do you fake interesting or not

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billiscool
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07 Apr 2013, 5:48 pm

so, was I talking to this young lady a while back, and she told me she was study to become a marine biologist,
Now I Have a little interest in fishes and water life, but I pretend I was more interest in it, then I was.
Now would this be good thing, to pretend to have interesting in something that you really don't.



UDAspie13
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07 Apr 2013, 5:54 pm

I do when necessary but otherwise no.



eric76
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07 Apr 2013, 7:25 pm

I don't have to fake interesting in many scientific and science-related fields. My problem is not one of interest, but of having far too little time and energy to study them in enough detail to master anything about so many fields.

If I'm not interested, that becomes very clear really quick. The bigger issue is when I am disappointed in what I see among people in the fields. For example, in the mid 1970s, I provided a little minor help to a young lady with her dissertation in (I think) Wildlife and Fisheries Science. I thought, "Great! Sounds interesting!" But then I found out the research for her dissertation. It involved going out in a boat on a bay a bit less than once a month for a year or so and counting how many dolphins she saw in different parts of the bay. We don't need anybody with a PhD in Wildlife and Fisheries Science if that's all they do.



Who_Am_I
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07 Apr 2013, 7:32 pm

I think it depends if you find the person interesting in other ways. If you do, then I wouldn't go over the top and pretend you love something you hate, but at least be polite and willing to listen. I've found that most enthusiasts make their pet subject sound interesting anyway.

If you don't find the person interesting in any way, why would you even try to date them in the first place?


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Cafeaulait
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08 Apr 2013, 2:48 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
I think it depends if you find the person interesting in other ways. If you do, then I wouldn't go over the top and pretend you love something you hate, but at least be polite and willing to listen. I've found that most enthusiasts make their pet subject sound interesting anyway.

If you don't find the person interesting in any way, why would you even try to date them in the first place?


exactly.



minervx
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08 Apr 2013, 3:15 am

billiscool wrote:
so, was I talking to this young lady a while back, and she told me she was study to become a marine biologist,
Now I Have a little interest in fishes and water life, but I pretend I was more interest in it, then I was.
Now would this be good thing, to pretend to have interesting in something that you really don't.


I wouldn't pretend to be much more interested than I actually am because that's just artificially propping up what may not be meant to be.

If I were interested in someone, I'd research a certain topic for a few minutes to be able to relate to them, but I'd never pretend to be hugely into marine biology if I wasn't.



goldfish21
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08 Apr 2013, 3:15 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
I think it depends if you find the person interesting in other ways. If you do, then I wouldn't go over the top and pretend you love something you hate, but at least be polite and willing to listen. I've found that most enthusiasts make their pet subject sound interesting anyway.

If you don't find the person interesting in any way, why would you even try to date them in the first place?



...because maybe one isn't interested in dating but is interested in getting laid?

Happens all the time. People fake interest in others' interests to make a favourable impression, sweet talk them, ask all the right questions as if they're going through a sales negotiation process.. and then when they're sold on sleeping with you, bam, that happens. End of game, peace out, go home, do over as desired.

I'm not saying this is advisable or for everyone, merely that it exists and that it's one of the most common reasons why people fake interest in others - their own pleasure.


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Geekonychus
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08 Apr 2013, 12:17 pm

If someone I'm interested in has a strong interets in something I will genuinly attempt to learn about it so that I can contribute........However, in my experience, common interests aren't as important as you might think in a romantic relationship.



Stalk
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08 Apr 2013, 12:28 pm

This is difficult, because if you are interested in the person, then anything they say would be interesting. So at one stage I think, what they say would be tiresome to listen to and then you would be faking to be interested, to just be with that person in general. Don't normal couples go through this anyway? Surely not everyone is interested in what their partner has to say all the time. But they be polite about it anyway. Perhaps the key is in how much you have in common, where the grey area of yes vs no lies :)



MjrMajorMajor
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08 Apr 2013, 12:46 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
I think it depends if you find the person interesting in other ways. If you do, then I wouldn't go over the top and pretend you love something you hate, but at least be polite and willing to listen. I've found that most enthusiasts make their pet subject sound interesting anyway.


This. It works out because they return the favor if I go rambling off on a wild tangent. :oops: :)



Cilantro
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08 Apr 2013, 3:21 pm

I think it's fine to try to learn what someone has to say about an interest, why they like it, etc, to get to know them better as a person, but if you don't really care about the breeding habits of tiger sharks then hearing them out is probably the furthest you should go. One is polite conversation about something you don't pretend to be passionate about and the other is pretending that you're actually passionate about it. I'm not sure from your post which of these it is.

Since you aren't interested in the subject you won't be able to engage them in discussion like someone who really does could, and the truth is going to come out sooner or later if you make things out to be otherwise. Some people might view it as dishonest and others might be hurt or disappointed that you were only pretending to care about what they were saying.



billiscool
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08 Apr 2013, 6:25 pm

actual, I used to faking interested. I use to have male friends, long time ago., That would always talk about camping,
or what kind of adventure they went on. So, it's nothing new to me.



BoilingBrain
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13 Apr 2013, 1:25 pm

billiscool wrote:
so, was I talking to this young lady a while back, and she told me she was study to become a marine biologist,
Now I Have a little interest in fishes and water life, but I pretend I was more interest in it, then I was.
Now would this be good thing, to pretend to have interesting in something that you really don't.


IMHO, faking interest is absolutely necessary. My interests are extremely unusual, even for Aspie standards. I'm interest in extreme music and guitars. I don't expect the average female, to like or listen to Brain Drill. Or tell me what their favorite guitar tone is. It's not as hard as keeping eye contact.