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So in other words its the guys job to pay. You know since it is the mans job to ask.
That there's a minute amount of women that so frequently ask guys out does not topple what the vast majority is.

I wouldn't know, I'm an asker.

Even though it's the most gut-wrenchingly terrifying experience ever.

Nice to hear that acknowledgement coming from the other side...

Funny how the ones who consider it "no big deal" also have vastly better success...

Assuming they have money.

Cook some pasta at home its easy and cheap as well as filling also buy some red wine some can be rather delicious and only 7 bucks a bottle. Otherwise Order some chinese hehe and get a bottle of sake!

I wouldn't ask regardless of my gender because I am too shy.

It's becoming more socially acceptable for girls to ask now. When I was growing up the general attitude of the people around me was that if a girl did things like approach a guy or ask him out she was "desperate" or "chasing after him" and probably making a fool of herself going after someone that wasn't interested in her. If he was interested he would ask.

it's true - the deck is stacked. i would like to see that changed, but men and women don't seem keen on it. one survey that i read had the huge majority of both men and women preferring to have the men asking women out, so it's not like my arguments are getting anywhere.

The men in that study are stupid.
The women there are being smart for keeping power.

I've only ever been on one date where the guy paid for everything (and it wasn't like, my birthday or something). It threw me enough that I insisted like three times that he let me pay my half but he wouldn't give in.

Then again, my opinions are probably pretty tightly wound around my tendency to almost exclusively date starving art students.

Its that they have been conditioned in such a way that they truly believe that their current position is ideal.

If she wore that outfit then she's expecting the guy to pay. Too bad that wineglass is blocking her cleavage. Unfortunately that guy kinda looks like me. Did they order two bottles of wine?

When I lived in Japan, any display of money was considered low class. Payments should be handled as subtly and smoothly as possible, ideally without any delivery of a bill. On the other hand, my more limited experience in Hong Kong was that people made an ostentatious display over the payment. Delivery of the bill by the waiter could sometimes lead to a wrestling match for the right to pick up the tab. In both cases it's a way to demonstrate power. And that's something that you want to do on a date.

The worst is when it falls to a level of, OK you ordered a drink and I had water so you should pay $3 more.

Among friends I think it's nice to simply take turns paying. Payor can use a credit card and you don't have worry about getting the right change.

If I asked a woman on a date then I would try to make sure that I paid. If she insisted on splitting then I would suggest that she could pay the next time and encourage her to choose the place. If there is no next time then hopefully there are no bad feelings. And if there is ... then that's sweet.

I think she's looking directly at him.

I think he's looking directly at the ass of the waiter who bent over to pick up a dropped fork.

She's not happy.

He is ...

That's the rule I follow for platonic lunch/dinner dates. For romantic dates it's pretty much a 50/50 split.

I don't follow that rule, and wouldn't like to. I often order cheaper meals because I don't have money to throw around. So I'd be paying more money than I wanted to, if my date had significantly more expensive taste. I prefer to pay for whatever I ordered (not to be confused with splitting 50/50). I think that just reflects my overly independent personality.

Common sense will keep people away from these situations.

Live within your means.

If you can live within your means, then when you offer to take somebody out on a date, if they ask to split it you have to ask yourself the following question: will they receive satisfaction from paying their share, and will it work towards earning an open honesty relationship where one person is not being 'carried' through? If they are EXTREMELY insistent, you can always ask if you want to have her pay for the next date, and see where that goes. If they just want to pay the bill out of guilt, then it's just a simple matter of saying "don't worry, this is within my means."

Because it's true. Easy.

{Shrug} I actually prefer to split the bill in every situation (unless it's his birthday, or some other special occasion), and I've had men throw near-tantrums when I offered to pay half. You can't please everybody.