I'm not a romantic person :(

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I'm a 19 year old female and I have a new boyfriend. (My first "real" relationship after two that were awful and failed very quickly.) We got together only a week before the end of the school year, so we've been long distance for the past month. He'll be coming to visit me in a week or so. I'm getting worried that when he actually sees me in person he might question his decision to start dating me because he hasn't really seen the "real me" yet. The first time we kissed and admitted we liked each other, we were both drunk, so I wasn't all stiff and inhibited like I normally am. Then the first week of our relationship, I was really stressed because of finals week, so he probably cut me some slack and understood. Then while we were long distance we just skyped and called and texted, and that doesn't show the full picture of a person.

But now I have no excuse for the way I am... And I'm just not a romantic person. I'm really awkward when I try to flirt, and sometimes it takes me a few extra seconds to catch on when someone's flirting with me. I'm also not good at cutesy stuff and when I act really happy and excited about something I feel like I'm being fake or pretending. Like when my boyfriend was like "I'm so happy I'll get to see you soon!" over Skype, I felt like I had to force a smile to match his tone. And it's NOT that I don't like him. I think he's cute, he's a really nice guy, and I do want to be physically near him. I just can't get as exuberant about it as other girls can.

Plus there's the question of physical intimacy. I'm self conscious about my body, and worried that if we get intimate I won't even know what to do. Even kissing, which I've done a lot of with him during that week we were together, and with two other boys as well before him, still feels slightly unnatural. I don't get that spark of romance from kissing, it just feels weird. It felt a lot more natural when I was just cuddling with him or holding hands or leaning my head on his shoulder.

So yeah I'm not a romantic person. Do you all think that's a huge automatic turn-off for a guy that might ruin our relationship? Do you think romance will come more naturally to me the more I practice? Cause I can't wait to see my boyfriend but at the same time I'm nervous too.

You certainly sound to me like you have a romantic heart. Is your problem more your feelings about yourself and your self-confidence? If so, that can be fixed with experience and positive thinking.

If this chap doesn't like the 'real you' then you'll get the opportunity to find someone else better suited to you anyway, so you have no need to be nervous, especially given your age. A common misconception among young people (with social issues) is that the person they're with or want in the here-and-now is the best, and possibly last chance they have at what they think is a normal life... or be loved.

Have you tried speaking to him about your fears and insecurities? Maybe give him a chance to put you at ease before you worry too much about this.

Good luck anyway.

you're probably romantic just not the way he sees it. liking cudling and leaning against eachother probably means you like kissing in a diffrent situation, when you first kissed it was better then cuddling right? for some guys its very romantic when a girl has her own tastes and preferences. to give you advice: feel free to be who you are and not to act childish if you want him to think you're romantic.