dating and love

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My daughter with hfa 19 has a boy interested in her that has hfa and is 25. They both attend college together. The problem is even though they have dated a bit and he is crazy about her, they are both awkward, have no experience and in my opinion too much alike in that respect. Their friends are way too involved in their business and they remind me of 12 year olds who haven't kissed or held hands but really like each other and don't know how to proceed.
Do you have any advice. I have asked her point blank does she like him and is she attracted to him more than a friend and she has replied yes. She never has even kissed me. She has never initiated hugging too much.
I honestly would prefer to have an NT boy who is not too experienced, but has some experience at least with being affectionate and not so awkward be interested in her.

What exactly is wrong with being involved with someone awkward?
And why is it ok for your daughter to be awkward and inexperienced but not her boyfriend?

Do do you know that your daughter wants to be affectionate with him because it's not uncommon for those of us on the autism spectrum to dislike affection & some like me only like affection 1ce we're really close to a partner so an affectionate partner might make her feel pressured. hose of us on the spectrum tend to be pretty awkward with relationships as you know but it can be much worse in the beginning stages of a relationship. They may also want to take things slow due to their lack of experience & him being older which could make things more awkward in the begging as well. If they're not a couple & never dated or anything you could try suggest to your daughter that she ask him out or tells him she likes him.

well..they have gone out on a few dates, that he asked her out on but he had a lot of people giving him advice and involved in everything. I guess there are all levels of couples on spectrum. They are both smart kids but very awkward in socialization. Both are very good looking and present very well, BUT, as I said don't exactly know how to proceed. And they are surrounded by a group of promiscious friends always encouraging them to do more which makes them feel even more shy about their relationship.

I'm a 25-year old guy in a relationship with a 19-year old girl who's probably even more on the spectrum than I am. Like your daughter and her BF(?) I'm very high functioning and attending college. I think it's very unlikely however that you're my SO's mom, so don't worry

Before I met my SO I had limited interaction with girls. I used to be pretty smooth until I was about 13, 14 or so, but then depression set in. By the time I started dating her I had pretty much zero experience. When it came to love I quickly recovered, learning how to be intimate and hug, and how to respect this enigmatic and infatuating other being as someone with sometimes radically different interests as me. What I learnt is that some things have to be taken slowly, and some things will almost feel natural.

My parents weren't too great on the talk - my dad literally said "Don't worry about her bleeding or hurting, all girls do that. It gets better." - not quite the talk I hope to give to my own kids one day, and certainly not something I agree with. I only started talking with my mom about sex after I had already had sex. When my SO and I started having sex, or well, her mom expected us to have sex, she had long talks with her mom about it. My SO then would talk to me about the same things. What her mom talked about were her own experiences, how she met her dad, the things she regrets, how to use protection and what to do if things go wrong.

If you have not already talk to your daughter about intimacy. Let her know what can happen and what she has to do. Tell her that sex isn't like porn and not necessarily what she's heard of her peers. Tell her that everyone has their own sexuality and that it's okay to ask you about stuff. Don't be alarmed - I barely hugged my mom too, but I learnt how to quickly once I got in a relation.

The only thing I'd really miss my mom telling me before I started having this relationship is how to do back rubs. Honestly. My life would be so much better if I could give good back rubs.

I understand your concern as a father, but dating a NT is not necessarily better. I speak from experience.

I am NT, she was not diagnosed Aspie. I was fully aware of her condition and tried to handle the situation as best as possible, always with calm, understanding and respect, but still she felt pressured. I imagine it would be worse with someone else "hasty".

I think something important in relationship to your daughter is that she and her partner love each other, regardless of it being a Asipe or NT. I think just having both interest in each other can move them to overcome the difficulty.

I would suggest telling her that they should both try to ignore their friends advice. Tell em that while it's well intentioned your daughter & her bf aren't like them when it comes to experience & they should not try to be like their friends but rather find what works for them both & their unique but very beautiful relationship. & of coarse tell her that you'll be there for her whenever she wants to talk or ask questions or needs support or anything. It's great that your concerned about their relationship but be careful not to become overinuvled with it like their friends are.