guys: are you real or fake around women

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I'm not even sure what the real me acts like in social situations. I don't really have a social mode that seems natural, unless it is just an exchange of information. I didn't learn to have conversations for fun until I became attracted to girls at around the age of 15 and realized that girls like to talk. When I had my first crush the only thing I could think to do was invite the girl to play a game of chess with me. You might think that sounds romantic/fun, but it would not have occurred to me to introduce myself or smile when making the invitation, and I would have found it obnoxious to have conversation during the chess game (had I actually followed through on the idea). I think in a certain way, I am wearing a mask every time I make recreational conversation.

Currently I try not to pretend to show interest in things that I don't find interesting, but the format of all conversations is always fit to what I think will cause the most successful interaction. And if it's a pretty girl I'm talking to, then I have some tolerance for conversation topics that I would not ordinarily be interested in. I noticed when I fell in love with my last girlfriend that my personality seemed to change to make me a more sociable and aesthetically-minded person, which made me more compatible with her. Somehow the personality change seemed to be entirely natural, or as natural as anything has ever been to me.

What does fake mean ?. I mean in what context. How can you be fake ? Do you mean lying or what ?.

Im my self everyone, even the few times ive been drunk, it changes nothing, im still myself. certainly dont lie, tell people what i think and the truth.

He has all those FAIR WEATHER friends

I think I am fake because I build up anxiety by not trying to look at inappropriate places. I can't keep eye contact for long so my eyes drop from their eyes to their mouth to lower part of their neck usually then I should go to floor but nobody likes it when I stare at the floor or table next to them. I am talking of 20min conversations here. not something that happens every 5 seconds. I like to look somewhere else so that I can focus listening but they prefer it that I look them in the eyes. That is difficult.

Then there are of course other things we talk about that I never hear guys talk about. So not sure if that is being my self or that is something that only happens when I speak to a woman. I fake the smile, I do all the social greetings.

I definitely think I am fake especially if I like the woman, I'm very cautious of what I say, which seems to lead to anxiety.

I always keep it real, yo.

Ever feel like this "real versus fake" thing is a catch 22? I feel like, if I present myself as who I am, the real me, no woman in their right mind would want me. But I've grown so adept at being fake, at pretending to be an NT in order to function in the world, that when I meet women I slip into this guise, as a charming, worldly, outgoing person...but of course, I'm lying to them and myself. So there is no way to win.

When Im interested on a female:
I try to keep it real but I make a point to be sure that some of my strengths are showing which isnt something I do around my male friends.

For example when I was a child there was only one thing that saved me from massive bullying(which doesnt mean I wasnt bullied) every now and then I uncounciously did "jokes". Anything I said/did could be seen as funny if the right audience was around and that meant that class mates forgave some of the things I did (teachers pet...)

Now when I got older I learnt how to control this "joking" thing and use it to my advantage.

Just yesterday for example I met up some people.
It was the first time some girls saw me so they asked an acquaintance if I was from the area(I look like Im from here but I dont act like it). He is quite an extrovert so he made them ask me out loud and I said that whatever he had told them was right.

Hour and a half afterwards I was getting bored so I approached him about the whole thing, he said that the girls themselves where the ones who had asked about me so we should just go along with it for a few minutes.

For over 15 minutes I: explained them that I was from Ballincollig, Ireland, and where exactly that was. I pretended I had no clue where either of them where from because I had obviously just arrived to the country and so on.
By the end of the whole thing I just said to my acquaintance :"dude they are not falling for it" while making it clear that it was just a joke and they began laughing non stop, kept on talking to me for a long period.
As sad as it is if I had just told them I was born and raised in the city they would have just said ok, go on with whatever you were doing


I rarely do this around males to be honest but thats the only change I make

That depends on how attractive the girl is, and how attracted I am to her. If I am attracted to her, I won't act like I normally do. I will slow my voice down a little, focus on eye contact, and enunciate works more clearly. I'll also be verbally playful.

If it is a girl I'm not attracted to, I will be casual and myself.

Well i try to tone down my aspieness and put on a more "mysterious" aura because for some reason i think it works for me. And i don't mean like "badass motherf*er" kind of mysterious. more like "i am in my own little world so don't bother me" kind. Its like i have too much pride to be some desperate nerd. i don't care how attractive you are i will not let you control my emotions in such a way. Sometimes i wonder if i should try harder but i don't think i'll ever change. What i need is a female who understands