why I can't do the bar and club thing

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Hi, I would actually suggest going to bars or clubs to get over a lot of the initial basic things with regard to dating. I did this in college. I was a virgin, and hadn't dated a girl since I was 15. When I was around 21-22 I started drinking just a bit when out, and the next 2 years I actually dated over 100 girls. Some of these of course were one night, but overall for me it was a pleasurable learning experience.
Now, I am generally better with women, and can go about asking them for dates and things sober. This is just something that worked for me, and I'm actually glad I did it, even though before I would have said that was not the way to go about it. However, at the time, I had no clue about actually how to date women and make them want to date me at all.

They're also pretentious and full of people that like mainstream and house music.

Cody, with that attitude you are well on your way to being one. However, I think that's how that Mystery dude works, and although I had some dalliances with ridiculous hats in the 90's (I BLAME JAMIROQUAI) I can't in good conscience approve the methodology of that fake-tattoo-sleeve-wearing, date-rape-enabling stain on the good name of giant fur hats.

To the OP, I learned long ago in my theater days that you don't meet people in the club, you *bring* people to the club. Then you get a booth in back and drink until everybody is slammed enough to think dancing is a good idea. Failing that, learn how to sing one old school rap or R&B jam like a house on fire and you'll always have an icebreaker in places with kareoke. I prefer "Rumpshaker" by Wreckx-In-Effect (the creme de la creme of booty raps; Mix-a-Lot is a perpetrator) but almost anything that doesn't have a guitar solo or a chorus that repeats 100 times can work to your favor if people can dance to it.

thank you for that truth!

This all reminded me of something I wrote a while back. I used to go out with friends every weekend. I really don't know what I was expecting back then. I was miserable every time. I pretty much spent the whole time sitting by myself, watching everyone else doing their thing. And trying to figure out what all of these people were getting out of this scene.



Friday night at the R.B.

Neon madness in the wretched night.
Awaiting conversation or companionship.
Lost souls in a swirling sea of conformity.
Needing to be healed. Or loved.
---Dolled up acceptance junkies.

^^^
Friday night at the R.B.

Neon madness in the wretched night.
Awaiting conversation or companionship.
Lost souls in a swirling sea of conformity.
Needing to be healed. Or loved.
---Dolled up acceptance junkies.

THIS ^^^ is GREAT

@ Auntblabby : Thanks A lot of crummy experiences and people watching have led to some pretty good (IMO) poetry and stuff.

I still go out once in a great while, but it's usually still the same feeling, "I shoulda just stayed home"

Pubs and clubs are the only socially acceptable places to kiss strangers.

i woudnt be attracted to girls who do the "bar and club" thing

just look at Miley Cyrus

Back when I went to clubs and bars it was not to "pick up" anybody.

Clubs:
It went to see a particular band (much better music then Miley back then) or I liked the genre of music they specialized in

Local Bar/Pub:
Relax and de stress
Meet my fellow boring but down to earth regulars.

So I never felt the night was a failure because I did not come home with a sex partner or that I had wasted my money.

The only bar I've ever liked, was this little place out in the middle of nowhere. It used to be a one room school house. It was a really laid back place. There was rarely ever a crowd. It was usually just a few of the regulars. Farmer John, Doc (an old hippie), The Professor (he was an actual college professor), and a few other characters. My social anxiety never followed me into that place. Just really good, decent folks there.

A lot of times it was just me and the owner, Mike. Mike was a musician and encouraged people to jam. He would even get up and jam with us. Sometimes we just sat around the table and passed around the guitar. The Professor played Jazz on the piano and he would always have me accompany him on drums.

Sadly, Mike passed away this year.

Two of the guys that helped him out a lot wanted to take over, so the place would keep the same mellow vibe that Mike had created. But it has been closed down for a while. I don't know what will ever become of it, but there will never be another bar like it.

So here's to you Mike. In regards to the song you always loved to jam on, "Keep on rockin in the free world"