Is this common on dating sites?

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In the rare event that I get a reply to a message, go back and forth for a bit and arrange to meet up with someone, I invariably get a text message to cancel the date at the last minute. This has happened 7/7 times so far. Usually the rationale for cancelling is really lame, like 'Sorry I have a bit of a cough - can we reschedule?' I say sure, what is your schedule like and I never hear back. I follow up a few days later and no response. Is this common? I don't understand how people actually meet given that this has happened EVERY SINGLE TIME I've gotten to this point in the process. Is there some rule I'm breaking? In addition, I've recently had two conversations end with women I've been messaging back and forth with asking me if I want to meet, I say sure what is your schedule like and never get a response. For all of the above I thought maybe they've met someone else, yet I still see them online all the time. Anyone else have this experience? I'm about ready to write this off as a potential way to meet people, seems like a huge waste of time.

Unfortunately it goes with the territory. It's happened to me a couple times, although not nearly with as much frequency as for you. It could be anything, but my guess is that when it happens, it usually means they found someone else in the meantime whose profile they liked more than yours. After all, online dating is akin to online shopping...and sometimes you may go in to make a purchase, only to see a much better deal before you click the "confirm" button. I don't really know of anything you can do, other than just make sure your profile/pictures look fine, and keep trying.

It's like the old saying, sometimes you have to kiss a bunch of frogs to find your prince, or whatever analogy of saying you want to use.
Dating, whether online or any other way is a matter of process of elimination.
You will have to go through some frustration to find the right person.
I'd say forget about asking what the schedule is like, as some women may take this as being a bit to lacking in assertiveness.
Instead, perhaps say something along the lines of, "I was thinking of going out for a lunch/dinner/drinks/ or a movie on Saturday/Sunday, or whenever - would you like to catch up? - If so what time would suit?"

Potential partners are looking for someone assertive and decisive, and unfortunately when you try to be accommodating and consultative when it comes to arranging a date, it can be seen as being a bit ambiguous, or lacking in commitment.
By the same token, be picky about who you ask out on a date, even if you have been corresponding a bit.
I met my wife on an online dating site, and we emailed, messaged, and phoned each other for days before we met, and met at a mutually convenient place near my work after I finished a shift.

It can be done, and it can be worthwhile, but you need to find the balance between being assertive, being interested, and being communicative.
It's not easy, but if you find the right person it may be worthwhile.

And they assume they can "meet-up" with almost any guy they want to just cause his profile looks slightly better.

Instead of asking when she's free next or what her schedule is like, just suggest a date. If that doesn't work, suggest another one. If THAT doesn't work, THEN ask her to make a suggestion.

Yes it is common. I had a whole thing typed out, and then I pressed the wrong key combo, BAM! gone... *Le Sigh*

Anyway I've had it happen when I just wanted to hang out with female friends. I guess not being ripped and having a face like a bucket of smashed crabs* doesn't help.

Online dating/dating in general for me is absolutely useless, the only helpful advice I can suggest is that you try and do activities (like a gaming club or whatnot, whatever interests you) then you might meet people and make friends, if not you will still have some social contact.

And remember: Smile and be happy, even though there's a black hole inside of you, it tends not to drive away people as quickly

*(in the eyes of females, or so I think given that they tend to not want to talk/ deal with me unless absolutely necessary, whilst I'm being very polite and stuff)

I know, this is random, but Dream Theater rules! *SQUEEEE* Loving the avatar, OP!

I read on another site that the best way to respond to a date cancelation via text is with nothing at all. Don't text anything back; just accept the fact that the date won't happen, and go about your day. She may have ruined your plans for the evening, but you get to retaliate: you're making her think you never got the text, and will come to an empty table at the restaurant (or wherever the date was supposed to happen). If she keeps sending more texts after that or even calls, don't respond or pick up, if you'll lose the game.

The only time you should say anything back is when she retracts her statement and says that the date is back on. And even then, don't do it until half hour before the date, to tell her you're on the way over; pretend you never got the cancelation texts. If doesn't say anything after she cancels the date, don't respond at all, at least enjoy the fact that she's worrying that you'll come to an empty table. Dating is like Hunger Games, and the question: do you want to be the Games Maker or the District Tribute?

The only exceptions to this would be extenuating circumstances, like a death of a close relative, like a parent or a sibling. Many people fake the death of a more distant relative as a convenient, socially-acceptable excuse, but they generally never do it with a close relative.

Cold Feet.

But yes the post about not reacting is good.

I hadn't thought of that...I should have guessed though. I just thought asking that would let her pick a convenient time, and start the process of narrowing down an agreeable date and time, but never thought it would abruptly kill the conversation. Then again, if I'm this clueless about such turn-off behaviors then I probably don't have a hope in hell of navigating the actual date successfully anyways, let alone a relationship! Yikes.



New album this fall - can't wait!

Some dating sites employ people to make false profiles and chat members up to keep the interest high.