I seriously no longer have any desire to pursue romance

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As the title says, I've pretty much just lost any desire for romance or to find/have a girl friend in my life. I don't beleive in things like "just let love happen". Thats not how the real world works, this isn't the movies where say a high functioning autistic person like me was treated bad in life and society and some drop dead gorgeous girl pops up and by the end of the movie they're dating or married. I've hear people tell me things like "oh, welly your still young, it'll happen". Ok, well how "young" do you have to be to fit that criteria now? Because I'm 25 now and have been told that since I was 18! <_< I've noticed that once you get to my age your selection starts to get more slim every year. Most of the people my age in my city are already married/engaged and/or have multiple kids. The people left that are single seem to already have a minimum of 3 kids already because they started popping kids out since they were 18. I tried getting close to someone that had a kid, and never again! I can tell you right now after that I am no rush to have kids anytime soon, if ever at all because if I could barely handle someone elses kid, how am I supposed to handle it if its my own? Its not like I could just get up and leave if it became too unbearable.

Finding a girl around here that doesn't have kids is a rare gem, and the few that are have such high standards, that people like me might as well not even bother because we'll never fit their criteria. I've tried various methods of finding dates and threw in the towel with all of them. Don't even get me started about dating sites alone....

I've come to realize that a girl friend or romance won't bring me happiness in life. I haven't had sex for nearly 4 years now, so my sex drive is pretty much non existent and its hard to want or desire something when you barely even remember how it feels anymore. The most physical I'll get with a girl now and days is a hug, and thats usually only with about 3 close female friends of mine. I'm tired of the drama and just don't care for it anymore. I'm not taking a "break" from dating, I seriously just have no urge or desire for it anymore, and I know as I get older my options and choices out there will just keep getting smaller and smaller. Not everyone finds someone in life, a harsh truth that some people in this world just refuse to accept thanks to our flawed society.

I feel you OP and have no idea why no one has replied to this by now o.O...

I certainly related to what you said about selection thinning with every year you age and the people having kids.. I'm only twenty and I see this happening myself. I haven't given up but it's certainly not a promising scene for me either.

Hang in there and continue to enjoy the other aspects of your life, if something crops up it's a bonus. I don't believe you will be single for the rest of your life, you seem like a straight up guy to me.

Keep your chin up and take it easy friend.

I am battling with that every day now. And I have tried the single mother dating and it doesn't work. Some don't have the time to date or some surround themselves with so much drama you cannot even fit in nowhere.

I've dropped OLDing. I deleted all of my profiles. OLDing is favored for women hands down. And after getting ignored for so much you just call it what it is. I'll be 25 this year. If your sex drive ever does come back, don't go on f*****g sprees. Soon you'll create a void. Like I did. Now I am urging for female companionship in the wrong paths.
Maybe you can try different cities? Or a different country. I've heard many guys say it is good to try out at least one foreign women in their lives if they can. Idk

That might be your problem there.

You'll get no argument from me about dating sites though.

Hi, I'm just curious, if you've given up on love and dating, why are you in the love and dating subforum? What is the purpose of your thread?

I don't expect i'll ever find anyone either, but giving up for me mean accepting fate and death. I am not ready for that even if it is my future.

However I've been hurt far too much to go after women anymore so I just look at them from my dark corner, and when they contact me I count down the day until they reject and ignore me. It's usually after 2-3 days to 2 weeks like the latest one. Women scare me with with games they play its not nice.

I know there's nice women out there but it seems unlikely I'll ever meet them.

though I too wonder why you make thread here.

Where else is he going to put this thread? The theme of this sub-forum is love and dating aka romance. The title of this thread isI seriously no longer have any desire to pursue romance. It can't go into the parents forum, it can't go into the PPR forum, it doesn't belong in the fim and tv forum. This is the subsection about things related to romance. Why are people so upitty about what goes into this section? It seems to have been claimed as the pool for those who want to find an SO, who want to moan they haven't the skills to meet one, that the opposite sex hates them and so on. Lets broaden it out a bit an invite other people to post in here. No wonder people were advising newbies not to post in here.

Lets change this sub-forum.

BTW I totally relate to the OP.

I have to say that people told me the tides would change after 30 and so far *cross my fingers* they have been correct. I have been getting far more attention at 31 than I did at 28-29 and it has been from higher quality women. Maybe it's because I learned from my last relationship but things seem to finally be going right for me at least for now. No Girlfriend yet but I have had three different dates and am working on a fourth in less than a couple of months. That would have been unimaginable when I was the OPs age. I have found things have gone better since I tried changing my attitude from "why don't I have a girlfriend" to "what can I do to be the kind of man a woman wants to be with?" Easier said than done I know!

My issues with it is that I've noticed a lot of the single mothers that have kids, the kids tend to have these REALLY unhealthy attachments. The girl I was seeing, her kid was so bad with attachment that she couldn't even go to the bathroom by herself for 45 seconds without him nearly about ready to kick the door down. It wasn't like I was a stranger to him or anything either, I was there nearly everyday for 4 months, the kid referred to me by name and everything, got excited when I was there, but despite that still couldn't be alone with me even if she stepped outside her appt for 5 mins to get her mail because he's start freaking out that bad. He'd just stand by the door the whole time and try to get it open and throw a screaming tantrum. Thank god he wasn't strong enough to open the door, but my fear was what do you do when he does get to that point? Barricade yourself in front of the door? Physically restrain him from it? I don't like getting touchy with kids in the first place if I don't have too. Aside from that though as Shaded said, it just didn't work. We never got to go anywhere alone or have "us" time. I'm not even talking about sex, I mean just being able to sit in the living room and have a conversation was near impossible because the second you turned your eye off of him he was getting into something he wasn't supposed to do.

I had to stop seeing her though because it became too unbearable for me. The girl was ADHD and dyslexic with horrible anxiety problems and wouldn't take her meds. If it was just that I wouldn't had cared because I'm autistic and I'm sure I do things that can turn people away without realizing it, but with the combo of that and her kid I just couldn't handle it anymore. Last week a female friend of mine that I hadn't seen for a few months had moved back to my city and I hung with her for a couple hours. I was so used to getting barked and snapped at by that girl for four months from her anxiety problems that I actually felt weird being with that girl that night who was nothing but nice, thats how bad I was damaged from all of it.

I wasn't meaning to be uppity, I was genuinely asking the OP why he was posting here. I couldn't see the purpose to the thread, as he wasn't asking a question, and didn't seem to be giving advice. AFAIK threads for understanding and support go in The Haven.

It just felt like he was saying "I'm letting you all know that I am no longer going to discuss L&D", in which case all he needed to do was NOT post a thread.

So I figured I'm missing something, and asked for clarification. I can't respond usefully if I don't know what the thread is for.

The truth is never had a real desire for a relationship bar one or two instances in my life. i've always thought "what's the point?" due to very low self esteem and confidence. i always thought "why bother, no one is gonna like you". i was just watching a vid of someone with a serious facial tumour and how he actually overcame his confidence problems and has a wife and three kids. so perhaps i assume woman are too strict on looks and confidence. i don't know...

at the moment i'm still hopeful i can find someone but i know it will have to take a lot of work on my part. that's the tough part for me though. so i don't know if it's easier to just say "i don't care, i give up" or to perhaps try. i guess that means that there is some desire, but not much hope in it being fulfilled.