and I will never find someone that will like me for me.

Sometimes I think females are weirder than I am and by that dont take offence its just like some hit on me when I dont pay attention and when I do pay attention they ignore me. And If I am just being nice and not expecting to get a date just being a nice guy they sometimes get affectionate and start to hit on me and it makes me nervous at times.

Both lonely males and females contribute towards their own unhappiness and have complex issues.
Aspie males are far more socially impaired than Aspie females, who are socially impaired to NT females.
Aspie males statistically have a much better chance of happiness or interacting with Aspie females who would be on a similar social level.

Billiscool.. I am glad you thought I was cool. My post was a week or two ago and when I went back and read it I sort of felt badly. I feel that I need him to be reliable in certain areas and focus on things. I did end up explaining that to him and that I was not mad that he had to run out and not even that dinner was not started (dinner is his chore and he is fine with it) I was upset that he had not thought to give her something to hold her over and that he had not simply communicated with me his need to run out. As it happened he had to go out 2 more times that week and both times he changed her, gave her a snack and sent me a text. He really does try when he knows he is supposed to.

Bluemax it is not always a game. Yes, some women play the game, but more often it is just in our makeup.. something we need to work on for sure. I have learned so much here not just about AS but myself as well. It took me a while to learn to be direct and percise. This is not just for AS/NT relationships but all Male/Female relationships. I have shared a lot of what I have learned here with my BFF and she has started trying some of what I do with her NT husban (both NT's) and it has changed their relationship as well. Women give "clues" and assume men will "get it" and they don't. Men are direct and women try to read into it and get it wrong. Another bad thing we tend to do is to go back and rehash things... that is how we get known as being a nag. It is not our intention it is just.. oh I need to clarify this or that. Case in point. My BFF has an awful MIL.. I have personally been around her and it is BAD! She also gets upset because her hubby doesn't stand up for her. She decided to tell him she would no longer spend time with his mother socially and it was a very long speach she had prepared and she was mad at him too. I told her he was use to his mom and had come to accept her attitude and the fact that she never spoke up he assumed she had accepted it to. That it was unfair to blame him for not sticking up for her when she didn't for herself. My advice was to tell him that she understood he accepted it but that it had gotten out of hand and she would never expect him not to spend time with his mom but she was done and just end the conversation there. It was hard for her but she did it and that night he called his mom and told her how upset she was and how he couldn't have that (stood up for her like she wanted without her trying to force him into it) So the next day she was going to talk to him about it again... just to let him know it was not him she was mad at. I told her not to that she should just let it go unless he brought it up. Now see for her she was not trying to nag about it or make it a bigger issue she wanted to reassure him... to him.. he had no idea that she would be mad at him because she never said that to start with. She was mad at his mom, that is what she said right... so if she brought it back up it would be confusing.... back to men interperate the way they think and so do women. If the roles were reversed she would want him to bring it back up a few times and reassure her he was not upset with her.... but he didn't need that... to him she said she was upset with mom, he spoke to mom problem solved case closed. Male female relationships are confusing no matter what your processing may be (AS/NT...) The best advice I can give is to find someone who is willing to at least try to give you the big picture and be precise and on your part ask her "how do you feel about that" the answer may not make sense exactly but women generally are based in emotion where men are in fact... AS men are just a little more in fact than NT BUT I have discovered they make more of an effort to understand "feeling" it may not makes sense to them but they accept it as being the womans reality and therefore valid. Seriously AS men are so much better at relationships than they know... I feel they try much harder to understand

Most women cant stand us which is why most us aspie men are single.

I have a reached a time in my life and I have now accepted cold hard reality. I believe the past is often a good indicator of how the future will turn out. A successful past usually leads to a good future but a bad/troubled past usually leads to a bad future. I have accepted I will be alone forever and I will grow old and die alone. There is no point lying to myself and living a life of denial.