Is being over 25 too old to still be living at home?

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Some parts of cities in Italy are overcrowded; there is still much beautiful countryside there.

The problem is not in the space, it's in the cost of homes.

Interesting responses, now my current obstacle is meeting women other than the dog park and at Conventions

I have many NT friends who still live with their parents, due to the fact their jobs don't pay a ton of money and they are approaching their late 20's. This is not an NT or non-NT thing, this is just the scenarios of peoples lives. I suffered severe depression in High School and was at my lowest point in life. People who get things done quicker are usually guys who survived High School, both academically and socially.

very glad to hear that, this stigma is really annoying

I'd say not so much, what with the state the economy is in these days. I'm 27 and still live at home. It's just how things are these days.

Indeed.

It really all comes down to how badly you want to live independently. My opinion is that parents of my generation and later worked too hard to protect their children and encouraged attachment, all the while declaring that when you get out in the big bad world you can go to school and make your dreams come true.

I for one am angry about it. We were flat-out LIED to. And we've developed this whole entitlement mentality, so when the world didn't hand itself to us on a platter, we pounded on mommy's door and demanded we have our rooms back.

Hey, I've got two college degrees and can't hope to get out of debt in one lifetime. I upgraded my teaching license, was a "highly qualified teacher," got jerked around in one public school gig and let go from two other school gigs. We were sold on the whole "hey there's a teacher shortage on, and you need this for job security." My first year on the job the state legislature refused to approve a budget that included education. I think this school year is the first in nearly a decade the legislature approved teacher pay raises. My license lapsed about 5 years ago. School admins and state departments are beyond insane: They never had minds to lose.

But?

Never once did I even consider moving back in with mom. After I lost my first gig, I moved back home for two months while I hit the road looking for a new gig. The instant I signed my new contract, I packed up and left.

I got married and started making babies during those next two years. When I figured out administrators didn't know heads from butt holes, I rapidly put in my notice and started putting feelers out for a new gig. A church instrumentalist gig opened up along with a piano studio?AND a private school band gig. Two years later I got the axe again and moved on to teach piano lessons. Picked up another piano teaching gig 6 months later. A band needed a keyboard player. I stepped up. Another band needed a keyboard sub. I stepped up. As long as I had a decent job, I had a 5-bedroom, 2-story in a nice neighborhood. Lost the house when I lost the job, and was homeless for 2.5 months. We were a family of 4 at that point, and we didn't run home to mommy.

Piano students slowly all fell away?most people just can't afford it, and the college I work for just isn't promoting their non-credit catalog very well. I still have the part-time church gig, but as my teaching studio seems to be winding down, I'm focusing more and more on composing and arranging. Heck, I made my first music licensing deal and should have some music featured on a national reality TV show.

I'm a lot closer to doing what I always wanted to do with my life BECAUSE my career turned to $#!+, which is terribly ironic. Sure, if I had it to do all over again, I'd have made a lot of different decisions. But no matter what, running home to mommy was and never would have been an option. I suppose being a stay-at-home dad isn't unlike being a basement bum, but it's either that or waste money for daycare? I never stopped working just because I was out of a job. I just did my own thing, and it's starting to pay off.

And for the rest of us entitled bums out there who were rapidly disappointed by all the broken promises of education and unrealized dreams, I say don't give up. Go on eBay, CL, whatever, buy a cheap and functional elliptical and some weights, and start working out during all the time you're not networking/meeting folks to research the local job market. If you have a hobby/special interest, figure out a way to buy/sell within that interest and pick up a little extra cash--you can make a fortune just scavenging estate sales and putting everything up on eBay. Take that cash and start your own business if you can. Hire some folks who need a little extra easy work and expand your reach within your community. Join civic organizations (Rotary, or if you're into that sort of thing, the Freemasons. They take good care of each other). Get to know local businessmen, ask them how they do what they do and adapt their strategies to your business. Go to conferences. And before you go to bed, read non-fiction and LOTS OF IT. I'm a huge fan of 7 Habits, all the Dave Ramsey stuff--especially Entreleadership, that Acuff kid who wrote Start, Sun Tzu, 48 Laws of Power, Old Testament Proverbs not to mention Leviticus (all about the ethics) and Job, pretty much anything positive and motivational that keeps you emotionally pumped. Keep a journal--write down your to-do list, your appointments (make appointments with yourself for planning, returning phone calls, and mental health breaks as well as job interviews, etc.). Make little notes about your day--mine is mostly about my kids, but tracking progress on personal projects makes me feel good. Journals don't have to be elaborate spill-your-guts sessions, nor should they occupy more than a combined half hour of your day. Start a weekly blog, update your Facebook status (keep it positive and drama-free), monetize your YouTube videos, send 3 or 4 Tweets every day?you get it. Don't ever give up, and just be the sort of person who makes things happen instead of waiting for things to happen. There are always exceptions, but from what I've seen this doesn't happen in mom's basement!

Hugh Hefner once said you should never stay in bed unless you can make money in bed. Not exactly my idea of a solid moral compass, but wise words nonetheless.

So, is being over 25 too old to still be living at home? Heck, yeah!

Well this is my thread! I don't really know what to say except that I'm 35 and still live with my mother. This is partly due to the economy and family issues. She had a stroke last year and is doing great but it was a close one (if you know what I mean). The thing is though, she will never be able to live alone and refuses to go into some kind of professional-aided situation. We both work but are barely able to pay all the bills/taxes (but we do have some play money). Because of other financial matters, I have no credit but am hoping to build it up with a recent co-signed car loan. She is only going to get older and possibly have more health problems so I'm worried that my job at home is only going to get harder. However, since I pretty much put my entire life on hold to help out, I'm pretty much getting the house when she passes on (mortgage is all paid thank God). I am far from being the "basement bum" as I not only work and drive but also do pretty much all the house/yard maintenance. Yet in some respects I still need my mommy. I worry that when she goes I won't remember to pay bills or turn the heat on or something major will break and I won't know what to do. I'm already planning to live as frugally as possible with hopes of banking money in case something major does happen (or I will at least have good credit for a loan). I have the opportunity to advance in my job, but I'm actually afraid of the extra responsibility (and there's a significant time/money investment required as well).

So I have pretty much given up hope that I could ever have a girlfriend in my situation. I just won't have time, money or privacy. I would love to be able to live alone but I fear it is already to late. I have never dated and have no social skills online or IRL. I pretty much never leave the house except for work and errands. I have plenty of stuff I like to keep me occupied but it just kills me how all of my peers are light-years ahead of me. I want a girlfriend so bad but I also want to be alone so I don't know what to do.

Yeah, but you're living at home for good reasons. You're situation isn't hopeless as some people would have others believe.

BTW, stop worrying about your credit. If I had my way right now, I'd have a goose-egg credit score.

First of all, you're on the right track already without building credit--living frugally as possible, trying to bank money for emergencies. Believe me, emergencies WILL happen.

Second, debts incurred through emergencies are unsecured. Let's say it's a doctor bill (although in a world of insurance mandates this should never happen) or a hospital emergency room. Let's say your bill is $3000. You have $1000. Offer them $500 all in cash, and get it in writing that they're going to make that $3000 bill go away. You'll probably have to negotiate with them, but once you make it clear you have $1000 in your pocket you're ready to give them or no deal, they'll probably work with you. If you can't do that, settle for $1500 and pay $100/mo until it's paid off. The worst that can happen is they send you to collections?which ends up actually being the best thing for you if you know how to talk to these people. You'll settle with them for even less than the hospital. Just don't EVER take out a credit card or any kind of interest-bearing loan for unsecured debts.

Most people once they understand you're only going to deal with them in cold, hard, cash will cut you a break. What most people don't understand is just how possible it is to get by without being ruled by the Almighty FICO score. Need to mortgage a house? Easy. Get an underwriter. Churchill Mortgage will work with zero credit people. What they WON'T do is lend money to someone who can't make their payments. All a FICO score means is that you have bills and you pay them on time. The more bills you have to pay, and the more you pay those bills on time, the higher your FICO is going to be. I don't like owing anybody anything, so if the day ever comes that I get my FICO back down to 0, I intend to hold a big party. If you ever end up in a tight spot, negotiate a settlement and commit to paying off that debt. Make sure it's something you CAN do or you'll end up in court pretty quick and you'll leave with liens all over your personal property and your paycheck. "Building credit" is, sadly, one of the least intelligent things a person can do these days.

ya I wonder if any woman in the history of the world, well mainly U.S. history, has ever dated or been in a relationship with a man, overlooked the fact that he was 35 and lived with his parents

The whole system is messed up and ridiculously unfair I say. On the one hand people say that everyone deserves love but on the other they only focus on the "good" ones and ignore those that suffer from things beyond their control. Makes it look like greed is the motivating factor and that doesn't look good for human nature. I swear if there really is a heaven or some sort of afterlife realm I hope we do get rewarded for all our losses in this life.

I am in the same boat. I am in my 30s and still living at home. I have never been able to find steady work and can't find any now due to my aspergers. I have trouble finding relationships as well and this I am sure is a big reason. I don't know what else to do though. I have applied for SSI still waiting on a hearing.

I have a job and a car at least but my job is minimum-wage, although I recently got a raise since the minimum-wage in California went up a little bit, i'm making $9.10 an hour now

Amazing double-standards go on in society (including with Aspies), and one of those is: it's okay to be a deadbeat, as long as you're attractive. If you're poor and trying to work, and you live with your parents, that's not okay, but if you're leeching off your parents and not doing crap, it's fine.

Just something I notice that goes on a lot.

If you're supporting elderly and/or disabled parents, I don't have a problem with you living at home. It's the right thing to do. What I have a problem with is parents expecting their kids to take care of them when the burden of caring for parents if the burden is unreasonable. If kids can take care of mom and dad and they WANT to take care of mom and dad, then AWESOME.

And I don't REALLY have a problem with kids staying with mom and dad and mom and dad supporting them after a certain age. What I have a problem is an adult expecting mom and dad to carry them and not contributing anything in return. If any or all of my children want to stay with us indefinitely and support the household through our collective work in the music business, they can bring husbands/wives and grandchildren in for all I care. I'd be thrilled. But you you're going to live at home for the rest of your lives, not contribute to what WE want you to do, live a lifestyle we don't approve of, and ignore household rules, you gotsta go. It's nothing personal. If independence is what you want, we aren't helping you if all we do is enable you by tolerating basement bum behavior. If you can get your own job and support your family, what do you need us for, anyway? Get outta here, get rich, and make us lots of babies already!! !

thread makes me depressed.

In this day and age, I see nothing wrong with still living at home as long as you help your parents with things around the house, run errands for them, etc. I anticipate that after I'm done with college I'll be moving back home. I can just about afford my car insurance, there is no way I could afford to live on my own with my sources of income right now. Things are really tough financially right now, especially for people in my age range.