tarantella64 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
GiantHockeyFan wrote:
tarantella64 wrote:
And that's just rape -- one of the most extreme forms of male violence against women. Says nothing about other forms of domestic violence, bullying, lying, stealing, abandonment of children, other things women just suck up daily. So yeah...I think if men want women to be more ponies-and-daisies about them, a lot of behavior has to change. And men have to be the ones policing it in other men, because y'all don't listen to us.
I just had a thought about this: maybe the reason women can get me so angry is the same reason I used to get angry when minorities would complain of racism. I simply am unable to perceive how any man could possibly engage in non-consensual acts and enjoy it rather than be utterly ashamed like I would and can't accept there are men who see women only as sex objects. Just like I was moved out of a high theft area in a retail store not because I was suspected of the crimes but because I was so naive I could not "get" that people stole just for the thrill of it not economic need and was blinded to reality. I simply am unable to enjoy any form of intimacy or sexual acts if my partner is not enjoying it too and I honestly cannot perceive how anyone could feel any differently.
I guess I take it personally because I am flat out incapable of sexual assault, just like I am flat out incapable of stealing anything for any reason and feel it should be self-evident I am as soft as a kitten despite my "tough" exterior. I forget sometimes that not everyone shares my pure heart and desire for monogamous, serious, reciprocal relationships only.
Because you a normal man, that's why.
I always wondered about the rapists' "sexuality" - Studies of rapists vs non-rapists show that rapists get erection when exposed to violent sexual stories.
http://www.nytimes.com/1991/12/10/scien ... apist.htmlAll this inndicate that the rapist mind is an abnormal mental case. The Harasser mind might be on the same spectrum.
However this doesn't explain the group rape cases; how it is possible that men with this rare form of "sexuality" happen to be together in the same place? maybe they befriend each other?
Given how common rape is, and how ubiquitous sexual harassment is, I find it very unlikely that this represent some sort of wildly deviant case. It's also shocking, but telling, that when rape is described to undergraduates but not called rape, a very large minority of the men think it's acceptable behavior.
Well studies show otherwise, they're showing that the rapist mind IS a deviant case, their minds react entirely different to certain stimulus (ie. violent stories), but no study so far shows how common this deviant case is.
You may believe that all men are potential rapists by default but research results are more valid than what you think of men, keep in mind that even if this case is apparent among 1 or 2% of men tho that's still a lot of men, most harassers and rapists do their crimes serially.
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I think a lot of men who distance themselves from rape and harassment are picturing something pretty anomalous: a random guy seizing a woman, dragging her off to an alley, etc. That's not usually what happens. I was raped in a very ordinary way in college: I was young and naive, and it didn't occur to me that if we fooled around naked but I said "no" to going past a certain point, the guy would just ignore me and do as he pleased. It was over very quickly. Married women get raped like this, too -- and then are told they owed it to the guy. There's a lot of "just do this" in the context of intimacy, and then a bit of muffled protest and physical force and then it's over. And this is where all the "she really wanted it, I mean she enjoyed it" and "I couldn't help myself, I was so turned on" comes from. But rape is what it is.
That still requires violence and enforcement, you said no but yet he enforced it on you, you being naked isn't the issue. He's not any different than the dark alley dragging-rapist, I dunno how this real life example dis-validates the study I linked to.