lonely aspie,what's your social life like

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My closest friends live far away, so I only see them about once a month or two. The only place I can meet people is at work. The women I ask out generally lead me on and treat me like crap.

What's holding you back? You're financially dependent on her or something?

Haha, it's actually the other way around.

We're stuck living together at the moment and I can't just kick her out because she has nowhere else to stay in this town. Her hometown is 3 hours away.

I run a Men's recovery house; it's my job so obviously I am paid for my work. It's a house for men recovering from addiction, but kids and girlfriends can stay a few days a week and fiances or girlfriends can live there if it's the head of houses (me). If I broke up with her, it would cause a lot of drama in the house and we don't need that considering we're all a bunch of ex addicts and have enough drama there as it is. So basically even if I broke up with her now, I'd still be around her 24/7 for the next 4 months.

And about the financial aspect - during 90% of the time she has lived here with me, I've paid about 5 months worth of her rent, including rent not in this house, paid for food, gas, ungodly amounts of cigarettes, her prescription meds and random items that I can't remember now. I think I may have spent MORE than a total of 1500 dollars on this girl just trying to help her out, but in the last few weeks I haven't been paying for as much stuff other than the occasional meal, food items and of course as always cigarettes.

And the reason I want out isn't because of the above but it is of course related to it. It's just a mess and I hate it.

^ poor panda
however, if you broke up with her now, but in a nice friendly way, she would have time to go look for another sponsor, I mean boyfriend. Or do you think she'd do the crying/trying to kill herself thing? In which case, you'd better just endure

You reminded me a girl back in university, she "threatened" to kill herself from the library window while her bf was breaking up with her on the phone.

Thanks... That's... funny. Really.

Hmm what's my social life like... when I work I avoid all types of small talk or conversation unless it's directly related to work.. which is then easy

off of work, I stopped dating 2 years ago, and the only "friends" i have are those who will show up when I have money to spend on gasoline, food, or entertainment... which makes me feel like I have NO friends at all.

Just between me and you (wp readers) I feel low... very low... like nobody wants to be my friend or wants anything to do with me. I'm one of those guys who grew up in the golden AOL years. The only people I hung out with in real life with were people I had met on AOL. They were all NA in one way or the other.. maybe that's the kind of people on AOL or maybe thats the kind of people I attracted, i'm not sure. But having quirky friends was better than having no friends at all and I miss that.

I think the downfall of AOL has hurt aspies (diagnosed and undiagnosed) more than anyone else.

I have no social life. I'm not sure if I even want to have friends and a relationship. I do feel lonely from time to time, but I get uncomfortable if someone gets too close.

I have a hard time trusting people right away, but I doubt that has very much to do with AS. I can go to public places like malls or movie theaters without sweating, and even strike up friendly conversations with people sometimes. That said, I don't seek people out for deep, meaningful connections very often. I moved around a lot as a kid, so forming lasting friendships was very difficult. Nowadays, I go to church and my weekly recovery group meetings, but that's pretty much it. I've never been anywhere like "singles' bars" or nightclubs, nor do I intend to. I'd rather have someone like me for who I really am, instead of trying to be someone else.

From 2006 to mid 2012, I was having an extremely lonely life, no social life at all ; almost 6 years without a single outing on weekend, other than with relatives, I've only had my career and home. My "social life" were just the coworkers and we never went outings together.

From mid 2012, through a lady I met during a hiking trip who became a friend, I got introduced to her friends, they became my small group of 'outing buddies' ; then after about a year, through another lady I've coldly approached I've been introduced to her new friend who turned out to be my brother's coworker, then to three dudes through a trip we did. I've returned the favor to the hiking girl (whom her social life had been crippled because she had to work weekends full time for a long period) by introducing her to my new group, they all thought she was my gf at first but she's not lol - now we are all a bunch of friends doing something fun like every weekend.

But ever since late 2013 my work went downhill.

2006 --> 2012: No social life, some dating, good job.
2013-->2014: Good social life, bad job, almost no dating.

One can't have it all at a time, eh?

I don't have one. I live in solitude maybe getting out every 2 weeks for food.
better for the other peoples I imagine.

I have plenty of platonic friends and get out to parties and such a lot for an Aspie, but I can't seem to make a romantic connection.

In college, my social life was awesome... plenty of really good friends, went out 3-4 nights a week, shenanigans everywhere. That's all gone now.

Now, my social life consists of:
-Brief, awkward conversations with my Craigslist roommates, at least one of which I think might also be autistic of some kind.
-Going out maybe once a week with the only two people from work I actually like and consider my friends (most of our conversations revolve around how much our job sucks and how much our boss resembles a 30-year-old version of Eric Cartman).
-Facebook/texting friends from college
-The occasional brief, awkward date from OkCupid

It's to the point now where I'm trying to get some of my friends from college to come work for my company.

1998-2012 Moved to a new neighbourhood parents made friends.
Befriended their kids.
We got along fine during all that time but our outings beyond the neighbourhood were limited since when we got old enough their main concern became drinking/weed and police didnt enter our neighbourhood.

2012-mid 2013 Fall out with this guys.
Start approaching anyone that was open to meeting new people.
Become very involved in a church's youth group because they did outings frequently.
Become very involved with another social club regarding learning English
Met some older people but didnt really consider them friends at the time

mid 2013-onwards
Everyone at youth group moved to another city/drifted appart and so did I eventually.
English group evolved into what seemed like a mess to me and I stopped going.
Became closer with older people. Start planning meetings on the weekends and whatnot because we are all fairly lonely.
Still in touch with youth group but we have literally met once in 2014(working on that one). They are nice and all but the people there eventually stop going and I dont wanna get to know someone and then have to say goodbye to them within a year again.

My social life is pretty bare bones, but I don't necessarily feel bad about it. I mostly talk with my friends through Skype and through the rare get-togethers that my few real-life friends host. The problems I have are with making friends and keeping friends, not in actually interacting with them (yesterday I admitted to someone that I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome and he honestly didn't believe me). My only real regret is that I wish that my social life was such that finding a partner wasn't as difficult as it is.
Completely relevant image

Edit: I would embed this image into my post but the resizing BBCode tags on this forum don't seem to work.

I go out with people in my religious community. When we're in groups my socials friendliness drops 50%. I
find that in most groups people lose their seriousness. I like humor but I also can't develop deep
relationships with people I don't take seriously. When I'm with one or two people my social friendliness
increases. When talking with people I enjoy it when we're all on the same page. My maturity is above average
compared to most people my age so I connect well with some adults. In the past I've tried but I find it exhausting
to connect with an immature person.

I know that I can't always have things go my way. So instead of stressing out in these situations I just let it go
and don't contribute much to the social interaction. It's very rare when someone notices my mood changing and
they ask "what's wrong?. .It's not that I'm apathetic to certain situations but If I have too many obstacles in my
way I rather take it easy instead of stressing myself out. There's really nothing wrong. Just like everyone else
I'm adapting myself to the situation. No two people are alike so my way of adapting is different from most.