What are your thoughts on online dating?

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I recently joined a dating site but I am a bit cautious.My friend said to me that I should try online dating because it worked out great for her.Well its bit more difficult for me. Some have already asked me to put a picture of myself up already!! and I only joined site a few days ago which makes me worry.

Is it possible to find love online?
Did u have any good/bad experiences with online dating?

You'll find my thoughts about that in the sewers.

I would imagine that a picture is kind of important for something like that. Most people want to see who they might be going out with. Attraction is key. I've never done online dating, that came over a decade after I got married. However, I would imagine that the website can be compared with a bar. You look around, check people out, smile at people who you may be interested in, and approach those you are definitely interested in. Without looking at them, how are you going to know if you want to go out with them and how are they supposed to know if they want to go out with you? Looks are not the most important thing, and putting a picture up doesn't make them the most important thing, but most people will either show interest or exclude someone based on their looks. So, I'd find the best pic you have, and put it up.

I think online dating is risky. There is catfishing. Plus no way would long distance relationship work with me because what is the point in having one if you will never see them because they live so far away? I wouldn't have money for it.

But that is how I met both my ex boyfriends and my husband. The internet. I didn't meet them on dating sites except for one of them. I met one on myspace, dating site and my husband on a forum.

My experience:

100's, maybe even a thousand messages sent. (initiating contact).
the vast majority of those messages seemingly unread, or deleted upon reading.
Some people replied with interest, others to reject me (better than no reply if you think about it).
Some initiated contact with me, some i was interested in, some I told no, Some I just didn't bother replying to when I read that they didn't like receiving the kind of messages they were sending me.
Plenty of people I talked with over the phone or through text, but nothing past that for some reason.
One lady asked me if I wanted a threesome with another guy. (I replied with a resepctful rejection believe it or not)
Some guys messaged me even though I clearly stated I was interested in women.
I had at least a dozen first dates.
Had many people flake out on a date
A couple second dates, and one that went beyond date number 2 (could have even been a relationship if I didn't sleep with someone else)
One sexual relationship.
People that never got back to me after the first date, and people I never got back to as well.

That is my experience. I found myself having better experiences and luck just meeting people at local meetups or by chance.

Basically, it's a lot of work for very little gain and tends to be pretty frustrating.

As for pictures, there are lots of profiles, so most people will just ignore yours if you don't have a picture.

Last edited by 1df5e76 on 17 Dec 2013, 10:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My dad met someone I absolutely cannot stand through an online dating service. Needless to say, this has at least somewhat soured my view of them.

I haven't had much luck. Too many people bailed out on me!

I met my fiance on a dating website. As a female who likes males it is important to have pictures because as a rule of thumb men are very visually oriented on first impression for relationships.

I had one BF of 3ish months, several conversation people that I did not meet, and my fiance. I am in a "long distance relationship" as we live 5 hrs apart by car, but since we met we have been trading off driving to see each other every weekend. I stay with his parents when I come down, and he stays with a couple from my church when he comes up.

Knowing what you are looking for is important. I did not want any sweet, respectful guy. I wanted (and found) a guy who shared the same religious faith as me and is serious about it, and shared nerdy common interests with me, and wants a family with kids, and is ready to settle down. Be specific about what characteristics you need.

Be willing to look in unexpected places. Give it time, and go over your profile with a fine tooth comb. Good quality pictures of you smiling are important. Also have some of you doing things, or in groups, and smiling. Initiate contact too.

The odds are good, but the goods are odd.

I view dating websites as an easy failure mode to fall into for people who are looking for a relationship and not a person. At best. If you're looking for love, you're doing it wrong.

At worst, its a way of facilitating the urges of many slimy people.

Pretty much useless.
It's too difficult to gauge the person you are looking at, profiles can be quite distorted.

If you are seriously interested in meeting a partner, I would recommend you partnership sites, that need a fee. Two friends of mine actually met their partners this way, one is actually married and they have founded family now.

When t comes to free dating sites, they are sadly full of tons of people, that are not really interested in seriously finding a partner, but are simply bored, or try to get seuxal contacts, or whatever.

The site one of my friends used was parship, and she was very satisfied with it.

Well sometimes you have to double check that those photos are, recent and actually of that person.

I met my boyfriend of nearly 4 years on a free dating site.

It was full of people who I would not be compatible with. However, I searched for the criteria I was looking for and sent the first message. I didn't think he'd like me as the moment I saw his photo I just thought he was beautiful. But he did and still does! I didn't come up on his list as I was out of his age range (too young apparently) but only by a year or so. It is worth broadening your criteria sometimes, playing around with it anyway.

I had a couple of recent pictures up and a profile that hopefully represented who I was. It wasn't full of facts about what music I like, etc, but I designed it to be a starting point for a conversation and to create interest. If the first message from someone mentioned anything in my profile then they clearly read it and at least deserved a reply.

I explicitly stated that I wasn't interested in any online shenanigans as it seems that there is a lot of that going on. If anyone went for that straight away they were blocked. It is a pain if you get a lot of men approaching that you don't like, but it must be worse if you get no attention at all. You can always just politely give them a thanks but no thanks at any point. I am not saying all this because I am virtuous, but I was looking for a long-term relationship and not a thrill.

My boyfriend and I emailed for a few weeks, made each other laugh, and finally met for a quiet drink. The method of communication to build the initial bond worked for both of us. I felt that my anxiety about meeting him properly was almost non-existent as we had conversed so much online.

I also met an ex-boyfriend online who was awful, but I didn't do any of the above that time!

It's not something I've ever given much thought to, to be perfectly honest.