So I told an aspie I like him...

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I think he may be trying to make you his best friend before he meets you and considers you a romantic interests, even though he has said he "loves" you. This might be a rule he holds.

Maybe he figures that now is not the right time to meet you because of what you are going through. Perhaps he was able to decipher what you said and concluded that you weren't hinting anything.

It's possible he doesn't require closeness in the way you might. My husband could go weeks without talking to me and still be fine. We are both on the spectrum, yet I require constant contact and reassurance. With others besides him, I need a "break" from being social. So, I might not be able to talk to my friends for a week or two because I need downtime. I realized I need people who are living with me to talk to me every day and be physically close.

I've noticed with aspie men, some of them are very different from me. The ones I'm talking about really are like my husband. In fact, too much contact is actually bad and stressful in their case. He might not be like this, though. Again, I would be direct. "What is the reason you do not want to meet physically right now?"

It's bloody stark raving borderline-robot-Nixon bonkers terrifying, an undulating calabi-yau manifold of tumbling rabbit ears and cat videos served on wilted lettuce and LSD vinaigrette with a side of "we told you so" hashtags. Aww means tonight's appetizer is something with more than eight legs served by another princess in another castle beneath microwaved butter (or Sclerotia truffles) of indeterminate origin. Garnish that with Worcestershire sauce, miniature lemons and airsickness tabs. Pairs well with vodka. Hearing "awww" from girls is usually as confusing for me as learning programming languages overnight. We don't know where it's directed, some of us have a cat and I'm hazarding a guess that too many of us aim too directly towards "cuteness" since hipster seems to be the new black. I shouldn't be allowed to wear hats. Court order! Collaterally...

I like wearing black but I can't afford spray paint for all my laptops, so I'll shut up and just say we can appreciate the aesthetic but we're too down-to-earth to work beyond cuteness in the public eye.

I'm 120% sociable, rather autistic and I love to party but I still can't stomach eye contact. Most eyes are beautiful

Somebody needs to buy cberg a good bloody Mary today.

LOL! I was saying "aww" because I thought what that guy said to the OP was "cute". I'm so sorry my word usage caused such stress.

I would totally buy you a bloody mary. XD

So you know any bars that accept bitcoin?

Nope. I don't have any bitcoins to buy you a bloody mary. Only USD.

hi everyone I'm sorry I've been away for so long. My grandpa passed away a week before mother's day and it's been a rough month for me. Over the past few weeks I've learned that acceptance of a love one's passing is a gradual process that may take years to fully recover from, but I believe things are starting to look up.

Anyhow, I am back with updates and new questions. I really do appreciate any sound advice you can give.

So since the last time I posted my aspie crush and I have form a closer bond than we had previously. At least to me it seems that way. He told me things that no one else knows and he is very comfortable with being completely honest about his life prior to knowing me. He said to me that he thought I was really kind and that he felt really comfortable around me. He also said that although he doesn't have much experience with love, he does believe in his heart that he loves me because he has never felt so strongly for anyone else the way he has for me. He revealed that he thinks about me a lot and it makes him very happy to know that there is some one in this world who cares about him and who he can feel so comfortable around.

We begin talking a lot over the past few weeks and he initiates most of the calls. At first he would tell me nearly every day how much he loves me and that I was essentially his dream girl among other really sweet things he would say to me. I was a bit taken back at first and scared because it seems he was moving really fast and it wasn't something I was use to.

But because he wore his heart on his sleeve I fully trusted him and I was really touch by his expression of love for me. We talked in length about meeting up some time this year. He also revealed to me that even though he was sexually attracted to me he also have a lot of respect for me and assured me that he loves me for the kind heart person he sees and not simply for my appearance. He said that he will wait until I feel ready before meeting up with me. I told him sure, perhaps some time this coming winter. I thought it may be cool if we could just meet up as friends and go for a movie.

At first he told me it seems like a long time away. Later, he added he doesn't mind because it will give him time to work on his body. He seems to be very self conscious about his body. He said bad eating habits and health issues have caused him to gained weight over the past few years. He knows from the get go I couldn't careless what he looked like or how much he weighted. I fell for him even before I ever saw a photo of him. Even so, He still insist that he wants to look good for me when he goes out with me.

Fast forward to today...his 23rd birthday. Now, I may have over think this perhaps a tad too much. He had told me before he feels uncomfortable receiving gifts from people. So I heard him... but my heart was telling me I should probably do something nice for him anyways. His previous birthdays left him pretty much traumatized because they were riddle with disappointments and rejection, people either forgot his birthday or no one ever showed up to celebrate it with him. I was determined to change that.

So I pressed on, and he finally told me that since he loves me, he feels comfortable giving me his address so that I may send him something. I decided to order him some really cute minecraft cake pops, as I knew how much he loved the game. It arrived at his place this morning and some how I knew his reaction would be an awkward one, but nothing really prepared me for the actual experience. He thank me which was very nice to hear but otherwise he seem pretty withdrawn and aloof most of the day.

I have to mention though, it did get better later in the day. He showed some signs he still wants me around and also seem to have concern for me. I on the other hand, find it still very difficult to read him.

What I want to understand is, is he getting bored of me already? Is he uninterested and tired of me because the novelty of "falling madly in love" has lost its magical feelings for him now that we know a lot about each other than before? Is he seeking something new that will elicit the same excitement he had initially felt for me? Were the doubts I have about his love for me correct after all? Am I just his latest obsession and or limerence?

i personally don't understand how you can fall in love with someone only interacting in an online game.. i can understand thinking someone's personality is cool or something, but that's a bit extreme. he's probably mixing his feelings up.

I repeat my "May 07, 2014" advice.

Look at the previous page.

You have not fallen in love with him.

You have fallen in love with your personal view of him which in 99% of the cases is an idealised version of him.

While the internet is great for many things it leaves too much to the imagination when it comes to relationships.
So many things are impossible to see over the internet yet you start having idealistic views of the other person.

"Oh he replies to every message within the hour with a thoughtfull reply , he must be the most caring man I have ever met"/ whatever bs you want to feed yourself


That ideal view of him and the real him arent going to be the same in many many aspects. However here is the catch: It gets worse the longer you postpone the meeting. Your ideal view of him gets even further from the real him because you have been talking for so long and he must be oh so perfect...

Yes I agree that I should meet him. Last week I was told a few of our long time online friends are driving up to my city for an event this coming Saturday and I asked if he'd like to go with them to meet up with me. His reply was "I wasn't formally invited and well it's too sudden". I asked him another time whether or not he will feel comfortable if I went to his place for a surprise visit and he said " I would probably give you a bear hug when I see you but I would feel a little uneasy because of that who feeling self-conscious about my body thing that I am working on fixing." So since then I have not push him any further. We have agreed to meet by December of this year though.

While I do have strong feelings for him I understand that I am not yet in love with this man. He on the other hand have been adamant that he is in love with me. I am also very dubious of this and have asked him again and again how he could have fallen for me without having ever met me. His reply had always been consistent. "You are very kind, anything I could ever wish for in a woman I can find it in you. I feel I can be myself around you. I trust you and am comfortable sharing every aspect of my life with you, good and bad."

I have been in a long term relationship in the past where both trust and respect were missing all through out the 13 years I was with him. But I stayed nonetheless thinking this is what I had to learn to do if I were to be committed to him. I am glad that chapter of my life is closed. I know what I want and I want someone who respects me and who I can trust and who trust me. These are two qualities I find in him and are the reason why I find myself drawn towards him. While you may think I am feeding myself bs, I will give him the benefit of the doubt and believe that he is who say he is both online and real life. No idealization, just seeing things as they are right now and trying not to make any assumptions about how different he will be in real life. He insist he is the same in real life as he is online.

I will repost the questions I had on my previous post as I would still like to understand his thought process on my birthday gift to him. I don't want to misunderstand his aloofness and lack of reaction as anything bad if he didn't mean anything by it.

So long story short, I got him minecraft cakepops for his birthday. He in turn thank me but was otherwise aloof and withdrawn for most of the day. He did tell me, gifts had always made him feel uneasy.

What I want to understand is, is he getting bored of me already? Is he uninterested and tired of me because the novelty of "falling madly in love" has lost its magical feelings for him now that we know a lot about each other than before? Is he seeking something new that will elicit the same excitement he had initially felt for me? Were the doubts I have about his love for me correct after all? Am I just his latest obsession and or limerence? Or did my gift put him in so much unease and stress that he practically avoided interacting with me for the entire day?

While I appreciate gifts, I don't get "excited" over them. Maybe he is the same way, not sure if this is an aspie thing. People have different ways of showing or observing affection.