NTs, how can you tell if an Aspie likes you?

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Well, I know I have problems with reading body language and telling the main differences between friendliness and love. I can't really tell if this person I happen to like is flirting with me or just going "Hey, what's up?". Or both?
So, NT's... Can you?
I'm really curious about the NT's point of view about this certain subject. Without going ahead and saying "I really like you." to someone, how can Aspies express their attraction? With body language? With "hints"? Do aspies seem to use body language subconsciously, in a way someone can sense it, or is that "body language" non-existant? Either way, can you sense their attraction?
I initiate physical contact and try to get to know him a little better if I want to show that I like him. I don't like being direct, really, so I avoid making my crush on him pretty evident. But sometimes I wonder if he get the hint at all.

What do you have to say about this, guys?

I've noticed that aspies do mainly 2 things when they like you:
-They keep quiet because they are too shy. They avoid contact with you because they don't want to get rejected and are afraid of embarassing themselves. Months, or even years later you hear from others they really, really liked you.
-They are very direct and explicit in their approaches, for more than NT men. NT men will usually 'tease' a little bit of he is attracted to the girl. In a later stage he might flirt with very subtle diligently timed touches. Aspie guys are a lot more straightforward, touching more 'obvious'.

From experience, the Aspie boy that was interested in me was very direct with his intentions. He invited me over and then kissed me after an hour conversation. I can also tell because he would share his special interests with me at a depth which he wouldn't do to anyone else.

You can also learn to emulate body language and subtler social signs. It might feel a bit fake, but you're doing it to help other people understand you, not to help yourself.

Of course you can not tell the "difference" between "flirting" or "not flirting", because in addition to being a very stupid thing to do or talk about in general, "flirting" is also a word that means "talking" and does not actually exist. For instance, in books similar to Sweet Valley High, you will see something like a scene where a guy is saying something like, "Hi. That band teacher was over working us today, Huh?", in other word known as conversation, and the next sentence told from the main character girl's POV will say something like, "I considered whether or not to reply to his flirting"! !! !

If you have feelings for somebody, or if they have feelings for you, it is very easy to tell if everyone is being reasonable instead of unreasonable, because you and/or they can say, "I really care about you a lot" or "I'm in love with you.". I'd no one feels the things I just said, then there is no reason to say or know "what they feel" because it means they are either your fjiend, your enemy, or don't know you. There is no reason to "express olinterest" if you do not love or have feelings foe someone, because it means you do not need to be their girlfriend. If you have a "crush" on someone then most people who might say that mist be very young, like under 14, and I'd you are over 14 and have a crush on someone, then there is still no reason to need to make them know about it or anything becaje you do not have feelings for or love them so if they don't love you back or become your girlfriend or if they hate you and want to torture you (assuming that they don't actually do it), then your life, heart, and every part of it will be exactly the same as it was before then. If you do love or have feelings for someone who is not showing any signs they have the same (or, in the case of love, should do so whether they show the same or not), then you should ALWAYS tell them because obviously you cannot be together if you don't tell them, because they might feel the same as you or begin to feel that way after you tell them, and because if there is any very small chance that they do do anything bad because of it if they don't feel it, then they are not good people AT ALL and they were not right for you to love because they don't even support your feelings when the feelings are good! If they're not horrible, then they will still be there whether they love or have feelings foe you or not, and any pleasure you for previously from being around them, is something you will still continue to be able to do/feel.

Regarding ASD, my profile says "don't know," but regarding social things, what people actually do and what people should do, why someone might be feeling a certain way or saying a certain thing if an ASD human being is confused about it, what is normal or abnormal to do, etc., in that area I am NT.

Speaking of aspie men, I think their body language is non-existent, they tend to think about what to do rather than actually be automatically doing it, which would require more executive functioning. A shy man will probably almost never show their attraction. Otherwise they will systematically, over what seems like a very long time, directly speak to you, as someone above pointed out.

I would love to hear in contrast how shy aspie women show attraction, since I am completely clueless on this.

As a female, I do a few things to show I'm interested in a man. Mainly, I talk more (or get really quiet) and try to tell more personal stories...either about my life growing up or something unique about myself such as a hobby or interest of mine. Occasionally, will also ask more questions, although this is not always the case. Because I'm intensely private, I also tend to value and respect other's right to reveal things to me in their own timing, if at all. I might also make more attempts at joking and/or teasing...especially if he seems receptive to this. Last but not least, there are a few counterproductive things that I do when I like someone...may nervously walk fast away from them, act as if I don't care at all, roll my eyes (ugh...even I dislike my doing this - and try to limit it).

Not sure why my actions are this way exactly - but, I did read something that said feelings of attraction could bring forth a "fight or flight reaction"...so maybe that is why I sometimes comes off as a jerkette (fight/tease) or take off walking quickly away from the object of my affection (flight) since I feel so overwhelmed.

I have wondered this same thing. I am good friends with an Aspie and we live 4 hrs apart but the first couple times I went up he offered to let me stay in his guest room and I had to decline because I had things to do in my own town early the next day. Last weekend I told him I was staying the night and so not to be presumptuous I said I could stay in a hotel near by. He said ok and didn't offer the room. Also the first few times I would hug him as I left and I wasn't sure he was comfortable with it so I stopped doing that and then he started initiating the hugs, however the last 2 times we have seen each other he did not. So where I first thought he did like me I am beginning to wonder if either he didn't or maybe he did and that has changed.

And understanding the Aspie a little (my son has it) I have tried to be direct when I say things. I have told him things like I believe in him, I support him (in rescue stuff that he does), and I will tell him how much I enjoyed spending time with him. I have generally done this in a text after I have left or something. And I have noticed that we can text back and forth for a long time about different things but the minute I say something like the above or even compliment him in any way that is when he either stops communicating or he says he has to go.

Even though I have a son with it, I have never had a friend or boyfriend with it so I am trying to learn about this from that perspective. If he does have interest I know I definitely do. We share so many of the same interests and passions and I have never felt like I was more compatible with anyone before. So just trying to figure out how to determine if he does have an interest and if so what things should I be doing to make him more comfortable so this can go somewhere for us.

**for reference we have only become really close friends in the last few months but have known each other for about 4 years. When I used to live near him we traveled in the same circles with animal rescue.

Some autistics don't particularly like physical contact. I'm not one of them.

I am an Aspie, and I *love* physical contact (but only from people I'm interested in, and from pets).
If I'm interested in someone, I talk to them for a while, get a sense of their interests, how spiritual they preferably aren't, etc. Then I test the waters with, say, a hug.

If I hug you, I'm probably trying to figure out if I'm attracted to you or not. If it goes a lot further than just hugging, chances are I'm most likely interested.


I can't really speak for other autistics, as I don't have the same kind of sensory issues they do.

for me touch is only for gf potentials, this makes my family jealous at times and mad at me. I can't get enough hugs and such with a lady i'm dating though.

as for the topic . I am like what others said. I don't know how to flirt and have learned it is best not to show interest in women.

that said. I do tend to reach out to women I like . like messaging them often on fb if we became friends there. there seems to be a line between showing you like somoene and being creepy. As i don't know what it is, i in the future won't do messages either . seems best to be more reclusive. this is why i do dating sites. its clear that everyone is there for romantic stuff.

everyone is different though.

If I develop a crush on someone, I'll tell them outright. I would rather not get in an uncomfortable situation where one party wants a friendship and the other wants something more. I am very direct in all my social interactions (I ended up with the best friend that I've ever had by demanding we be close friends because I thought they were cool and interesting), and do not appreciate the subtleties of flirting. I have never once realized a woman was flirting with me while she was actually doing so. I will only realize it days, weeks, months, years later. I like to leave very little room for ambiguity, but it is not something that is often appreciated by others.

I would like to figure out a way to outright tell him how I feel or ask him how he does. I am hoping that regardless of how he does feel that we would be able to continue to do the rescue work together. Both of us bring different talents to our mission and I would hate to put that at risk. I imagine I need to figure out a delicate way to do this that he doesn't run for the hills and risk the rescue?