NLD incompetence/the male version of "ditzy"

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I'm a pretty tall guy with big shoulders and decent muscles, just strongly built I guess, so I guess women just assume I will act manly. I can even play sports fairly well. I just have horrible fine motor skills (by horrible, I mean 6th percentile when they were tested). And I can't even find my way around most buildings, or even open most doors without trying it several different ways.

I usually try to act manly, but usually, I think I just end up acting more like an insecure jerk than anything else -- without having the desirable attributes of other jerks. And my relationships don't last. I've had lots of short ones.

My face pictures look a little feminine. Also, I think my real personality as it is expressed on WP is a bit as well. But my body type is definitely not, and my real life behavior is typically manly. So it's this contradiction between appearance, personality, and behavior that is a serious source of stress which makes me uncomfortable around people generally and women in particular since they seem to be more perceptive in reading behind a sham.

true, but with time these should come together, I have a child like face, a lot of people think I'm 5-10 yrs younger than I am. I've gotten the "your too nice" before too, but as girls turn into women they can and do lose this. it will make it hard for you now, but it will work out later. and if you turn into the bad guy(as you said it doesn't work, and it never will, atleast it didn't for me) now, it will hurt you later. the main problem I think is the lack of confidence/too shy(me too) and the women that will be good for you will also be shy. this is the hard one with no real answers? wait too long to approach or come off as too pushee/needy?
if you figure that out PM me with that!

Ditzy with decent muscle, hmm.

I have this image in my mind of a dominant cougar type taking you in as a boytoy and making you keep house in little shorts.

I like younger girls who match my level of maturity (so like 19-21) who are themselves ditzy.

Is this not practical?

I dunno! You probably go out and talk to more girls than I do. I have no idea what they're up to and what they want, just know there's all types out there.

The characteristics of my friend were that she wanted a boy [like you described] so that she could help him out. She found it cute if he was a bit clumsy and emotionally depedant on her. She also didn't want a very typically good looking boy, but someone that was a bit fragile or smaller boned. I asked her: 'why?' and she said something like 'so that I can be his caretaker'.

I don't know... Perhaps it is her way of feeling in control or feeling that someone really needs you and loves you for it. I guess it gives her self confidence. She was also very insecure. She didn't want a typically handsome guy or too sociable because she was afraid other women would steal him from her.

So should I try to get small and skinny just to appeal to the right demographic and quit throwing women off? I could train for a marathon and see how women's responses differ.

Why? Personally I'd rather date a hot guy that's a bit clumsy/shy/awkward than a fragile not hot guy that is a bit clumsy/shy/awkward. I think most girls would and I feel my friend was an exception.

She only went for someone less attractive out of fear of losing him to other women..
This thread is interesting, I'm not sure it's even a good thing if a woman is attracted to these traits that I exhibit sometimes; seems like there's a problem there.

In my experience, women want me to be better than them in every way before they will even consider dating me (and even then I'm sometimes not good enough). I have to try to hide every issue I have or most people abandon me. I have had a few precious friends and one very special girlfriend who weren't this way, but I don't have a great deal of faith that I can find more people like these.

Thats interesting...so much for woman wanting equality. As a female myself, I like to have a balance were I'm better at some stuff and he's better at some stuff. And not nessarily gender oriented tasks.

If you were honest about it, I'd probably find it attractive. But then, I've been diagnosed with the same thing, and can relate to not being able to figure out "obvious" things, so the attraction could result from empathy.

A few things: First, Ai Ling, you are awesome, and I totally agree with you.

Next, I have had the same experience as ShamelessGit. Some women basically expect men to be a god who can read their minds, entertain them, take care of them, make them happy, and they're not willing to reciprocate at all. Of course, men have to be the initiators and then basically do all the work thereafter. Some expect a knight in shining armor to whisk them away to some happy, exciting place, and they, as the girl, are supposed to be well worth it just because they do what in return...? Oh, yeah: Sex.

I guess all the heavy burdens placed upon a man are because, in our sexist culture, sex is supposed to be some reward that women give to men for playing the correct gender role, and women are supposed to pretend like they don't like it and give it away grudgingly to men who are supposed to be crazy about it and jump through hoops to get it. Women who go against this awful sexist system are typically subjected to "slut shaming" by other women and sometimes by men because a girl simply acting like a reasonable person threatens to bring the whole system crashing down.

This seems like an awful system that disadvantages both men and women who do not meet the correct gender roles. And I think this is becoming a larger % of the population all the time.

I think it's all in the attitude. If you don't take yourself too seriously and you can ask for help when you need it without worrying about appearing "weak", you can turn your learning problems into an advantage, I think. I'd be flattered if a man asked for my help and appreciate him taking me seriously. But that's just me. I know what it's like to be thought of as stupid, so I don't make assumptions about people based on what they don't do well.