people fixations

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One potential cause of AS could be experimental trials of the drug 5-SB on individuals without their knowledge. It all makes sense to me now.

I have the same sort of fixation with people. That is why it is so hard to get over someone.

Ditto

HATE IT

I am also afflicted with this problem, as I have shared to some extent with one of you. It has been very helpful to have someone to confide in, Graelwyn. Does anyone know of a way of overcoming the problem? I am troubled by doubts as to whether these feelings have any true love in them at all, and if not how will I ever know, if I do not know how will it ever be morally permissable to ask them out, even if the insurmountable moral obstacles like the existence of a current boyfriend other than myself stop happening. These emotions seem complicated, with many threads woven together. I think if only the friendship feelings remained that would be a great relief. I should be more grateful than I am that I can be friends with the person I am currently infatuated with. That I can talk with her is surely a definite improvement on that other time in high school... I must be regressing to my early time on Wrong Planet, when I seemed to be confiding left right and centre.

I used to it is a sure way to get hurt.

Yeah…I just identify it as an obsession like any other (they’re all based on emotion after all) and wait it out; everyone gets “crushes” and fixations, it's just that we who are “sensitive” have a tendency to become more obsessed and [internally] emotional than the "normal" people.

I've had my fair share of people I've fixated on; and people who've fixated on me, interestingly enough the latter are the ones that hurt the most – people I’ve liked in return but I was unable to…to do anything due to who I am. Hurting people without intention sucks….

Blah.

it happens to me.

I think my fascination with Roger Bannister is quite safe. He's 78 years old, has been married over 50 years and lives far away from me. It isn't that kind of interest, anyway. I admire his accomplishments.

Same here, I reckon. I've just got to the point where I'm seriously thinking "why bother?"

I think I've heard it all by now: "I like you as a friend," "I already have a boyfriend", "I've realised I'm a lesbian," "I'm married to the sea"... well, maybe not the last one, but you get the idea.

And I swear, if I hear the phrase "you're a great guy, I'm sure you'll find somebody..." one more time, I'm going to scream until my vocal cords bleed. Especially since it's really only the first half of the sentence - the other, unspoken half being "but if you ever touch me, I'm going to rip your hands off and feed them to you."

I'm worth more than that, dammit...

I used to have this problem, mostly in middle school and highschool, now I'm so used to bashing it out of myself and even beating on myself to make it happen if need be that its very difficult for me to even do it when I technically should.

I've always had people fixations. It's probably the biggest thing I've struggled with all my life to keep under control, but it seems to be one of those things that's so deep in my wiring, nothing seems to work to keep it away. The good thing is that talking to the person or being around them gives me a reality check and puts all my thoughts regarding them into the proper perspective, so that helps a lot to keep things from getting out of hand.

You gotta give up this thing for mermaids.

See, I would... but it's the tails, you see. I have a real thing about tails.

I think i spend hours a day, kind of slipping into daydreams creating false memories and idealisations.. then imprint them on whoever i happen to be attracted to at the time.

if that's what you mean..

then you get your feelings hurt by seemingly non-existent things as a result?

I don't think this is necessarily "worse" but I have unintentionally never asked anyone on a date or to a dance (unless they were already there). I also never noticed anyone being interested in me until 3 weeks ago, when I was talking to the RA of our sister floor (I'm in an all guy dorm in college) and basically started a conversation about how I didn't have a date to the dance (since she was selling tickets to the dance). Then she told me she'd find me a date for the dance (only one other person has done this [IIRC]: he was a guy and nothing came of it) and expected the same thing to happen (since basically nobody knows what I'm interested in because literally my only friend was video games*). To my surprise, the day before the dance (a couple days after she said she'd find me a date) she said she'd go with me (and after I agreed, I said the first thing that came to my mind as we parted... "thanks for offering yourself up" or something similar...**). Nothing came of the dance (I wasn't interested in her… I'm in the stage where looks matter, and even though she wasn’t fat, I didn't think her face was pretty…[the sad part is I don't think I'm very picky about looks…]) and she didn't say anything about wanting to do anything together afterwards (maybe something to do with me not knowing how to dance)… so basically I have never attempted to start a relationship.
I guess I just wanted to say at least you were brave enough to ask someone out. I haven't done anything like that.

* There were 2 'groups' of friends, the first group consisted of one person who I stopped talking to because he called me a name and I wasn't used to that... now I figure he was just being friendly in the way NT guys seem to be; the other group was 3 people who stopped hanging out with me when I said something stupid about a game to one of them (or something similarly inconsequential). Both lasted about a year, the first one ended before elementary school, and the second one ended before high school.
I never really interacted with anyone else outside of school, which by my definition (almost exclusively influenced by my popular NT brother) says nobody else was a "friend," just acquaintances.

** I just thought it was funny, and when I was growing up, I didn't censor / talk to my video games, so I tend to blurt stuff out like that... (a really stupid one was saying "a blonde joke wouldn't be appropriate now" when someone said something about a girl dieing... Is that more inappropriate because I was cracking a joke during a conversation about death, or just because saying something shouldn't be said is basically saying it?).

I realize now reading these posts that my "obsession" was over a person, ok two people, rather than a thing. It took me like 8 years (no kidding) to stop being obsessed with them.