What NT's want

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This is a discussion forum and as a person with Asperger's Syndrome I have every right to respond

Why should people only respond to agree with what others say?

I can tell from your tone that you have a clear agenda and do not appreciate me exposing it

"A positive attitude towards life and other people (and I emphasize this because there are some people on this board with a negative attitude towards the opposite sex or think that others are "out to get them" - this is not attractive to others at all)"

"Yes, we have had different experiences, but I am not judging yours or anyone's own experiences and never post with any sort of manipulative or malicious intent."

These two sentences are contradictory in the extreme as far as I'm concerned and your first statement was exceedingly demoralising and unfair in my opinion

I think you have mixed more with the type of aspies who are 'high fliers' and are trying to impose their achievements as some kind of standard that we should all be able to achieve if only we try hard enough - I find this kind of thinking very damaging

This 'one size fits all' attitude to achievement potential is what makes people feel like utter failures when they can't achieve the same as others who are presented as their peers no matter how hard they try

There are a multitude of variables affecting any one person with Asperger's chances of making a big success of their lives and then there's the issue of what defines success as well

I find the whole Aspergers conference and lecture circuit to be very insidious and mis-representative of the abilities of many people with Aspergers - it's a form of cherry-picking of the people with more NT-like abilities in my opinion and saying
'If these people can do it so can you!'

They are like the child prodigies of communicating usually - often with skills far surpassing the average NT and I do not see them as representative of the average person with Aspergers at all. They are invariably excellent communicators and self-promoters and I think their influence can be very damaging on people with Aspergers and know of a prime example that discretion prevents me from talking about on the open forum.

I'm going out on a limb here....*gulp* but I haven't noticed any personal attacks. I've seen some stuff that I don't agree with about NT's but then, I never feel that it's directed towards me. Unless it's blatantly obvious. I try to reread the reponses to make sure I'm not reading anything extra into the posts.


okay well initially I didn't notice any personal attacks...

Also the intent of the compliment can vary widely
eg whistles and comments from building workers are nothing more than a generic leer
a comment from a platonic friend is meant to show friendship and make you feel nice
a corny pickup line is either someone fishing with old bait for a quick hookup, or a nice person trying to make you laugh.

For Aspies to be cured, so were not so annoying to them!

Absolutely!!




Oh stop it! lol you know better than that. I hope this isn't your way of bating me into an 'argument'! lol

^^^Yeah, wanna make up?

You are being so naughty lol!! You don't even know if you like me!

That and I could've sworn you were spoken for.

It's fun to practice flirting though, isn't it? On here where it's relativey safe...
I worried about it once, though... one WP gal made me think I might come home one day to find her sitting on my doorstep with a suitcase and a ring. ("I married you in your sleep!") [/exaggerating]

I find this to be very true in my situation. Don't think we would have gotten far had I tried to change him. The honesty has been refreshing.

Its a long story!

It is not an illness needing a cure. It is simply a processing difference. If I had all the power in the world or a magic wand I would not change a sil.Glen Aspie trait in either my bf or son. If I could change anything it would be all the ignorant people who are so self absorbed that they think their way is the only "right" way. Due in great part to the people on this site who were able to explain to me Aspie thinking, processing and feelings I have grown in ways I could have never imagined. It was difficult at first to change the way I communicated. To have to figure out why in fact I wanted or needed something rather than just go with what I always had before "cause I want it" I got a tiny glimpse of the difficulty of living in someone elses world. I had emotional meltdowns. I was so overwhelmed trying to live in a factual based world when I process emotionally. It took me about two months to retrain my communication to the point that it was not overwhelming every time. I can not imagine a lifetime of that process. I had to learn fact based communication and Aspies have to figure out the emotional processing of everyone they meet. If I could change something I would make that part of their lives easier. I think I help with that some by showing them clues and teaching them the right questions to ask so the answers are provided. But I would not want either of them to not be Aspie. I love their Aspie traits. They make me happy.

I don't think he really meant it like that. I could be wrong.

All I know is I feel like a goose in a world of ducks.
Had a NT boyfriend for two years,than a NT husband for twenty.Hell on earth.I don't know what I did in a past life to deserve that,something awful I guess.At least I've paid my dues.
Not to mention school,bullies,teachers that were mean.People that look at you funny.No thanks.Unless you have been on the other side of the fence you can only speculate,you have no idea.
I'm either lucky or unlucky enough to draw disability.This enables me to interact as little with the NT world as I have to.And I plan on keeping it that way.I have books,my art,my music,pets,a garden,Internet,satellite tv,and two nice adult children,that is plenty.And no one can see my house from the road,sweet,sweet privacy.And it's quiet,NTs are noisy.
I've spent most of my life sad,I'm not letting anyone inflict that on me again.
I'd eat dirt and die alone,preferable to being tormented.

I don't think he really meant it like that. I could be wrong.[/quote]

That is good I just feel really sad when people get on here feeling that they are not "good enough" or what ever because people have made them feel that way over and over when it is not them it is the people around them. And just maybe my passion gets a lil long winded at time lol

I've come to 'know' some people here and can kind of tell by their post what they are getting at.

....but of course, I could be wrong....

Last edited by IlovemyAspie on 16 Mar 2013, 11:27 am, edited 1 time in total.