i want to ask this girl out i work with but not sure how

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focusfactor
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06 May 2013, 6:25 pm

I work at a grocery store. Ok so I overheard her speaking to another female coworker about how white I was and what I was mixed with and when she turned around the other girl mentioned I looked scary (because I shaved my head bald) and the girl I like said "I like your haircut it looks good" so I asked her "what do I look like I'm mixed with?" she said "I don't know polish?" So I told her I was half cuban and she said "oh cool". Another time I was collecting tips and went to the front counter to change all my ones in to bigger bills and she said "ballin!" Is that your tip money? I said I'm not telling you! So anyway I want to ask her out yet I don't want her to say she has a boyfriend in defense only to later have an awkward feeling everytime I see her. I think she likes me yet I might be getting mixed signals. She's always smiling and sometimes I think she's looking at me while I work. What should I do?



OliveOilMom
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06 May 2013, 6:32 pm

When you take a break and she's working, get a couple of cokes or candy bars or something or other and make it a point to walk by her and say "Want one?" and offer it to her. If she takes it just stand there and talk for a few minutes then go back to work. Do this a few more times but not every time you both work together. Give it a few days in between. By then you will have a rapport with her and you can ask her out.


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focusfactor
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06 May 2013, 6:37 pm

Thank you that's such a great idea



OliveOilMom
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06 May 2013, 6:59 pm

You're welcome. Keep it casual when you stop and offer her one. Don't act like you bought it just for her, just that you bought two and well here she is and she looks thirsty/hungry. If she asks if you bought that for her though, say yes and smile. Then just chat about regular stuff. Don't talk to her too much every time you work together too. Say hey when you see her and occasionally tell her something funny you heard or some work gossip, but other than that, keep it casual and friendly.

When you offer it to her just say "Want one?" and hold it out, like you are just offering it to a buddy over at your house watching tv. Be casual and relaxed. Do not spend your whole break talking to her, but do talk to her for a few minutes then leave before she has a chance to get bored!! ! That is a very, very important thing. I tend to run on and on and will bore the crap out of something, so if I am trying to make friends with someone or impress them I have to make sure to shut up and leave quite a while before they could possibly get bored. This worked back when I was single too and looking to get guys interested, but the leaving before they can get bored thing is good for romantic interests and making friends. You want her to be interested in you and in talking to you again, kind of like giving somebody one cookie out of the box and no more so that they want more cookies and aren't filled up on them and not interested anymore.

Also, ask her a question or two about herself but nothing too personal and not question after question. You don't want to sound like you are interviewing her.

Above all, keep it casual. Your expression, your body language, what you say, etc. When you leave to go do whatever else you need to do, just say something like "I gotta go make a phone call. Later" or something like that. Or "See ya". Nothing formal. Treat it like you are just stopping to chat with a coworker. This way you can feel her out and find out if she's interested in you without coming right out and asking and then being embarrassed if she's not, and it also gives her more of a chance to get to know you before you ask her out.

Let me know how it goes!


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focusfactor
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06 May 2013, 7:23 pm

Thank you that's such a great idea



focusfactor
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06 May 2013, 7:26 pm

Thank you that's such a great idea



OliveOilMom
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06 May 2013, 7:29 pm

focusfactor wrote:
Thank you that's such a great idea


You're welcome. I keep thinking of things I want to add, so I keep adding. One reason I said to keep it casual and not do it a whole lot is so that you can notice her reactions. You want to give her a way out if she's not interested, without either of you being uncomfortable. If you act friendly and like you might be interested but it's not quite obvious, she can either smile at you more and talk to you more or ignore you more. If she starts ignoring you, don't take it bad, it just means that she's not interested and is taking the opt out that is there. It doesn't mean she hates you or thinks you're creepy or anything. It's normal for that to happen fairly often in dating situations. If she does start talking and smiling more, you will want to immediately move in but don't. Give it time and play it casual and cool so it doesn't seem rushed or like you are way, way into her or anything.


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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


focusfactor
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14 May 2013, 3:22 pm

Well I offered her a kit kat and she said no thank you I'm on a diet.she seemed kinda busy but I told her I'm getting an apartment soon. The male employee said " really? Why r u getting an apartment?" The girl interupted and said "freedom?" I said that's exactly why I'm getting an apartment. I left after that

OliveOilMom wrote:
focusfactor wrote:
Thank you that's such a great idea


You're welcome. I keep thinking of things I want to add, so I keep adding. One reason I said to keep it casual and not do it a whole lot is so that you can notice her reactions. You want to give her a way out if she's not interested, without either of you being uncomfortable. If you act friendly and like you might be interested but it's not quite obvious, she can either smile at you more and talk to you more or ignore you more. If she starts ignoring you, don't take it bad, it just means that she's not interested and is taking the opt out that is there. It doesn't mean she hates you or thinks you're creepy or anything. It's normal for that to happen fairly often in dating situations. If she does start talking and smiling more, you will want to immediately move in but don't. Give it time and play it casual and cool so it doesn't seem rushed or like you are way, way into her or anything.



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14 May 2013, 3:25 pm

focusfactor wrote:
Well I offered her a kit kat and she said no thank you I'm on a diet.she seemed kinda busy but I told her I'm getting an apartment soon. The male employee said " really? Why r u getting an apartment?" The girl interupted and said "freedom?" I said that's exactly why I'm getting an apartment. I left after that
OliveOilMom wrote:
focusfactor wrote:
Thank you that's such a great idea


You're welcome. I keep thinking of things I want to add, so I keep adding. One reason I said to keep it casual and not do it a whole lot is so that you can notice her reactions. You want to give her a way out if she's not interested, without either of you being uncomfortable. If you act friendly and like you might be interested but it's not quite obvious, she can either smile at you more and talk to you more or ignore you more. If she starts ignoring you, don't take it bad, it just means that she's not interested and is taking the opt out that is there. It doesn't mean she hates you or thinks you're creepy or anything. It's normal for that to happen fairly often in dating situations. If she does start talking and smiling more, you will want to immediately move in but don't. Give it time and play it casual and cool so it doesn't seem rushed or like you are way, way into her or anything.


That's a great start. I'd talk about something next time, though. Ever thought about reading something where you two take breaks? See if she asks what you are reading, then you can explain it briefly and move on to asking a couple of questions about her.