Setting Up People With Someone

Page 1 of 2 [ 25 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

basenick20
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 28
Location: Rhode Island

12 Oct 2013, 9:06 pm

Hello Everybody,

I have a question for you guys. Have any of you on this site been set up on a date with somebody through a good friend of yours? If so, does friends of yours setting you up on a date with somebody actually work? Let me know. Thanks.



Stargazer43
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,604

12 Oct 2013, 9:39 pm

I haven't, but kind of wish I had...I think it would have helped me a lot had someone done that earlier on in my life. I have had a few friends "try" to set me up with someone, but it never ended up coming to fruition for whatever reason (typically related to distance - all the people they wanted to set me up with lived 100+ miles away.)



aspiemike
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,287
Location: Canada

13 Oct 2013, 12:42 am

I find people don't often appreciate it when I or them play cupid and try and hook eachother up with friends ie. "So I know this guy you would like." that approach tends to make things awkward.
The best thing to do is just introduce friends (preferably someone you don't have a crush on, or have been with or want to be with) and let things happen naturally.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 130 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 88 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


basenick20
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 28
Location: Rhode Island

13 Oct 2013, 6:31 am

I understand where you're coming from when it comes to this issue but, most of my family is married including my sister and I'm still struggling when it comes to finding someone special for myself so I thought about asking my friends and family to help me out but nothing's working. What do you think I should do in a situation like this? Let me know. Thanks.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,800
Location: Stendec

13 Oct 2013, 7:19 am

The only times I've been "set up" with a date were when another man needed to find a date for his girlfriend's stupid, whiny fat sister, or else he wouldn't get laid that night.


_________________
 
I have no love for Hamas, Hezbollah, Iranian Leadership, Islamic Jihad, other Islamic terrorist groups, OR their supporters and sympathizers.


glow
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,484
Location: England

16 Oct 2013, 3:04 pm

Fnord wrote:
The only times I've been "set up" with a date were when another man needed to find a date for his girlfriend's stupid, whiny fat sister, or else he wouldn't get laid that night.


and I guess women shouldn't be big and men shouldn't be skinny? what are you saying ?



basenick20
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 28
Location: Rhode Island

16 Oct 2013, 5:18 pm

What I'm trying to say is that, people should set their friends up with someone who thinks will be compatible for that person. Doesn't anybody agree with me on this?



Wafflemarine
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 182
Location: Minnesota, Eagan

16 Oct 2013, 7:03 pm

It works pretty well I think, that is how my parents met and 30 years later they are still trying to kill each other. In a good way though and with the best intentions.


I think it is a pretty legit way but often the problem is like mine. My friends never date either and have almost no interest in it they also don't really know any women.


_________________
Stories are much tidier then real life. Stories have neat, happy endings, but all you ever really get is unfinished business.
Life's so much easier when you got someone to blame.


specialguy
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 21
Location: Canada

16 Oct 2013, 9:25 pm

basenick20 wrote:
Hello Everybody,

I have a question for you guys. Have any of you on this site been set up on a date with somebody through a good friend of yours? If so, does friends of yours setting you up on a date with somebody actually work? Let me know. Thanks.


What seems to work when setting two people up - tell the female that she is being set up - never tell the guy. Invite them both to some event, let them meet one another. Too much pressure if both people know they are being set up. Often the guy will blow it, lol. So you tell the girl - at some point she will indicate her level of interest to the matchmaker - if she is not interested there is no embarrassment to anybody. If she is sort of interested, the matchmaker can orchestrate the girl and guy to have some alone time, or conversation time, whatever. Sometimes the guy may need extra handholding. But when both people know it's a "set up", there is just more pressure on the situation than there needs to be. Such has been my experience anyway.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,800
Location: Stendec

17 Oct 2013, 7:33 am

glow wrote:
Fnord wrote:
The only times I've been "set up" with a date were when another man needed to find a date for his girlfriend's stupid, whiny fat sister, or else he wouldn't get laid that night.
and I guess women shouldn't be big and men shouldn't be skinny? what are you saying ?

I'm saying that the only times I've been "set up" with a date were when another man needed to find a date for his girlfriend's stupid, whiny fat sister, or else he wouldn't get laid that night.


_________________
 
I have no love for Hamas, Hezbollah, Iranian Leadership, Islamic Jihad, other Islamic terrorist groups, OR their supporters and sympathizers.


glow
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,484
Location: England

17 Oct 2013, 3:42 pm

Fnord wrote:
glow wrote:
Fnord wrote:
The only times I've been "set up" with a date were when another man needed to find a date for his girlfriend's stupid, whiny fat sister, or else he wouldn't get laid that night.
and I guess women shouldn't be big and men shouldn't be skinny? what are you saying ?

I'm saying that the only times I've been "set up" with a date were when another man needed to find a date for his girlfriend's stupid, whiny fat sister, or else he wouldn't get laid that night.


Oh, and did you get laid that night?



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,800
Location: Stendec

17 Oct 2013, 6:22 pm

glow wrote:
Fnord wrote:
glow wrote:
Fnord wrote:
The only times I've been "set up" with a date were when another man needed to find a date for his girlfriend's stupid, whiny fat sister, or else he wouldn't get laid that night.
and I guess women shouldn't be big and men shouldn't be skinny? what are you saying ?
I'm saying that the only times I've been "set up" with a date were when another man needed to find a date for his girlfriend's stupid, whiny fat sister, or else he wouldn't get laid that night.
Oh, and did you get laid that night?

A gentleman never tells, one way or the other.

Let's just say that mopeds get great mileage, and we'll leave it at that.

:wink:


_________________
 
I have no love for Hamas, Hezbollah, Iranian Leadership, Islamic Jihad, other Islamic terrorist groups, OR their supporters and sympathizers.


SwampOwl
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jul 2013
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 330
Location: The Black Swamp

17 Oct 2013, 6:26 pm

Fnord wrote:
glow wrote:
Fnord wrote:
glow wrote:
Fnord wrote:
The only times I've been "set up" with a date were when another man needed to find a date for his girlfriend's stupid, whiny fat sister, or else he wouldn't get laid that night.
and I guess women shouldn't be big and men shouldn't be skinny? what are you saying ?
I'm saying that the only times I've been "set up" with a date were when another man needed to find a date for his girlfriend's stupid, whiny fat sister, or else he wouldn't get laid that night.
Oh, and did you get laid that night?

A gentleman never tells, one way or the other.

Let's just say that mopeds get great mileage, and we'll leave it at that.

:wink:


:lmao:



Nambo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,882
Location: Prussia

17 Oct 2013, 7:57 pm

specialguy wrote:

What seems to work when setting two people up - tell the female that she is being set up - never tell the guy.

Often the guy will blow it, lol.

But when both people know it's a "set up", there is just more pressure on the situation than there needs to be. Such has been my experience anyway.


I can think of two occasions seeing a perfectly nice girl in tears because I didn't do whatever I was supposed to do if I was normal when girlfriends of friends have tried to set me up with someone.

Of course now I know enough about myself to run in the opposite direction from such an occurrence.

Even though Iam 54 Women still think they can sort me out with someone, just last month this Women at work was aghast to discover I was unattached, within the space of 24 hours shes telling me shes found someone for me whos 42 and will meet me in Central Lobby on Monday, "Will I be around then?"
Fortunately I had booked that week off and haven't bumped into the Matchmaker since, Iam hoping they would have both forgotten by now.

Its bad enough I don't know what Iam supposed to do even with somebody I find attractive, it horrifies me the thought of being set up with somebody I find repulsive, what do you do then in a way that wouldn't hurt somebodies feelings?



Codyrules37
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 748

17 Oct 2013, 9:19 pm

it would be nice if my friend set me up with a girl. I obviously can't approach women myself and my friend is a lot more confident around girls than I am.



basenick20
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 28
Location: Rhode Island

18 Oct 2013, 8:14 pm

I have read all of your posts so far and many of people on this feed agree with me people setting people up with their friends actually works. Also, I have another question pertaining to this. Has anybody on this site was set up with another person by a friend? If so, how successful was your relationship with that person and how long have you and your significant other been together for?