I can certainly see why some people are single.

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In a private message on a DATING SITE in response to an innocent question? That response was completely unwarranted, and would completely put me off ever talking to the guy again.

I mean, seriously! It would have been one thing if he gently corrected a misconception HB had, but instead he LECTURED her for asking a simple question. It might be okay (might be, but still not guaranteed you won't offend someone) to do that with your family or friends, or people on an autism support forum, but to do that to someone you're trying to impress in a romantic fashion? No. Just NO.

Yes, I also completely understand why he has a hard time getting dates. Makes perfect sense.

Last edited by Eureka13 on 16 Mar 2014, 8:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

you are 100% right, you answer questions to cut people out of the list and tell them what you want and don't want. If someone is something that matches what you don't want instead of preaching to you "you should not be that way" they really just need to move on. This guy is a jerk thinking he can either change you or impose himself on you.

(I have had similar experiences where people flame me for my beleifs when I was just trying to say - this is who I am , if you like talk to me , if not leave me alone - setting limits for yourself and your life is not the same as telling others they have to live the same way you do or make your same life decisions)

Yes, this!

Hmmmm. I know some don't see what he did wrong, but it's not the opinion that would bother me here though. I don't think it matters what his views are. It seems as if the guy just wanted to do write an essay and argue his points about what he believes. Whether he is right or wrong doesn't matter to me. Eureka13 and I agree (I believe) about the reasons why you don't write someone a message like this when you are trying to meet a romantic companion.

The guy acted in socially inappropriate way which would be comparable to going over to another table in the restaurant to tell people you don't know that they not giving chance to seafood item on the menu is misguided and they should reconsider and having said that, you admire the tie they are wearing and would they like to pull up a chair for you.

Any clearer now?

Thankyou Leafplant, that made it clear now yes I can understand now why the OP was not impressed, and yeah I'm not surprised the guy is single.

I agree with hale bopp, eurika, leafplant & januaryman. His defense was too offensive. He doth protest too much. It smells like a power trip to me.

Did he ask you the orginial question that you answered about being wary if people had heaps of female friends? Was that question on a forum that he asked or was it on a form that someone else asked? I need to understand the setup abit better to form an opinion besideds that he makes a valid point. I didn't get the impression from that message that he was interested in you HaleBopp but rather feeling defensive about his opinion & ranting to defended it. I might have a better opinion if I understand the setup better,

Yes, I agree with above. I would also understand better if perhaps you explained it a bit better what happened both ways. I don't know what you said to the person.

So, according to your logic, what does the fact that you went to the trouble of creating this thread (apparently to rant about the guy) say about you?

Right, so I guess any time someone vents on the Earth about someone else it "says a lot about them", they need prior consent from person B or their opinion is instantly invalid even though it has no bearing on us. Way to go, Planetians....way to go.

directing a rant AT someone when they are asking for simple introductions is what was wrong. A general rant in an acknowledged place for them is appropriate.

I see both sides of this argument; has has the right to have female friends, and if Hale_Bopp doesn't approve of that, then that is her opinion. What I don't like is that he is lecturing her on this point, as if he is going to change her opinion, and having the temerity that she is being rude to him. WTF? Then he goes on and on and on trying to prove his point to convince her. It's like a christian trying to persuade a non believer to convert. No wonder she is angry and he is single! He does have a right to ask why Hale_Bopp feels the way she does, but to lecture her? I think that is morally wrong.

I personally have two female friends, and heh - I'm not looking to score with them (I am NOT that type that only makes friends in hopes of scoring). They are my friends. If they want to take it further, they can ask me (but only the man is supposed to ask, right? - That is ^&^&*&^^% nowadays, as the tables have been turned). One of my female friends has a boyfriend, so she is off limits to me. It doesn't matter, as I like both as friends.

Well, hale_bopp, at least he didn't say, "WANAFUK?" lol But I'm sorry that you're taking that kind of abuse. I sincerely hope you find the right guy for you. Let this be a lesson folks; you have no right to lecture the other one if that one has a strong opinion; but you can ask that other one why he or she holds that opinion. Don't try to change anyone. It doesn't work. They have to want to change for themselves.

And yet I contradicted myself again. lol I do that so often. Sorry, readers. Lecturing you all with that last post...ugh. I'm sorry.

no he does not - she said she does not want to se or be with that type of person , then he has the nerve to force himself on her

mine says no right wingers do not message me if you are right of center - anyone who does would get flamed, i did not say it for political discussion - i said it to exclude fights in dating, I just don't want to meet them. In the same way she has the right to limit who she dates - whether it pleases the person who is excluded or not.

i found the message creepy. It seemed too close to me. Like, erm, seemed a little why are you telling this to me exactly? It's not about his opinion, its just the time and place. And i dont know, i cant imagine anyone ever being interested in what he said anyway.

Was he trying to be funny or cute or something? It just came off as boring and weird. I feel disgusted that he would waste someones time with such ridiculous BS.

Yeah, leafplants bit about walking over to some random table in a restaurant and talking crap is right. It made me want to lecture him on bothering people with stupid lectures. I'd have gone at him full bore if he'd irritated me like that.

Having said that, its very rude to post someones private message to some forums, and equally creepy in my eyes. What did you want people to say about it? Seems a little attention desperate to me.