Please someone help me

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Everyday I wake up is the worst day of my life. I spent years falling in love with my ex and years trying to get her back. This weak I got diagnosed largely for reasons stemming from this issue was I able to identify the symptoms. I've lost good jobs never could make friends never understood my emotions and have to work my a** off just to manage money and my daily life. I'm left with nothing but a roof over my head, just enough money to survive and a desperate longing for someone who would be perfectly content to never see or hear from me again. Why do I have these constant longings for someone who doesn't love me? Why am I not good enough. Despite being unable to truly know for certain what happened I feel deep down that she really did love me and watched as she picked little issues over complicated everything and convinced herself she doesn't love me. We weren't perfect but for a time, years, I made her happy.
I would give my life just to be able to hear her say "I love you." I spend everyday trying to forget her, and put my life back together. But I hurt every waking moment I know I could find someone else but I don't want them. I need this to stop weeks now I've been crippled by this pain I can be having a good day and a thought of her sends me spiraling into depression. I don't know what to do!!

Get a dog or a cat.

Had 2 cats just got rid of one yesterday because I couldn't take care of it, he liked to piss out of the box.

Man, I really know what you're going through. My ex wife left me in the fall of 2005. I had a dream about her again just the other night. The dreams are always her as she is now. So I'm just experiencing rejection over and over in these dreams. I will say that I have few of these dreams anymore. When she first left, the pain was so intense, it was almost physical. Now, 9 years later, I hardly feel any pain (except when a dream comes along). For me, it just took time to heal. I wish I could give you some advice, but I don't really know of anything other than the stuff that anyone would tell you. Like keep busy, try not to think about. Hopefully, someone else will be better help.

Andrew, you need to talk with a therapist -- maybe for a while -- about obsessional problems. Because that's what this is. It's not that she's the most wonderful and only woman in the world; it's like you've got a cramp and can't let go, can't stop going around in this tight little circle. It's not surprising, there was joy in there once and nothing else in your life seems to have that kind of job now, so you keep returning. But it's really not to do with her.

Find a compassionate therapist and go. Having other pleasures in your life, being able to set things up so you can survive better, will help.

I get like this every time I have a break up--totally incapacitated, suicidal, obsessed. I suggest that you don't kill yourself, write about the relationship, and maybe get a therapist to talk to about it, to help you get closure. That's what I have done the last two times. The feelings get weaker over time if you work through your feelings over the break up.

Thanks for the responses I'm not suicidal but would welcome a heart attack most days, I'm seeing a new therapist and will work on it and yes my thinking is obsessive but it comes from a real emotion I can't control. As much as I love her I would gladly go the eternal sunshine route or back in time and avoid the party I met her at its just those aren't options and the fact that things are the way they are today I don't want to love her anymore, yet I do.
Mostly I had to vent to avoid talking to her again and would just like for these feelings to evaporate yet they don't. I maybe fine tomorrow but one day will feel like this day again. I wish I new how to avoid those days.

p.s. I have those same dreams, the only type I can remember from puberty till now are dreams of being misunderstood and rejected by women.

It's a long read, but IMO it's worth while as you'll learn a lot about how to deal with these (and any) negative thoughts/feelings:

http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New- ... avid+burns

Read it, follow the instructions, do the written exercises, learn stuff, change, grow, improve, think clearer, feel good.

_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Andrew09

I believe what may help you in this situation is perspective.

In the broadest view she really isn't any better than you.

Let me ask you a question, have you slept with anyone else since your breakup?

From what I've heard from others in the same boat, the only thing that got them over their ex's was time and a variety of other women.

Yes but I don't enjoy casual sex it's very awkward for me, just haven't met anyone I'm interested in other than physically.

In my experience it's just part of living with Aspergers. I feel things so deeply it seems like it might kill me, and at the same time I have to deal with people saying I'm cold and distant.

It helps me to take a little pride in surviving one crushing defeat after another. I don't know if I can say the highs are worth the lows, but you don't get off this ride by giving up. Force yourself to get up and keep going. Get help when you need it (it may be that time for you.)

I've been there. I've felt like I could never stop feeling torn in half. It does get better eventually.

Thanks to all who replied, I'm doing much better at the moment think I had a hard depression from the diagnosis. I'm still stuck on her and fully in love but I can hope and try to live my life and become a better man.