What do you think of online dating sites?

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They work for some people. Haven't worked for me though; yesterday I deleted my profile. The guys I'd met were giving me too much trouble:
- a guy who broke contact with me after we'd fooled around
- a guy who I accidentally ended up meeting in person (we happen to be in the same community group) and was hopeful about, but who turned out to be in an open relationship (I can't actually say anything too nasty about him as at no point was he dishonest with me)
- a guy who seemed to just want to use me as a free math tutor
- a guy who after 5 days was asking for sex, to stay the night, and saying we were boyfriends. This one was very recent, just this week. When I cut things off with him he called me a bunch of awful names, threatened to "punish" me, and accused me of using him and wasting his time (seriously, it was five days, and my time can just as easily said to have been wasted). This was the straw that broke the camels back and which prompted me to delete my profile.

Add to that the number of people who didn't reply to messages, or who just stopped replying after awhile... Yeah, my experience wasn't great. But other people have been successful and I suspect that it might be better in a larger city where there will be better selection. I will also say this: my impression of OkCupid (where I just haven't met anyone) is much better than of Plenty Of Fish (where the stuff happened that I described above). OkCupid's system gives you a much better idea in advance of whether a potential match would be compatible. Sadly, it did this well enough for me to say that there isn't really anyone in my area compatible with me on there. With POF it may seem like there is more selection, but I think that is just because they don't give you enough information to be able to see how few people would actually be good matches.

I tried Match and similar sites but didn't work out as it is a paid dating site.

I tried Plenty of Fish but need some help on how to message ladies as well.

MjrMajorMajor, I’m glad you agree with me in at least part of my assessment of our society. Maybe you’d like to elaborate.

I have tried Plenty of Fish with no success, probably because there are just too many people there. Okcupid has been fairly good. I think people who are more serious minded about relationships are actually more apt to be found on paid sites, there is no incentive on a free site to commit if you just keep going back…

When messaging women, I generally like to keep it short and simple. I find something in their profile that interests me, as them about it.

I keep trying to delete my POF account and it won't let me It looks like all the same bunch from okstupid.I now officially hate all dating sites.

I have tried a couple of dating sites, and OKcupid twice - to no avail. I believe they are a waste of time. But perhaps others might have prosperous luck with such attempts. Most of it is my fault. I am the opposite of the alpha male physically; short, bald, and old, and I never have the courage to message any attractive female...lol. It would help a little if I did. Oh well. I hope all of you find whom you're looking for. :-)

Online dating is one of the ultimate your mileage may vary.

One thing that needs to be understood is that men and women experience online dating EXTREMELY different. I often hear women suggest online dating to guys based on their experience, but there experience is not the same as men.

On many online dating sites, men outnumber women 2:1, sometimes as much as 10:1.

Women may receive hundreds of messages a day. One of my friends showed me her mailbox, it was tons of one liners and other dumb s**t. She told me she gets burnt out dealing with it. She is also one of the women online who are actually looking for a relationship.

Then there are girls who are just feeling ugly and create a profile to see how many guys will respond.

You have to go on the offensive. The odds that the pretty girl will message you is astronomical against you. The ones who will message you, there's no nice way to say this, there's something not desirable about them.

So in short, yes it can work, but it requires the right combination of things to happen. You have to do two things:

1.) Send a ton of messages. You can't expect to send a few messages and it work. I think I read somewhere a 10% return rate is a great one.

2.) Cultivate multiple interests. Just because you get one reply, don't stop the world, keep pushing forward. You never know if she will loose interest, you will loose interest, or she will burn out.

3.) Don't linger in asking her to meet you. Def don't' do it the first couple messages, but don't be afraid.

Online dating sucks!! ! I wouldn't waste my time on it unless you are at least an 8 out of 10 in looks. Online dating is nothing but a meat market. The contents of your profile and messages mean nothing, it's all about your pictures..I have wasted a year of my life on okcupid and haven't been on a single date. I sent 1,000s of messages and only got a few replies.

If your self-esteem can take the meat market feel and you have an hour or so to spare a day, I don't see the loss in spending a few months on a free site. It's something you can do at home at your leisure, which is a very small price to pay for a gamble.

II don't know anyone who's found a long-term relationship on a dating site, though I do know a few who've met online.

Between my actual experiences talking to people on OKCupid and reading the thoughts of the men and women who use them, I became too uncomfortable and mistrustful to continue. In addition to feeling pressured to keep up a social performance online and off, it felt like I was signing myself up to be silently judged and seethed at by the anonymous masses. People are more pissed off about dating than pretty much anything else in the world. I figured I'd eventually meet someone elsewhere in a less stressful way.

I haven't had too much luck with online dating but at the same time have never had any awful experiences either.

I made an OkCupid profile first then after a month of not having much luck a Plenty of Fish account as well.
On OkCupid I sent messages to all of the girls that I might have been compatible with in my area, only about 5% of them replied, some seemed to stop messaging me after a couple of messages and the ones where it went a bit further didn't amount to anything. Out of the 40 or so messages I sent to different girls I ended up getting one date but nothing much happened, I was a bit disappointed but glad I at-least managed to get some experience.

On PoF I think only one girl I sent a message to replied, and she didn't reply at all after my first message back which was odd as she sent quite a long enthusiastic message.
I had another girl contact me on there and all seemed good but then she suddenly cut off contact with me after deciding on a date to meet up for coffee, maybe it was a troll account or something I don't know.

What do you do when people send you messages and your not interested in them?Is it impolite to not reply?Sometimes there is no reason to,I had a devout Baptist message me and there is no way in hell that's going to happen.But I don't want to hurt feelings, but I also don't want to reply back to every message.

I was on PlentyOfFish for a while, then withdrew my profile when I started dating s-o seriously. Honestly there are all kinds of people, but what I found most is that people imagine that whatever way they are is the RIGHT way. eg some just stop responding at the first thing they object to. Others expect me to be cordial and always reply. I created two standard bits of reply. One is along the lines of "good luck with your fishing." and the other is "Not interested, thanks." First one is more polite and I think kind. Second is when they are crossing my boundary into impoliteness, but not to the stage of getting Blocked.

One thing I found is that my tendency is to get kind of jaded; so many many many people, and new people always. Like the name says, Plenty of Fish. So I'd catch myself scanning s-o's pic or profile looking for a reason to skip to the next one.

I was pretty upfront with my situation. And always made sure it got some air time in my first talk with them at the coffeeshop. I'm not really into hanging out with s-o who can't handle the real me. Plus, I'm kind of unusual in that I feel more secure getting to know someone, what makes them tick, though some people find this seriously TMI - Too Much Intimacy - and prefer just talking about what movie they watch or where they went on holidays. Me, I prefer first-visit topics like: What do they like about their life? What are they proud of? How do they get along with their family? Are they friends with exes? Usually more positive topics, rather than what is annoying or troubling in their life, but no problem if that comes up.

Some people are really result-oriented. Like if they meet someone, on the first date they are sizing up to see, "do I want to have kids with this person." One person brought a clipboard, for godz sake. I'm more along the lines of slow and smouldering - we'll see in time if we want to start a fire. Anyway it usually takes a couple dates for me to feel more at ease.

Occasionally people are into judging me as defective. But then I do the same thing. Some people are like, "what? you dared to message me, you toad." And some are, "thanks, but no thanks." And lots just ignore. (And some I think, "My Gawd, all the depth of a mud puddle.")

To all who dare, I wish you lots of luck with finding someone, and lots of luck and patience with keeping them. The sites are a cheap way to get to meet people, and practice. And to at least we know we are there to meet people. At work, it's not cool to ask customers personal questions or make personal comments. And my hobby of meditation doesn't lead to a lot of personal interactions

I had a profile on OnlineBootyCall for a few weeks, but that was pretty hook-up oriented. I had a friend who found the love of their life on eHarmony and swore by it, so I was going to try there next, but then POF worked out okay.

i think they are pretty stupid but they still work better for me than real life dating.

i think no..
i need that spark.

I think they are populated by people that don't need them, and it has poisoned the the mindsets of the people that do need them.

Dating websites often contain advice and tips about online dating. A couple of other websites:
"Online Dating Service How To: The Basics of Online Dating"
http://dating.about.com/od/onlinedating ... Online.htm
"How to succeed in finding love"
http://onlinedatingexperts.co.uk/
(Of course, such advice is targeted at the general population, so some of it may not work for autistics.)