Why do some people play games?

Page 5 of 6 [ 84 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

31 Mar 2013, 6:57 am

blue_bean wrote:
^ He posted it with the initial negative [and false] presumption that the woman in question was playing games though. He just changed his tune when the responses didn't validate his perception.

yes, that's true. but saying that one specific woman is playing games is fine so the post was ok. implying that all women (or all NT women) are playing games is not fine - which is how the title went further than the text. unfortunately his sexist title is a magnet for those members who want to speculate to answer the question that's hanging there...

i could edit the title but i don't like doing that - it's kind of intrusive on a member's thread.


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105


AspieOtaku
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,051
Location: San Jose

31 Mar 2013, 8:40 am

Same way men play games be it pc Xbox360 Playstation3 WiiU or Wii. Others use Nintendo DS or Playstation Vita or on their Android or Iphone I hear Angry Birds is most popular on those. Some play board games or bingo tic tac toe or tag!


_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

31 Mar 2013, 8:49 am

^ We're referring to the dynamics of human relationships, as presented in the book "Games People Play", by Psychiatrist Dr. Eric Berne.

"Games" being the social methods that people employ to manipulate others.



AspieOtaku
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,051
Location: San Jose

31 Mar 2013, 2:08 pm

Fnord wrote:
^ We're referring to the dynamics of human relationships, as presented in the book "Games People Play", by Psychiatrist Dr. Eric Berne.

"Games" being the social methods that people employ to manipulate others.
I know I was just being silly and trying to lighten up the mood! My earlier post was removed because it was rather negative and I was already down at the time and said along the lines that women think of of us men as tools to play as marionettes and toss us aside but I know its not true for all women, I just had bad experiences is all! I am not going to argue about the post being removed It was understandable! There are good women and bad women just like good men and bad men! I just haven't found the right woman yet and the right woman hasn't found me yet! Side note: women like to play truth or dare and spin the bottle!! !


_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList


auxetoiless
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 20

01 Apr 2013, 3:28 am

theshawngorton wrote:
Is that all very unnecessary? Why is it like that?


If society worked on a level of AS straightforwardness, yes, it'd be very unnecessary. But in reality, there are myriad little social games/dances/patterns people are expected to follow. *shrugs* Even my NT friends can't adequately explain why we need to do these things, but I guess - metaphorically speaking - if we all do the dance the way it's choreographed, no one will bump into anyone else...


_________________
Your Aspie score: 160 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic score): 42 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


AspieOtaku
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,051
Location: San Jose

01 Apr 2013, 4:14 am

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTfg1I1YWLY[/youtube]


_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList


Stalk
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2012
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,138

01 Apr 2013, 4:42 am

^ LOL



suzieqq
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 14

01 Apr 2013, 4:54 am

From a female NT's point of view i would say she is either really busy and being honest or she is not sure you are the one for her. Some women like the challenge of figuring out if a guy has feelings for her. It makes the relatinship exciting for these women, but these types of women are not ready for a real relationship... chances are these women will get bored and move on once they know you like them. My advice to you is if you are still talking be direct and tell her you are still interested in dating her and ask her to be fair to you and tell you if you are wasting your time waiting for her. You can explain if she wants it to work you will wait but that its unfair to make you wait for nothing. She should give you a direct answer in return. If she runs away because you were honest about wanting to know if you are wasting your time than she is not going to be understanding of your directness in general.



MannyBoo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,968
Location: Hyperspace

01 Apr 2013, 5:12 am

Because Games are more flexible than Contracts. :wink:



Frieslander
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,767
Location: Michigan, USA

03 Apr 2013, 7:49 am

hyperlexian wrote:
moderator note: do NOT use this thread as an excuse to make sexist remarks about NT women, or women in general. this thread is not a playground for you to speculate about women and game-playing. i have removed several posts already, but the most recent one by theshawngorton had to be left in place even though it was unacceptable as it was quoted by other members.

the thread has been left open because Frieslander made it clear that (in spite of the slightly sexist title) he did not mean to imply that women play games whereas men do not. he was genuinely seeking advice and didn't want to rant against NT women or anything, so please don't let the thread go down that track. thank you.


I apologize for the subject of the thread. I did not make it "Why do all women like to play 'games'?" or "Why do all NT women like to play games 'games'?". And I did not mean to imply that all women or why all NT women do this. The word "game" came from a FB conversation I had with a female NT woman who was talking to me on Facebook. She used the the words, "It's a game. It's ret*d" when she and I were discussing that I was apparently too available for my ex-girlfriend. My ex, as I think I somewhat explained earlier in this thread one evening when was terribly lonely because her son had left for college, "You can't help me" (with her loneliness) via text message. I took that as a challenge and went over to visit and actually slept over the night there... we did some sex-related stuff, but not actual sex. That was what my NT friend was talking about when said I was too available, and that it was a game.

I use the word "game" to essentially mean that women say one thing and often mean another. When I used the word "game", I was just frustrated as heck -- not a good excuse, necessarily.

Anyway, I tried the honest, straightforward approach, leaving a voice message with her yesterday, and she sent me a long email message today apparently about why we should not be together.... I've been too sad to read it in detail..... : :cry:



DialAForAwesome
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Oct 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,189
Location: That place with the thing

03 Apr 2013, 9:15 am

Because.


_________________
I don't trust anyone because I'm cynical.
I'm cynical because I don't trust anyone.


Janissy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 May 2009
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,450
Location: x

03 Apr 2013, 9:27 am

MannyBoo wrote:
Because Games are more flexible than Contracts. :wink:


This is the actual reason.

Game allows some wiggle room for a person to change their mind. If a person keeps their actual current feelings and reasons in their own head then they have burned no bridges. If their feelings and reasons change (as feelings and reasons sometimes do), then there is the possibility of the relationship morphing to fit the new situation. A game allows for that possibility.

But if you strongly insist on honesty ( as the OP subsequently did) then the other person has to "write a contract" so to speak. Once a contract has been "written" by the person being open and honest about their actual feelings and reasons, then they are committed to whatever those feelings and reasons were, even if they change. What is said cannot be unsaid. Whatever is in that email cannot be unwritten and the woman the OP was conversing with can't suddenly say "you remember that stuff I put in the email? Forget I ever wrote that." Well, she can say that but nobody ever actually does forget such things so it's like a signed contract that can't be broken. It is inflexible. A game is flexible.

Mannyboo was joking (per the wink) but this is the real reason.



Frieslander
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,767
Location: Michigan, USA

03 Apr 2013, 11:33 am

Janissy wrote:
MannyBoo wrote:
Because Games are more flexible than Contracts. :wink:


This is the actual reason.

Game allows some wiggle room for a person to change their mind. If a person keeps their actual current feelings and reasons in their own head then they have burned no bridges. If their feelings and reasons change (as feelings and reasons sometimes do), then there is the possibility of the relationship morphing to fit the new situation. A game allows for that possibility.

But if you strongly insist on honesty ( as the OP subsequently did) then the other person has to "write a contract" so to speak. Once a contract has been "written" by the person being open and honest about their actual feelings and reasons, then they are committed to whatever those feelings and reasons were, even if they change. What is said cannot be unsaid. Whatever is in that email cannot be unwritten and the woman the OP was conversing with can't suddenly say "you remember that stuff I put in the email? Forget I ever wrote that." Well, she can say that but nobody ever actually does forget such things so it's like a signed contract that can't be broken. It is inflexible. A game is flexible.

Mannyboo was joking (per the wink) but this is the real reason.

Makes quite a bit of sense, yes.



hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

03 Apr 2013, 11:34 am

moderator note: the title was changed at the OP's suggestion as he didn't feel like it reflected what he wanted to say.

please keep discussion on topic and do not devolve this thread into a sexist discussion of gender and game-playing. some posts along those lines have already been removed. we are making an effort to keep this site friendly to all genders, so let's stay on track with this thread. if you have any questions, please send a PM to any moderator and we will be happy to help. thank you for your understanding.


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105


AspieOtaku
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,051
Location: San Jose

03 Apr 2013, 12:00 pm

Because they arent as mature as others and are insecure with themselves so they play games to make up for it! They are afraid of commitment because they are not ready and just want to have fun but fail to realize they are hurting others who want to get serious!


_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList


Misslizard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,481
Location: Aux Arcs

03 Apr 2013, 12:09 pm

I always thought leap frog was a fun game :lol:

The people that play games don't go by any rules,they want to be the winner,get what they want, and care nothing for the feelings of those they hurt.They are too busy patting themselves on the back to care about anyone but themselves.


_________________
I am the dust that dances in the light. - Rumi