I've got it going onnn...... yet

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...no one suits me. No one really treats me with due respect, so no one really works for me.... I want to be with certain people but a deep need inside me screams, "THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU"....

No one seems to pay much mind to me. They pay mind to my body, they pay mind to my brain.... But the two attentions aren't connected. Their intake of me seems divided. I'm either a "sex fulfiller" or a "thought dispenser" (I'm a damn "PEZ dispenser", is what)... What happened to an "equal" and a "companion"?

This world is full of maniacs, I swear. All men who are interested in me are blatantly wanting to OWN me. All women who are interested in me are blatantly wanting to BECOME me. Where on earth is the RESPECT?? I want to be treated like a separate but equal entity. I am so uncomfortable with the physical, concrete clinginess of everyone around me.

When I'm ever clingy, I want the cling to be in an abstract reality... Where I am not one solid thing and they are not one solid thing. Where we can metaphysically be One, without becoming excruciatingly tangled-up in one another.


Who's with me on this? Anyone?

That sounds way too complicated, and then you say other people are too complicated. And you want to be treated like an entity? Why not like a person with feelings? Or is that too cliched?

Entity:
Noun
A thing with distinct and independent existence.

I am a spiritual person. My vocabulary isn't pretentious... It's just my own view.

Okay wait.... I really do NOT want to be treated like a "person with feelings" if it means people will simply project their own feelings onto me and assume they KNOW what I'm feeling. This is what people do. I do this too. And I don't WANT that. It creates tension, misunderstanding, etc. I understand I am taking an incredibly idealistic stance in the original post. I understand the paradox. And I understand how impossible true equality and bliss is within relationships.

I am speaking my conflict, is all.

Well, it's always hard to find someone to connect with in that sort of way. Haven't really been one with anyone myself so I really don't know how to achieve it. I would like to, though... But I'm really not sure that girl exists anywhere.