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Marriage Compromising

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Kinme
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26 Jul 2013, 11:47 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
uwmonkdm wrote:
I'd suggest solving this issue of religion before you get married..
What will you teach the kids? Will they be baptized? etc.

That kind of thing usually doesn't come up until you have a baby, and even then it will be a while before you do much of anything about teaching them about religion. Baptism happens young in the Catholic Church, but if one spouse doesn't believe in baptism and the other does, why not just let the spouse who believes have the baby baptized? It's not like the baby remembers and if the one spouse who does believe thinks it's doing something, the one who doesn't won't think it's doing anything, so what does it hurt?

I would be sympathetic but it's your own fault for dating one.


Dating one what? One what exactly are you talking about? Catholic? NT? Italian? Clarify your bigotry for us, please.


I think he means dating someone who is religious, unless I read it wrong?



EmberEyes
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27 Jul 2013, 6:56 am

OliveOilMom wrote:
uwmonkdm wrote:
I'd suggest solving this issue of religion before you get married..
What will you teach the kids? Will they be baptized? etc.

That kind of thing usually doesn't come up until you have a baby, and even then it will be a while before you do much of anything about teaching them about religion. Baptism happens young in the Catholic Church, but if one spouse doesn't believe in baptism and the other does, why not just let the spouse who believes have the baby baptized? It's not like the baby remembers and if the one spouse who does believe thinks it's doing something, the one who doesn't won't think it's doing anything, so what does it hurt?

I would be sympathetic but it's your own fault for dating one.


Dating one what? One what exactly are you talking about? Catholic? NT? Italian? Clarify your bigotry for us, please.


This.



SheldonGC
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27 Jul 2013, 7:21 am

I am not too familiar with Catholicism, I came from a Protestant background, but I'm wondering if it's possible according to church rules to have his priest officiate the wedding at someplace other than the church?

Then again as OliveOilMom said, I do know that Catholicism does allow for a secular/legal wedding to take place, then a "blessing" ceremony to take place later with the priest, that could work.

Btw, as someone mentioned, since you are non-religious, and marrying a Catholic man, have the discussion with him about his faith and your marriage, especially if you plan to have children, make those decisions about raising kids now before the wedding if you haven't already.



loveturn
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27 Jul 2013, 12:42 pm

Don't do something you are not comfortable with.

For example I am not comfortable with marriage itself, and I would never get married because the guy wants to. What I mean to say, if you don't find marrying in a church comfortable you shouldn't do it. Find something you will both like and enjoy, or else just don't do it.



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27 Jul 2013, 12:53 pm

All the best for your wedding. I hope it goes well no matter what you decide up on. I'm no expert on these things so I can't advise you, sorry.


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nick007
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27 Jul 2013, 2:59 pm

My paretns are Catholic & got married in the church. They had to go through some kind of marriage concealing 1st but they said it wasn't much because the priest/church was mostly concerned about getting their money. Weddings are hard to compromise on because they depend on lots of factors. It may be very hard to sway him from something that he wants based on strong religious beliefs or that his family really wants. If he's close to his family like some Italians; they'll be involved in his life alot as well as yours & going against their wishes for the wedding could give them a negative impression of you. As for the anxiety you could try taking a longer lasting more mild benzopine like Klonopin begging of the day & may during. Anyways Congradulations


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Max000
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28 Jul 2013, 4:09 am

lostgirl1986 wrote:
How do you compromise a wedding? My boyfriend is Catholic and he wants a big wedding and to get married in the church. I'm not religious and I really don't want to get married in the church. I don't even think I can since I'm not Catholic. If it were up to me I'd go to city hall and just sign the papers.

P.S-My boyfriend is half Italian so it's bound to be a huge thing.

How do you compromise for something like this?


Well, he wants to get married in a Catholic church, and you want to get married at city hall. Tell him what your wishes are. A compromise would be some where in between those two places.