FMX wrote:
It seems that you've already figured out what to do (51 minutes after first posting about it), but for the sake of completeness I'll mention that some people have "open relationships", ie. multiple partners. If you love them both you don't necessarily have to choose between them. Far be it from me to give relationship advice - I'm only pointing it out as an option. I've known a couple like that. Well, not a "couple", but a... "triple"? One guy with two GFs who knew about each other and were OK with it.
@FMX Just so you know your lingo. Open relationships includes three subsections: Polyamory, Swingers, and hybrids. Polyamory refers to multiple romantic relationships, Swingers refers to people who have sex outside their romantic relationship without love, and hybrid would be a mix. Most people associate open relationships with swingers and you were pretty clearly describing Polyamorous folk so I wanted to clarify.
It's true that Polyamorous relationships are complicated. But the thing is in all of creation there are people who can love multiple people and people who cannot. Who's to judge that one person's ability is better than another. I personally am Monogamous but I am willing to date someone who is Polyamorous. The person who is poly is the one who has to deal with the complexity of loving two people and learning how to deal with their s**t. I specify so you know that it's okay for people to be different from your particular possible orientation and understanding at the same time.
Remember. It is culture that has taught you that it is wrong to be Polyamorous not direct experience. The wrongness is the lying/cheating about it and in an Polyamorous relationship there is no lying or cheating.
Either way, good luck on your personal search and with this issue. I do not envy you.