Dating Sites

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Can anyone recommend a decent dating site. I am happy to pay for a dating service. I have tried free sites like Badoo and okcupid. It is fully of horrible slimy men who seem to think I am the local free prostitution service. I am not interested in hooking up for casual sex. Nor am I interested in men who just want to invite me around to their house all evening when all they really want is free sex.

I am looking for someone to date and develop an emotional connection/bond with before adding in the intimacy. I want to find someone who enjoys museums, the theater, riding roller coasters, fitness/paleo nutrition, traveling, the coast, fossil hunting/beach combing, hiking etc.

I am not really into night clubbing, pubbing or drinking so don't want a male who expects me to spend time doing such things. I am fed up with men wanting me to get drunk and have sex with them. It upsets me and makes me feel like I will never find anyone who respects me.

I know i have had some issues with writing profiles on these places, I don't really know what to say to attract a suitable mate. I asked for advice elsewhere and they said look sexy so I uploaded sexy looking pictures but that backfired horribly so that was all wrong. If I look sexy men just think I want casual sex or that I am up for sex...I am not, not unless i find someone who likes being with me first.

If I look to dowdy I don't get any responses.

None of them read my profile as they keep asking me what I am into or what I am looking for etc. I have written this information down, why are they asking me to repeat myself?

I know my profiles can be verbose, but still...my interests are clearly stated in it. Ergo I have already stipulated what I am into and what I am looking for.

Which sites would be best to use to find what I am looking for please? And where can I get advice on how to write a good profile that accurately displays who I am and what I am looking for without giving out the wrong impression...people keep misinterpreting me! The internet is as bad as the real world for that.

I appreciate I have made a few social errors but really i don't deserve to be alone for the rest of my life because I am not good at communicating myself socially.

As I say, I am happy to use a dating site I have to pay for rather than a free one.

Have you tried match.com? Also, there is evow for people who are looking for long-term relationships. For me, I can only meet people online due to my physical isolation, living in the country. I am on match.com. It and eharmony are supposed to be the best ones. There is also zoosk. Good luck!

I hope I am not being too forward, but if you show me your profile in pm, I might be able to give you some feedback from a man's perspective. I have been obsessively updating my profile to that I don't look too weird or nerdy or sounding like a perv. It is hard to get it right.

Honestly though, people just look at the picture. They don't pay much attention to what you write in the profile. It does give make it easier for a guy to start a conversation with you though. It gives him something to comment on.

I don't have any experience with dating sites, although I'm thinking about giving it a go. However..

With respect to the picture, have you tried a picture where you look happy and engaged, like a travel snapshot, or doing an activity. That would avoid being too dowdy or too sultry?

With respect to the sleaze factor... do you try chatting/talking to them before meeting up? If you do and it becomes apparent they haven't read your profile I would just bail out right then. Anyone who is looking for a long term prospect would have read the profile.

I think also if you use one of these services, you have to accept you are going to bring in a lot of squid before you land the mackerel you are looking for (or something, metaphor fail) - try not to let it get you down.

Bonne chance!

For a massive list of dating websites, along with some reviews, see http://www.alldatingwebsites.com/ . For smaller lists and reviews try http://dating.about.com/od/sitereviews/ ... eSites.htm and http://www.top20datingwebsites.com/ (or use your favourite search engine).

In your post you emphasised you are seeking a fulfilling, long-term relationship. The major sites chemistry.com , eHarmony.com , parship.com , and perfectmatch.com emphasise this as well, but they can be quite expensive. Try googling for a discount coupon for the site before you sign up. (I have not used any of those sites because at this stage in my life I suspect it would be a waste of time and money -- I need to make some changes in my life first.)

You can find some free advice about online dating on some of those dating websites, and elsewhere on the web (e.g. "Online Dating Service How To: The Basics of Online Dating", http://dating.about.com/od/onlinedating ... Online.htm , and "How to succeed in finding love", http://onlinedatingexperts.co.uk/ ). (Of course, such advice is targeted at the general population, so some of it may not work for autistics.) In general, the best advice I can offer is to try several websites, but not all at a time, and only for a few months at a time each, and also to take frequent breaks from the whole process.

I've tried several dating sites, and in my experience they are all s**t.

And in my experience as a guy, showing that you've read someone's profile and that you have similar hobbies hardly ever works. I think most women just use that as a front and what they really want is for some half-literate buff idiot to to bone her. Maybe men are acting slimy on the dating sites because that is what works. I don't even know how to go about dating anymore because so many women lie about what they want that I don't know how to tell when I meet one who isn't lying.

Finding a true "match" on a dating site is definitely a crapshoot, especially if you don't live in or near a major metropolitan area, but it's possible. I met the love of my life on a dating site, but I always knew it was kind of a fluke (his was the only male profile that didn't sound fake; mine was the only female profile that didn't sound fake). Now that he's gone, I don't hold out a great deal of hope that it will happen again.

OTOH, I still live in the boonies, and if I ever want to have another relationship, online dating is about the only way I will be able to "meet" people. And, chances are very good that none of them will live in my immediate area.