What NT's want

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Ah, the old game of cat and mouse, a popular game amongst NT kind. They want what they can't have and they aren't content with what they do have. It's really like a game of chase when it comes to relationships.

I have found that I am static, Neurotypical people tend to be more emotional and dynamic. They also require constant attention and emotional support, I'm not particularly strong in those areas so I think I need someone that doesn't require much emotional support or unpredictability.

Not all of us require constant attention and emotional support. And some of us don't mind getting what emotional support we do need from other sources-friends, family.

I get told constantly that I am a strange man

I guess I must be a sucker for punishment.

Like Wolfheart said, cat and mouse. I'm the mouse and the cat is now done playing with me. I'm out.

Hmmm.....I don't play games.....I'm usually the cat....

All NT's aren't the same. Everyone has different wants and needs.

This is like asking "what do black people want" or "what do blonde women like". It's a sweeping generalization.

And all Aspies aren't the same either. Unless they conform to some Aspie-pride identity crisis.

They usually want dominance and control ie they want to be top dog in the relationship and if you don't bend to this there will be a lot of arguments with them implying you are the difficult one with the 'problem'. What they mean is things would be so much nicer if only you'd agree to do exactly what they want all the time.

So I'd say power struggles and mind games are usually the order of the day in most relationships with an NT.

Wow! How many NT's did you date before coming to that conclusion???

Personally I don't mind the other person handling things in a relationship. ie paying bills, making certain decisions. I pull my weight. I work full time, I cook etc....but I don't want to do it all. I would welcome someone being dominant. If it's someone I can respect, I would feel confident in their decisions as well as safe. I would love that feeling....never felt it before....but it's what I want.
I'm old fashioned with a modern twist.

Another bigoted statement from nessa238 making sweeping generalizations about people who dont have aspergers.

Actually, I thought being a rigid control freak was an aspie characteristic...

I do slightly agree with this. Although everyone is obviously different, if stated clearly enough, then we are easy to figure out. I'm not agreeable with playing the cat and mouse game, and don't need a lot of attention. I do however need to feel considered and validated. So as pointless as a call or text may seem at times, for me, it does confirm some fear that I'm not being thought of--as silly as that does sound (even to me). Maybe I've just been socially engineered to feel that way. I don't know. I don't know if we're simple as much as we just maybe are more expectant.

A genuine compliment here and there is always appreciated, expressing what's going on in that AS brain can be helpful--which means having to open up a bit, and remembering anniversaries and birthdays are nice.

I thought NT refers to anybody that doesn't have a recognized mental-disorder(whether it's diagnosed or not). It doesn't just mean non-autistics. I also suspect that a lot of people who are passed-off as being "NTs" probably aren't ones.

Last edited by Venger on 10 Mar 2013, 9:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'd say you'd be better off asking what a personality type wants than what an NT wants. Still going to be broad-spanned, but it would give you some idea.

Dating seems to be about narrowing down your options while keeping them open. I would say that as people, we have taken the courtship/mating ritual to an insane point, but at least most of us don't devour our mates.

Neurology -> Personality -> Beliefs/Ethics -> Interests (From observance of strong relationships, these are in compatible areas)

Interests -> Beliefs -> Personality -> Neurology (My observance of how people date)

Thus, we have conflict!

I could be (and most likely am) wrong.

Yes I want the control myself, hence any person who wants to dominate me has a battle on their hands!

It's not just NTs ; it's a fair majority of people but seeing as the phrase 'neurotypical' was created to define the non-autistic majority, what else are these people to be termed? - 'We're not that bad reallys'?

I didn't create all these stupid labels and it makes me laugh that with them having been created and foisted upon us, I'm not 'allowed' to use them!

The last person I saw acted as if he had Aspergers or something very similar but he also had the worst aspects of an NT (average non-autistic person) on top - selfishness, disrespect, thinking he was God's gift

So what was he? a person with Aspergers? a sociopath? an NT?

Perhaps it will eventually become clear to people that the more labels society creates, the less chance there is of defining anyone accurately!

Whatever their neurology, most people are out for themselves and incredibly selfish - if people can't accept that basic fact I feel sorry for them as they are going to suffer in life, badly!

Last edited by nessa238 on 10 Mar 2013, 7:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

Oh and there was me thinking this was a discussion board where people expressed their opinions, not yours

You're pretty intolerant yourself

Actually I think they've mainly been neuro-diverse

I use NT to denote the type of thinking and behaviour I hate that most people exhibit - there is a common thread to it - it's all about conformism and intolerance of difference; wanting to be one of the gang even when the gang are morally bankrupt. People on the spectrum can act like this too but are less likely to as they are usually rejected from or actively avoid social groups and hence develop a more individualistic way of thinking.

Believe me you do not want to be in a domineering relationship - people who want to take charge usually want to undermine you as well - it's not done for your benefit at all.

Yes, that is a good point and it's important that you don't end up falling into a social hierarchy as they can be predatory but sometimes people do to survive. I suppose what I'm looking for in a relationship is just honesty with no games, not someone who feels the need to assert themselves or prove themselves as an alpha every other minute, just someone who has a mutual respect respect and understanding for both of us.